Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Why is my friend trying to make out I'm crazy?

157 replies

ohdontthinkimnot · 31/01/2023 11:35

My friends boyfriend set me up with his friend.
The 4 of us went out twice and me and the guy hit it off.
He made it clear he wanted to spend time with me.
We went to a outdoor gig and it was cold but really fun.
Then it all got weird ...
He said he was going to get a drink and my friend said "oh she will hate you leaving her on her own,she will go crazy in a minute"
So he asks me "if I minded"
I told him of course not

Then my friend pipes up laughing
"She was asking if you were talking to any other women -she was so jealous when you mentioned your female friend"
"Crazy lucy came out to play"

It was normal chit chat like you do with your friends.
Then later she was back again with her "oh feb real Lucy will be out soon-your a bit stalkery aren't you"
So I snapped "what are you talking about"
She giggled "see this is the crazy coming out and laughed"

So we all went back to his and when they went to bed I said to him
"Maybe next time we leave her at home and just go out the both of us"
He looked confused and said "are you a bit crazy like she was saying? "
I said "I don't know what her issue is "

He has been a bit off with me since
Have I blown it?
Why did she do this ?
I feel like crying

OP posts:
EzzieM · 31/01/2023 13:34

She is a total bitch.

Stop calling her your friend, she isn’t.

Absolutely have a cry, someone you thought was a close friend deliberately humiliated you in public for no reason and sabotaged your date. I’d cry!

Please never speak to or see her again, she is toxic.

Why did she do it? To show you your place. She wants you to be the sad lonely single friend at her beck and call. This makes her feel good. She is a nasty jealous person who can’t stand to see others happy. She was furious with her boyfriend for getting you a date and determined that it would fail. Why is she so threatened by the prospect of you being happy? Probably feels competitive with you, either you got better exam results or a better job or are better looking than her, I dunno but there will be some way in which she deep down thinks you’re better than her and she’s fighting to prove that wrong.

As for the guy 🤷‍♀️ probably nothing you can do now, it’s up to him and if he doesn’t want drama he won’t want to date his buddy’s girlfriend’s ex-friend. Also if he’s this easily scared off by such pathetic bitchiness from your friend, it would never have worked anyway, you can do better.

SamphiretheTervosaurReturneth · 31/01/2023 13:39

ohdontthinkimnot · 31/01/2023 12:38

He said to me he doesn't like drama in his life
The thing is the only one causing drama is her .....

Text him, her and her boyfriend and ask him to share the "Pycho/In jest" texts with no other comment and then block all of them.

She is NOT your friend. And her bf will need a friend at some point. So leave them all to it.

YOU deserve better than someone like her in your life.

wordler · 31/01/2023 13:43

Definitely bin the ‘friend’.

If you really like the guy just send him a message and say you don’t like drama either - you’ve no idea why ‘friend’ was behaving like that and if he’s interested in getting together just the two of you let you know.

If she carries on like this she’s going to expose herself as the crazy one anyway - she might not be with her boyfriend for long.

GloomyDarkness · 31/01/2023 13:43

ohdontthinkimnot · 31/01/2023 12:38

He said to me he doesn't like drama in his life
The thing is the only one causing drama is her .....

There are none so blind that will not see - basically he will either see how she is behaving or he doesn't you can't make him.

He showed me a text off her saying
"Hope you have a good date with the psycho if you choose to go out with her again "

This guy has literally showed you a text where your "friend" calls you a psycho - what response was he expecting - is he one of those people who hates drama but goes out of their way to create it?

She is awful but honestly really not sure he's that great either.

MoroccanRoseHChurch · 31/01/2023 13:43

Wow! You just gotta ghost this friend. There’s nothing you can say she won’t turn round and be like “oh look, crazy”

she may have blown things with you and this guy.

Don’t keep bringing it up it up with him. Hopefully he’ll get to you know and figure it out for himself in time.

HashtagShitShop · 31/01/2023 13:46

She's not your friend. One of four reasons:

She fancies him and is jealous.

She fancies you and is jealous.

She is jealous you're getting attention over her and doesn't want to lose your one on one attention under the guide of "friendship".

She's just a vicious little madam who enjoys putting people down or upsetting them "in jest". (aka I can insult or upset you but you can't do it to mee, nor can you pull me up on it or I'll twist it to make you look crazy like I said you were so he still won't want you).

There can't be any other answer given her reactions and words. They're not the words or actions of a friend. Whether or not things work with him do yourself a favour and dump her.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 31/01/2023 13:50

She's a frenemy and she's trying to sabotage your life imo
Does she normally try to put you down?
She's the Psycho not you.
A real friend would be pleased for you

StaunchMomma · 31/01/2023 13:53

That's not a friend, OP.

