Epsom College Murder Suicide

[PleaseStopSayingHuBbY]

I'm shocked but not surprised. This world is depressing and scary for women.

Well, because it's not an isolated issue for starters.
I know I will be far from alone on here in having been in a house with my young children, terrified at the hands of an (outwardly respectable) man

Busymomtoone agree. I was very surprised by her comments. Am struggling with what to say to my own daughters who are very interested in this story- I think because it is something familiar- school, headmistress etc rather than some more grown up scenario. What will GDST heads tell their ambitious, forward looking pupils? Just feel very sad about this, the Dundee murder of the young mother and toddler, the Carrick case.

What’s there to say,Christ plenty, how much time do you have. One day I’ll have to have that conversation with my daughters. You know, the keeping safe, leery men,male privilege, keeping safe.My girls are small but soon I’ll need to have the conversation

This is true. The gun was his chosen means. He might not have succeeded via other means and he might not have felt able to use other means. A gun is a less personal way of doing what he did. If he had not had such immediate and easy access to a gun, Emma and Lettie might still be alive.

Thankfully to date, no one in the UK has done something like that and thankfully we have much tighter gun laws.

Our gun laws were tightened after this weren't they? I thought we had tighter gun laws because of Dunblane.

I dont think I've ever seen such glowing and admiring comments from those who knew someone.

To be fair, nobody is going to say anything unpleasant under these circumstances are they! I knew her personally.

A woman in her prime with a dazzling career and a girl so young she hadn't even lived half her childhood, let alone be allowed to grow up. A vile, unspeakable crime.

Why wouldn’t there be a thread on a site with mostly women?

Why should there be nothing said. Strange that anyone would think that.

Appointed members of staff who wish to live on the premises are given a Housing Contract with their Employment documents. It can vary from school to school, but there are very few restrictions other than not sub letting, not running a business from the property, not having a caravan on the site etc. It would be difficult for the school to impose restrictions on a person's possessions or recreational activities.

I’ve been wondering that. Any apologies seen flying by, together with the pigs in the sky?

And even unpleasant women don't deserve to be murdered by the man she is supposed to be able to trust most.

I don't know what posters are thinking when they post things like this, unless they are trying to suggest she must have somehow been asking for it or deserved to be murdered.

I dug out the book I referred to earlier in the thread. It’s called “See What You Made Me Do.” by Jess Hill. It focuses on domestic violence and is full of stats and fully researched work on male violence against women. There is also a whole chapter on women’s violence against men, she does not shy away from the fact it happens but she does put it into context.

One fact she points out is that in cases of women murdering their partners, in the overwhelming majority of cases the woman has been in a violent, controlling relationship and has effectively “snapped”. When women’s refuges were opened in the USA in the 70s, the murder rate of women killing their partners FELL by 20%. Because women were able to escape to a place of safety they no longer felt that they had no way out. The rate of men murdering their female partners remained the same over the same period.

That is in no way an attempt to excuse murder, which is always wrong, but it does attempt to demonstrate the very different circumstances in which men and women commit these offences.

@lifeturnsonadime no but why this case in particular and not others? I’ll tell you why- it’s because shes rich and he’s foreign.

Because he's foreign?

I've already said I forgot about Dunblane. I'm human.

I meant mostly that people can have automatic weapons and such like and you have to go through checks to have a gun, unlike some other countries that have far worse gun crime.

Anyway, getting off the point, which is the guy who did this deserved a far worse death then he got and... Fuck it, I'm too angry thinking of the pictures I saw of him smiling with his family. The bastard.

It is probably true that this case and the Sarah Everard case will attract more publicity because of the white middle class aspect.

But all discussion and publicity is good.

I haven't seen any reporting that he isn't British? Where are you getting that from?

Oh holy crap. Didn’t think of this. Yep makes sense

And the fact that, as a headteacher of a school before this one, she will already be well known to a wide range of people in her professional role.

@Shampern i don’t think it would be too difficult to have a no storage of guns in school staff house policy. If you have a gun with gun licence I assume you can arrange storage at your local gun club (although of course this school had its own rifle range)

However, no one should be allowed to keep a gun on a school site. It's madness. Here we have an abusive, unbalanced individual living on a school site who has a shotgun license. He was clearly unbalanced and was was allowed a gun license whilst living on a site full of children. Further up the thread someone says shotguns are not uncommon on sites of independent schools amongst staff- they should never be given licenses.

Or maybe because it happened during a week where horrific crimes against women & Children are being reported in the press back to back, the sentencing of the violent male who murdered Bennylyn and Jellica Burke, and another woman has vanished without a trace whilst walking there dogs?

In addition they were murdered on the property of a school where children board with a fucking shotgun.

But aye we're all racist and elitist on here! You very clearly haven't read the thread as the murderer's race is not a point of discussion. His race isn't relevant. His sex and the fact that he is a cowardly murderer who killed the woman and child who should have been able to trust him is.

This is not an isolated incident.

2-3 women are killed at the hands of violent men per week.

RIP Bennylyn
RIP Jellica
RIP Emma
RIP Lettie

All murdered at the hands of violent men.

*And even unpleasant women don't deserve to be murdered by the man she is supposed to be able to trust most.

I don't know what posters are thinking when they post things like this, unless they are trying to suggest she must have somehow been asking for it or deserved to be murdered*

Of course not. I'm not sure what you're getting at. Are you suggesting that I am saying she deserved this? Fgs no. I knew her personally and I'm devastated.

That was not aimed at you. It was aimed at the person you were quoting at the beginning of your post.