Epsom College Murder Suicide

[PleaseStopSayingHuBbY]

I'm shocked but not surprised. This world is depressing and scary for women.

@Tamarindtree how is the world not scary for women ?
We have to risk asses everything right down to a simple dog walk alone

Quite. And women can have penises now. Not sure people (mainly other women) realised how fucked me are.

follow CountDeadWomen on Twitter. They keep tabs on every woman/girl (over 13yrs old) killed by a man in the UK. On International Day for Violence Against Women (25 November), they tweet the name of a single woman/girl killed by a man in the UK since the last IDVAW once every 5 minutes. On 25 November 2022 they started at 8am and it took them until 4pm to list all the names.

What a heart-breaking but important cause.
Had this account been around just two years earlier then my mum would have been on that list.
Killed by her partner (who also killed himself) 13 years ago this week.

I just can't comprehend anyone having any compassion or sympathy for the men that do this.

I've been blocked from commenting on so many channels now on YouTube because I stupidly go to the comments section after watching documentaries about yet another entitled psychopath man that's killed "his" family.
The comments the other day on one were "Covid probably had a lot to blame" and "I bet she was having an affair" etc and the one that really made my blood boil "He looks so unhappy in that photo, you think she'd have noticed how unhappy he was, why didn't she notice?"
It makes me utterly sick.
Stop apologising for psychopathic men.
FUCK !!!

Huge hugs to you @VioletaDelValle, I'm so sorry to hear about your mum.

Exactly

Yes, and by a man.

Why is that odd? If both partners are WOHPs and have different job applications on going you might well find both succeed and trigger other changes as well which is a lot of change to manage in a short time.

I've made very similar comments at times where we had a lot of change going on at once - luckily for me my OH didn't murder me and the children enabling a bunch of apologists to start excusing male violence and pointing at something I'd said as the reason.

"She made me/him do it" is the common cry to excuse male violence. What exactly would you find acceptable as the excuse for murdering a child, even if you think murdering an adult woman is justifiable?

Thank you

Worth noting that one of the reasons Karen Ingala Smith started this list and continues to work and raise funds for it is because the police don't keep this information and nor were any other holders of official stats.

The fact that violence against women can now be recorded by identity rather than sex just fudges the numbers even further.

I wasn't aware of the website until I googled "how many women are killed by men they know" and it showed up.

It's eye opening. It's shocking. It's more than words can say how terrible it is. I will follow that group on Twitter.

What is also very striking is the installation of the wall of shoes in Turkey, a pair of shoes for every woman killed in domestic violence in 2018. If you haven't seen it, check it out. It makes me think of the other installation of "Shoes on the Danube Bank" in Budapest.

This. I said this to my DH as soon as it was first announced on the news. The subsequent reporting made it obvious. There have been so many over the last year or so and reporting is the same in every case. That poor woman and her little girl. Shameful.

Honestly, the only “feeling” anyone should feel towards him is that it’s a fucking pity he didn’t just kill himself and leave them out of it.

He had numerous options available to him and had the finance to do so. He could have got counselling. He could have got therapy. He could have divorced his wife. He could have moved to another country and started afresh. He could have committed suicide.

He chose to murder his wife and child before killing himself. He’s a selfish bastard and deserves to rot.

No one should be feeling “sad” for him.

Yep, as soon as we knew all three of them were dead and it was a firearm, it was abundantly obvious that it was going to be the male. Women sometimes kill children, family annihilation of this specific type is a man's game.

These men are cowards whose ego matters more to them than their own wives or childrens lives.

I think we are mainly powerless against this kind of violence.

But there is one thing these types of men can't stand.

At the moment, they die knowing that the majority of stupid saps/media will fall over themselves to brush over what they did, call it a 'tragedy' and count them as a victim of themsleves.

We need to start loudly mocking them.

Be cruel. jeer at what cowards they are. What a huge failiure of a man.

It should be in huge fucking bold typeface over the front of every newspaper. How pathetic they are. Every single fault and insecurity.

Has it been confirmed that he did it?

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-surrey-64544884

Headline: Surrey
Epsom College head called relative before she was shot by husband

The way in which the press were covering the story before the confirmation made it even more obvious. For those refusing to accept that family annihilation meant it was overwhelmingly likely to be the male, the coverage focusing so much more on Emma is a giveaway.

I’ve posted this on another thread, but it’s relevant.
I would have thought it was a bit dodgy to allow someone (albeit the Head’s husband), with a personal gun licence and their own shotgun and ammunition anywhere near school premises, let alone living in them. I wonder if the school Governors knew?

I haven't read every single comment. BUT:

1. men and women display emotions differently. Physical violence is more prevalent in men, and lethal violence much more so. This doesn't mean women are loving caring humans capable of no harm, nor that men are the opposite. Only that violence is manifested in different ways, by men and women, every single day. I don't see the point of "hating all men"
2. imo, nobody who murders is all there, and anybody who commits suicide is evidently not all there. There was obviously a lot going on that we will never know about
3. the career success of the mother is neither here nor there, it makes this tragedy no worse than if she'd been an unsuccessful woman. Hugely disrespectful to continuously refer to her having been a role model, cut down in her prime, etc etc

Having said all that, yet again it is another woman murdered by another man. And the murder of a child - well, we all feel the same way. My only point is that knee-jerk, sensationalist, absolutist, mob-mentality anger isn't the way forward. Life, and these sorts of deaths, are complicated

Just got in from work to this news.

I'm so fucking fed up of it all.

Nobody who has either witnessed or cared for a woman in a state of puerperal psychosis would even think about mentioning it on this thread. The fact that some people are doing this is disgusting.

There's nothing complicated about it. We live in a society that has created a group of men who think they are untouchable, women are possessions and violence is an acceptable response to any slight.
Pretending it's complicated. Pretending we don't know who carries out these crimes. Pretending the police can't keep track of them. Pretending it wouldn't make the entire country safer if the police had a zero tolerance policy to domestic abuse - doesn't help anyone.
Women and girls are dying whilst people tie themselves in knots to make excuses for murderers. For murderers. If your first or second or third response to this tragedy was NAMALT then you're part of the fucking problem.

Yes!