That's a bitch!

StaunchMomma · 31/01/2023 13:55

ohdontthinkimnot · 31/01/2023 12:38

He said to me he doesn't like drama in his life
The thing is the only one causing drama is her .....

I'd knock it on the head with both him and her BUT I'd make sure I fired a parting shot and make it clear that she has never in the past talked about you being 'crazy' etc and that you're genuinely wondering if she either fancies him as she was so desperate to ruin things.

It's really odd behaviour on her part.

Helenahandkart · 31/01/2023 13:59

She’s not your friend. She’s threatened by your popularity with this man. Either she likes him herself, or she has low self esteem, or she thinks her own boyfriend doesn’t like her enough, or all of these. She’s sabotaging your new relationship because she’s jealous and wants to be the most important girl in the room.
I had a friend do this to me once. She saw me getting attention from someone and she humiliated me in front of him out of jealousy. Told him lies about me to make me look ridiculous. I was gobsmacked. I stopped seeing her after that because I couldn’t trust her to be a real friend.

Starburst8 · 31/01/2023 14:03

God with friends like that who needs enemies?!
Bin them both, 1) she'll always be his friend and will always put doubt in his mind and 2) If he's going to believe everything she says without getting to know you properly then he's not worth the time or effort.

Liquorish · 31/01/2023 14:06

Send her a link to this thread to show her who the real psycho is and then drop her.

Campervangirl · 31/01/2023 14:10

I'd message him along the lines of:
"I have enjoyed meeting you and had hoped to see you again.
Friends comments regarding my character have come completely out of left field, I am not crazy, a stalker or a phsyco.
Friend has made several comments along these lines, I'm not sure why but have asked her why she's saying these things, she tells me she's just joking. I too don't want drama in my life so will not be seeing friend again and I wish you well for the future too"
Then block both of them, don't send your "friend" an explanation or she'll use it as ammo to show how crazy you are.
She's a bitch

BakewellGin1 · 31/01/2023 14:22

I had a friend like this (now no longer)

She was the same I met DH through her then DH - we started seeing each other and she would make the kind of comments about me being jealous, psycho, you know what she's like etc...
Every time we went out she would comment on what I was wearing etc

She also said she was 'having a laugh'

Imafirework · 31/01/2023 14:23

What a bitch!

He sounds like a drip too. If he liked you he would find out for himself what you are like.
Cut them both loose and find a friend who treats you like one.

user1498572889 · 31/01/2023 14:25

She isn't your friend. She is a nasty cow who sounds jealous of you.

Eastereggsboxedupready · 31/01/2023 14:31

Years ago I fancied a mate of my mate's ... She refused to give me his number or give him mine. Both single but she was with his mate. All drunk one night and they stayed at my house. Not her bf though. Heard them shagging all night.

Best off out of it op.

CombatBarbie · 31/01/2023 14:34

Wow..... She is not a friend. I'd cut her loose now.

As for him, yes you are right, the more you say the more it will make you look psycho.

Onwayoutsoon · 31/01/2023 14:36

ohdontthinkimnot · 31/01/2023 11:40

I think me trying to prove I'm not crazy has actually made me look crazy
He showed me a text off her saying
"Hope you have a good date with the psycho if you choose to go out with her again "

I pulled her up on it and she said "all in jest "

Wow! She is not your friend 😱

Peckhaminn · 31/01/2023 14:38

This has JEALOUSY written all over it. Trying to ruin it for you. Tell her to fuck off

BCBird · 31/01/2023 14:39

What a cow bag. I think.she probably does fancy him.i.presume she has never behaved like this before. If he is keen and u are see how things go,be yourself and let him.decidevwho is the physco.i think the fact that he showed u the text means he is questioning what she says. Good luck.

Original poster
ohdontthinkimnot · 31/01/2023 14:42

@BakewellGin1 she also does the comments on what I'm wearing too
Then the week after she will be wearing the same thing

OP posts:
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 31/01/2023 14:58

She's telling bare-faced lies about you and enjoying the effect it has on you, enjoying the fact that people are taking her at her words.
She's no friend. I wouldn't even give her the satisfaction of contacting her again, she will spin it into more drama and entertainment.

I guarantee it won't be long before her new BF will start to realise what she is like. And probably his friend too.

Consider this a lucky escape from any future antics from her.

ArrrMeHearties · 31/01/2023 15:03

That's no friend that's a complete and utter bellend of a woman. Cut her out ASAP she's the crazy one by the sounds of it not you

Paq · 31/01/2023 15:13

She's toxic