Why is my friend trying to make out I'm crazy?

[ohdontthinkimnot]

My friends boyfriend set me up with his friend.
The 4 of us went out twice and me and the guy hit it off.
He made it clear he wanted to spend time with me.
We went to a outdoor gig and it was cold but really fun.
Then it all got weird ...
He said he was going to get a drink and my friend said "oh she will hate you leaving her on her own,she will go crazy in a minute"
So he asks me "if I minded"
I told him of course not

Then my friend pipes up laughing
"She was asking if you were talking to any other women -she was so jealous when you mentioned your female friend"
"Crazy lucy came out to play"

It was normal chit chat like you do with your friends.
Then later she was back again with her "oh feb real Lucy will be out soon-your a bit stalkery aren't you"
So I snapped "what are you talking about"
She giggled "see this is the crazy coming out and laughed"

So we all went back to his and when they went to bed I said to him
"Maybe next time we leave her at home and just go out the both of us"
He looked confused and said "are you a bit crazy like she was saying? "
I said "I don't know what her issue is "

He has been a bit off with me since
Have I blown it?
Why did she do this ?
I feel like crying

She’s not your friend.

She sounds pathologically insecure and the only way she can feel good about herself is by putting people down. She’s green with envy whenever someone else has something or someone she wants.

OP, you aren’t benefitting in any way from continuing any kind of contact with her, just ignore and hide any messages/emails. Be busy if either of the men make contact to invite you anywhere.

All contact has been cut
I've been totally and utterly baffled by it all
I'm lucky I have other decent friends are all say the same -she's toxic
She's so convincing tho with her lies

THIS - IN SPADES!!
Drop them both. When the 2 blokes cotton on to what she is like and come crawling round tell them to Fuck off.

Just block her and keep her blocked.

Up until very recently, I never cut anyone off and had terrible boundaries. I started going to therapy after being in an abusive relationship, then realised I put up with two much from some friends too.

I had a gay male friend of 20+ years who developed a habit of saying very rude comments 'as jokes.'

He was absolutely shocked last time since I'd always said nothing and let him off with it. This time I responded "That was weirdly rude. I thought you were a friend." Then blocked.

I bumped into him a few weeks ago and he tried to speak. I said "No." and kept walking.

Maybe I'll speak to him in future but the dynamic he was comfortable in was cheering himself up by putting other people down.

Well done for blocking her and moving on. He can't be that bright if he can't see how nasty and out of the ordinary her behaviour is, so no loss there either. If you ever run into him again, just be your usual polite self and don't mention her unless he asks, in which case you can say (quite truthfully) that you had no idea she was suddenly going to make lots of spiteful comments and don't need that kind of drama in your life.

Wow. If being a bitch was an Olympic sport, she'd win hands down.

Regardless of your mental state you need to put as much distance between you and this so called friend as possible. She is toxic.

There will be other boys and hopefully they will not have any nasty comments ringing in their ears from your so called friend.

Honestly, do yourself a favour, tell her to fuck off and block all contact

She is a terrible person. And he's too ready to believe her.

Why do you think he's been so quick to believe her?
Surely you would actually get to know a person without just listening to someone like that

Is it possible he's a bit thick? It can happen

I guess he assumes his mate wouldn't be going out with a nasty person. And if his mate hasn't contradicted nasty gf, it might not occur to him she is talking shit. After all as you say, its an awfully weird thing to do.

So I d forget him, its not as if he was part of your life, but he is part of weird wtx friend and her bf's life so - you don't need the drama!

Not when you all sound immature & frankly slightly batshit - her for behaving the way she did, you for your reactions.

I personally don't think I reacted in a batshit way
This was someone who I regarded as a friend and her behaviour was barmy and I didn't understand any of it ...I'm not sure how anyone might actually react in that situation

The idea that this guy - who you’ve literally just met - might have gone off you appears to be really worrying you, though. Why?

Why do you think he's been so quick to believe her? Surely you would actually get to know a person without just listening to someone like that

Most people, when confronted with a situation that they're not heavily invested in (eg dating a new person) that shows signs of being the cause of drama (eg his friend's girlfriend suddenly starts saying the girl you're dating is crazy), will back away from the whole thing.

All your potential boyfriend can see is that it's possible that a) you're crazy or b) his mate's girlfriend has a major issue with you, and both of those things are likely to create drama in his life (which he doesn't like). He doesn't know which one it is and can't be bothered investing energy in finding out.

He's going to prioritise keeping his friendship with his mate drama-free over continuing to date someone he has only recently met.

Nothing to do with you personally, so I wouldn't take it personally.

This was 4 months ago now
We haven't seen each other in 2 months but he still texts me daily.
At first he was trying to be peace maker but she shut it down and now he's backed off
I invited him out and he said yes then she caused a bit of drama and he changed his mind saying best if I don't
So we have spoken now daily for 5 and a half months so it's not like we are total strangers
We have also since spoken on phone

Big drip feed...

She’s jealous! And horrible.

Er, this is a bit different to his the situation was presented in the OP. And much stranger. You’ve spoken daily for half a year (why?), but he’s refusing to meet up because your friend kicked off?

With kindness, this situation is ridiculous. What are you doing and why? Stop engaging with these people. Tell him to stop texting you, block them both and move on with your life.

Maybe you play that bitch at her own games and make a few comments in jest to her boyfriend about how lovely it is that your friend takes such a lot of interest in his friend, and how cute she is with him.

She’s clearly jealous and fancies him. She’s no friend to you. I’d ruin it for her on the way out.

@PousseyNotMoira it's messing with my head
I think he won't meet up because of the situation and I think her words are playing in his head but then he texts me daily where he could of cut me off -so I just don't get it

@ohdontthinkimnot cut the little boy out too. He clearly has no backbone if he likes you, but is being put off by little miss muffet.

The best thing you can do in this situation is cut them all off and concentrate on your real friends and a viable relationship.