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Original poster

Why is my friend trying to make out I'm crazy?

157 replies

ohdontthinkimnot · 31/01/2023 11:35

My friends boyfriend set me up with his friend.
The 4 of us went out twice and me and the guy hit it off.
He made it clear he wanted to spend time with me.
We went to a outdoor gig and it was cold but really fun.
Then it all got weird ...
He said he was going to get a drink and my friend said "oh she will hate you leaving her on her own,she will go crazy in a minute"
So he asks me "if I minded"
I told him of course not

Then my friend pipes up laughing
"She was asking if you were talking to any other women -she was so jealous when you mentioned your female friend"
"Crazy lucy came out to play"

It was normal chit chat like you do with your friends.
Then later she was back again with her "oh feb real Lucy will be out soon-your a bit stalkery aren't you"
So I snapped "what are you talking about"
She giggled "see this is the crazy coming out and laughed"

So we all went back to his and when they went to bed I said to him
"Maybe next time we leave her at home and just go out the both of us"
He looked confused and said "are you a bit crazy like she was saying? "
I said "I don't know what her issue is "

He has been a bit off with me since
Have I blown it?
Why did she do this ?
I feel like crying

OP posts:
hennythe100footbird · 31/01/2023 20:23

She sounds jealous!

I'd message or call, lay your cards on the table and then leave it to him. If he's interested, he'll act. Otherwise you've had a lucky escape from both of them x

itswednesdayy · 31/01/2023 20:23

This is so weird.

I can’t believe he’s been texting you daily since you met. Sorry but he’s clearly made his mind up about you imo and is keeping his distance. I wouldn’t keep texting him. This won’t flourish into a relationship, it’s already started off badly and he’ll always have that seed of doubt. Especially if his friends don’t like you. Dating isn’t supposed to be hard work like this, you don’t have to prove you’re not a psychopath.

Secondly, why did your mate say these things? Has anything happened in your past that led her to say this? She doesn’t seem upset that you’ve cut contact, normally friends would be apologetic.

PousseyNotMoira · 31/01/2023 20:24

ohdontthinkimnot · 31/01/2023 20:17

@PousseyNotMoira it's messing with my head
I think he won't meet up because of the situation and I think her words are playing in his head but then he texts me daily where he could of cut me off -so I just don't get it

He’s toying with you and it honestly doesn’t matter why. It’s not up to him. Like I said, block them both and move on with your life.

That’s it. It’s super straightforward. There’s no other interesting solution.

CombatBarbie · 31/01/2023 20:25

ohdontthinkimnot · 31/01/2023 20:17

@PousseyNotMoira it's messing with my head
I think he won't meet up because of the situation and I think her words are playing in his head but then he texts me daily where he could of cut me off -so I just don't get it

So tell him this, tell him your not pissing around anymore.

And then message her boyfriend "in jest" about how invested she appears to be with this guy

Mum2jenny · 31/01/2023 20:26

OP I’d bin your friend and her mate and meet new interesting people who do not judge you or assign random shit to you. She is NOT your friend in any shape or form.

girlywhirly · 31/01/2023 20:47

So this narcissistic manipulative woman has two men dancing to her tune. I think you are better off with none of them in your life. Your friend is happy to talk every day for his own benefit but not commit to any other kind of normal relationship with you, which is really unfair. Honestly, unless you move on you’ll never have a normal relationship.

CheekyHobson · 31/01/2023 21:05

I invited him out and he said yes then she caused a bit of drama and he changed his mind saying best if I don't. So we have spoken now daily for 5 and a half months so it's not like we are total strangers

You've got your answer, love. He enjoys the attention from you but when push comes to shove, he's not going to pick you. TBH I suspect he quite likes a bit of drama to play out around him, but doesn't want to actually exert any energy of his own.

Leave your toxic ex-friend and this wet blanket of a man to their weird little games and go find some people who can be authentically present in your life.

WhereYouLeftIt · 31/01/2023 21:26

ohdontthinkimnot · 31/01/2023 20:17

@PousseyNotMoira it's messing with my head
I think he won't meet up because of the situation and I think her words are playing in his head but then he texts me daily where he could of cut me off -so I just don't get it

Why on earth are you doing this to yourself? Block the little shit!

