Epsom College Murder Suicide

[PleaseStopSayingHuBbY]

I'm shocked but not surprised. This world is depressing and scary for women.

Nearly happened to a friend of mine. She got herself and children out of the house. The dog wasn't so lucky

Next road to us. He killed wife and himself while children were at school

I remember reading an interview with a woman who was the sole survivor of a family annihilation. Her husband beat her unconscious and left her for dead, before killing the rest of the family and taking his own life.

This woman described how her husband was very controlling and expected to make all of the decisions for the household. He would sometimes go against her wishes seemingly for the sole reason that all choices had to be his.

This woman had no idea that her husband was planning a murder-suicide. However, after his death, she found out that his business was in serious financial trouble.

Maybe his impending loss of control and loss of face was more than his fragile ego could bear? Certainly he was controlling and selfish to the last.

This ^^

An absolute coward of a man who has robbed a family, friends and community of a talented soul who had been destined to make a difference, and the beautiful daughter she was raising.

Foster said to a friend that his wife and daughter had become accustomed to a certain quality of life and he felt they would not be able to cope if they needed to take "a few backward steps".

Almost like he blames his wife and child for what he ultimately did. “Well, they made me do it, I had no other choice…”

This isn't about you.

This article is really interesting (and fucking terrifying) - in particular the part about anomic suicide and the precipitating factor of a big change in social/economic environment; that the ‘rules of the game have changed’. Like your wife getting an extremely prominent and eminent role as the head of a prestigious school perhaps…

He’s a fucking scumbag.

God rest your souls, Emma and Lettie.

Didn't it transpire later that something extremely damaging about him was about to become public?

I can remember that poor woman and children, and the insult of having her murderer buried with them, but wasn't it that later revelations that caused the church to agree to him being removed from their grave?

My guess is that this was more about his own sense of shame and not wanting his failures exposed by the diminuation in living standards of his family, and trying to reframe this as ' consideration' for his wife and child.

I mean, he could have asked them if they would have preferred to be murdered or to give up their horses, but I doubt he did.

It's amazing the amount of people on here who are making excuses for this guy. Firstly - domestic violence isn't an outworking of mental illness (not all people with mental illnesses abuse their partners, not all abusers are mentally ill however we do know that if a perpetrator of dv is feeling suicidal then the police will consider them possibly homicidal BECAUSE they are sociopathic narcissists NOT because they are mentally unwell - not all people with depression kill their family.)

Secondly- when you use examples of women killing their children that always makes me question why we still have such inadequate post natal care in the UK. This happened in my area recently and everyone was so quick to vilify her as if post partum psychosis is not a thing. The two are not the same. There are also cases where women have killed their children in an attempt to escape an abuser. Yet she's the only one blamed.

Society are far too quick to reason when a man kills and too fast to vilify when a woman does

I was struck to see so many personal tributes to Emma on Twitter - people she worked with, people she taught and others that she'd met. Her death, and Lettie's death, will have consequences beyond their immediate friends and family.

The links to the rates of family annihilation among men and women mentioned upthread are so stark. Nobody could ever have thought it was 50:50 but 9:1 leaves no doubt about who is committing this crime. The other factor that I think is important is the increase in this type of murder. It's an old study now. It feels like it might be even higher now.

news.sky.com/story/family-killing-cases-are-on-the-increase-10437280

I wonder what could have contributed to this increase, and if the men's rights movement has played a part.

The thing that irritated me about the 'let's avoid speculation' comments before the murder/suicide new was released was that the news coverage alone suggested that it was not a simple accident, which might not even have made the national news.

Horrible horrible crime. Depressed thinking about it.

Don't like the DM coverage where the cost of a boarding school is in the article.....really what has that to do with this heinous murderous act?

I mean you can try and manipulate me, but it's not going to work.

Bingo

@keepaweatheredeye it’s impossible to get quality help, even when you can pay, more often than not. For adults & children. Everything is overstretched re: mental health.

You’re making excuses for a violent murderer, what sort of reaction did you expect?

Emma and Lettie.

Jill and Kirstie.

Clodagh and Liam, Niall and Ryan.

All killed by men.
Men they knew.
Men they loved.
Men they believed they could trust.
Men who for some unknown reason, because they got in to some financial difficulty, took their rage or embarrassment or whatever out on their innocent wives and children.
Men.

The single common denominator here is the men in the lives of these women.

Not all men because not all men grow up to think that this is an acceptable way to deal with their issues.

I'm not tarring all men with the same brush but the statistics on this website are seriously scary and yet this is not the first story on the news every night. Why are these figures not reported on a weekly/monthly/quarterly basis?

www.weforum.org/agenda/2020/11/violence-against-women-femicide-census/

This is already 3 years out of date. How many more women have died at the hands of someone they knew, they trusted, they loved???

@HelpASisterOut999 if anyone watched Ambulance last night, there was also a case where mum was the perpetrator.

@Toddlerteaplease ah that’s ok then! If women do it too, why are we even discussing this? Let’s close the thread now!

Does it make you feel better to convince yourself that it’s not overwhelmingly a male crime? Maybe it lessens the uncomfortable feeling that it might happen to you?

Honestly listen to yourself!

I was answering a specific post.

@Emotionalsupportviper Yes, from what I can remember of the case certain details had been released, for example that he was addicted to porn. However it was also suggested that there was something else, that was much worse than this, that could come out. As far as I know this has not been revealed.

My primary school
Friend was murdered as a adult by her ex partner , a neighbours daughter murdered last year by her ex partner , a miracle their children weren't
How common it is now becoming to know of women murdered by men , it's absolutely terrifying!
How anyone on here can feel
Any sympathy towards that piece of shit is beyond me
You deserved so much better Emma and Lettie x

@LookItsMeAgain if you don't already, follow CountDeadWomen on Twitter. They keep tabs on every woman/girl (over 13yrs old) killed by a man in the UK. On International Day for Violence Against Women (25 November), they tweet the name of a single woman/girl killed by a man in the UK since the last IDVAW once every 5 minutes. On 25 November 2022 they started at 8am and it took them until 4pm to list all the names.

The Femicide Census is usually published in February so the one covering crimes committed in 2021 should be out in the next week or so. In 2021 there were 144 confirmed cases, plus another 17 still being investigated.

For 2022 the unofficial count stands at 107 women/girls killed by men, with 16 further cases awaiting investigation/a formal charge.

I a very few miles from where this happened but never heard what it was quite a few rumours went around. I don't care (as I'm sure most people) what his reasons were it was a horrific thing and when I heard the Epsom report I thought straight away it is the same thing.

For Clodagh, at least her husband has been exhumed and buried elsewhere so her and her children can RIP. I'm starting to cry now because Clodagh, Emma and their children should not have to RIP, their time for resting had not come

Then you really haven’t got your eyes and ears open.

their time for resting had not come

As if everything wasn’t heartbreaking enough, these words really got to me.

@Irishfarmer