Honeyroar · 31/01/2023 21:38

Just seen your updates. What are you doing?? Why are you still playing this game. He didn’t step up. He listened to her. She must think it’s wonderful that you’re still sitting there hopefully when she’s pulling his strings. Why on Earth haven’t you blocked and moved on??

MrsMikeDrop · 31/01/2023 21:40

Wow, not your friend at all! Assuming she's jealous, but ditch her!

RedHelenB · 31/01/2023 22:03

ohdontthinkimnot · 31/01/2023 11:53

It would never work between me and him would it considering he is friends with her and partner ?
There would always be Agro wouldn't there ?

Tbf, I don't think he's really interested in you. But I'd have nothing to do with your " friend" again.

RedHelenB · 31/01/2023 22:12

ohdontthinkimnot · 31/01/2023 18:19

Why do you think he's been so quick to believe her?
Surely you would actually get to know a person without just listening to someone like that

Not necessarily, where someone has set up a blind date. I wouldn't want the drama either.

itswednesdayy · 31/01/2023 22:22

why did the couple even introduce you both if you’re apparently trouble? I don’t get that. Just setting you up to be badmouthed.

hunyouok · 31/01/2023 22:24

In this situation. Ditch them both. If he reaches out, great! If not forget the pair of them. She's not your friend.

January17 · 31/01/2023 22:26

To be honest, after the update, I do think it's a bit obsessive that you're still talking to him months later and so invested. You've only met him twice casually.

Join a dating app and meet some new people instead.

Original poster
ohdontthinkimnot · 31/01/2023 22:44

I wouldn't say it's "obsessive " it's a mutual thing
I'm not talking to myself

OP posts:
Original poster
ohdontthinkimnot · 31/01/2023 22:45

My friends boyfriend is lovely
It's my friend who was making all these digs and then laughing them off

OP posts:
PousseyNotMoira · 31/01/2023 22:49

End this. We’re not going to tell you anything different.

January17 · 31/01/2023 22:52

ohdontthinkimnot · 31/01/2023 22:44

I wouldn't say it's "obsessive " it's a mutual thing
I'm not talking to myself

You want to meet up and he doesn't. It's not mutual.

DuplicateUserName · 31/01/2023 23:03

You've posted about this a couple of times before, haven't you OP?

Bionesque · 31/01/2023 23:06

Therapy to improve your boundaries, OP.

People with poor boundaries tend to find themselves in the kind of situation you're in, because they cannot extricate themselves from circumstances that others with stronger boundaries find insane.

The fact that you're still entertaining this months down the line is simply not healthy.

DarkShade · 31/01/2023 23:25

Agree that you need to end this. If he was desperate to meet up with you, he would have. He's using the friend as an excuse. Move on, plenty more fish in the sea. Also don't talk to that friend again.

AnotherNameChangeYes · 01/02/2023 07:45

I’m not sure why you’re bothering. He won’t actually meet up with you. Move on.

Rainbowshine · 01/02/2023 08:03

I think you need to do some research on normal healthy relationships like looking at narcissistic behaviours and flying monkeys. Your “friend” is demonstrating that she thinks that she rules the world and everyone has to dance to her tune and the guy is an unwitting flying monkey doing her bidding.

You can do the freedom programme online I think, or have a good look at the book/website recommendations on the relationships board helping women leaving abusive partners.

Please stop thinking these people value you, they are toying with you and hurting you.

Itgoesalittlesomethinglikethis · 01/02/2023 08:13

Rainbowshine · 01/02/2023 08:03

I think you need to do some research on normal healthy relationships like looking at narcissistic behaviours and flying monkeys. Your “friend” is demonstrating that she thinks that she rules the world and everyone has to dance to her tune and the guy is an unwitting flying monkey doing her bidding.

You can do the freedom programme online I think, or have a good look at the book/website recommendations on the relationships board helping women leaving abusive partners.

Please stop thinking these people value you, they are toying with you and hurting you.

100% this. Look after yourself OP.