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Original poster

Do you and your partner share a bed?

140 replies

NCTDN · 28/01/2023 23:11

So this week dh has been poorly so I've slept in the spare bed so that we both have a chance of getting some sleep. The problem is that I'm quite happy and could stay like this.
Is that really bad? I'm going through the menopause and have no interest in anything physical which probably is influencing my opinion atm, but how normal is this?

OP posts:
AHelpfulHand · 28/01/2023 23:18

It’s a slippery slope in my opinion.

we have a super king bed and there’s plenty of room in it.

greenspaces4peace · 28/01/2023 23:19

lots of new house plans have two master bedrooms.
sleeping separately is not necessarily a negative if the relationship is healthy in other way.
i have a massive king size bed...i don't feel his tossing and turning. no snoring issues yet.

Bettyboop3 · 28/01/2023 23:19

We haven't shared a bed for 24 years. No way would i want the snoring back keeping me awake night after night.

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Blackeyesbluetears · 28/01/2023 23:20

We don't. I struggled to adjust but now we happily don't share. I've had a few health issues. We have different sleep patterns. I sleep on a comfy mattress on my autistic sons bedroom floor. It's better because if he wakes alone he will scream for hours. We get more.rest this way. I do now enjoy my own space and it's possibly helped our relationship

AlmondBake · 28/01/2023 23:22

No we don't. DH snores badly. I sleep badly. Not a great combination. Sleep is too important to physical and mental health to have it disrupted night after night.

DarkNecessities · 28/01/2023 23:22

We not only share a bed, we always go to bed together at the same time

44PumpLane · 28/01/2023 23:23

Nope......I feel we are a lot happier now we both get enough kip! You can still have the intimacy, you just also get some kip too!

KohlaParasaurus · 28/01/2023 23:24

Yes, sharing a bed works well for us.

Chesneyhawkes1 · 28/01/2023 23:25

No we don't. He snores and tosses and turns. We both work different shifts etc.

I moved to the spare room when he had a cold and slept so much better, so I stayed there.

His alarm used to go off at 3am when I wasn't due to get up til 6am and he'd snooze it 3/4 times. I'd be wide awake and livid 🤦‍♀️

Original poster
NCTDN · 28/01/2023 23:28

Glad it's not just me.

OP posts:
Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 28/01/2023 23:30

Nope don't share mainly cause I'm cosleeping the baby and sometimes our other child comes in my bed too.. but DH snores like mad and I can hear him all down the hall so I'm dreading is sharing again. I'd rather not!

StrawberryMuffins · 28/01/2023 23:32

No, separate rooms suits us perfectly.

The only downside is that DH ends up both sleeping and working in our smallest bedroom, which feels a bit silly when we have a whole 4 bed house.

RosesAndHellebores · 28/01/2023 23:34

I don't sleep very well without him in the bed. However, king sized bed and when I was menopausal someone recommended having two separate single duvets instead of one double. It was a game changer.

BamBamBilla · 28/01/2023 23:37

Yes always. We only have a standard double so I'd like a bigger bed next time but we don't really disturb each other.

SirenSays · 28/01/2023 23:39

Yes always, I've never even banished him to the sofa for a night. Thankfully he doesn't snore, that would drive me mad

PopGoesTheProsecco · 28/01/2023 23:43

DarkNecessities · 28/01/2023 23:22

We not only share a bed, we always go to bed together at the same time

Us too. We can’t sleep well without the other one being there.

Realise it’s not the same for everyone though.

Pyewhacket · 28/01/2023 23:47

I’ve been sharing a bed with my husband since I was 19. I would miss that closeness and I enjoy sex, a lot !.

Sexypyjamas · 28/01/2023 23:49

PopGoesTheProsecco · 28/01/2023 23:43

Us too. We can’t sleep well without the other one being there.

Realise it’s not the same for everyone though.

Show quote history

We do too on a normal day, unless a DC is ill, like tonight.

Tanfastic · 28/01/2023 23:49

We swap and change. We both snore so 1 or 2 nights a week we take turns to sleep in the spare room so we both get a good Kip. Occasionally I just get in there anyway if he goes up before me and I'm not tired and want to read in bed, then I don't wake him.

OnBoardTheHeartOfGold · 28/01/2023 23:50

We share a bed but not a duvet.
I love having my own duvet and would love my own room. Not because I don't want dh but I love the windows open the night. I find the noises of the night wonderful and soothing and love feeling the breeze blowing in.
Dh hates windows open and one of us has to compromise, depending on weather and hay fever season.
Plus I want to read freely with the lamp on if I feel like it and not have an annoying screen light next to me if I want to sleep.
Sigh. The more I think about it...

SunsetStrip · 28/01/2023 23:53

This comes up every few months on MN and loads say they don't share, I don't know anyone in RL (obviously of people I know well enough), who don't share. Dh and I share a double bed, I have no interest in not sharing. Each to our own though.

Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse · 28/01/2023 23:55

Yes, sleep so much better when together. Been together since we were 18 and still enjoy chatting, cuddling, back rubs and being intimate.

AlmondBake · 28/01/2023 23:56

SunsetStrip · 28/01/2023 23:53

This comes up every few months on MN and loads say they don't share, I don't know anyone in RL (obviously of people I know well enough), who don't share. Dh and I share a double bed, I have no interest in not sharing. Each to our own though.

Is it something you discuss in real life though? I don't discuss our sleeping arrangements with friends.

PopGoesTheProsecco · 28/01/2023 23:57

OnBoardTheHeartOfGold · 28/01/2023 23:50

We share a bed but not a duvet.
I love having my own duvet and would love my own room. Not because I don't want dh but I love the windows open the night. I find the noises of the night wonderful and soothing and love feeling the breeze blowing in.
Dh hates windows open and one of us has to compromise, depending on weather and hay fever season.
Plus I want to read freely with the lamp on if I feel like it and not have an annoying screen light next to me if I want to sleep.
Sigh. The more I think about it...

This made me chuckle as I complain that he has the window open all night and he complains that I nick the duvet.

applecatchers36 · 28/01/2023 23:59

Yes we share a bed and would not sleep well apart. Even with co-sleeping, breastfeeding babies we were all together. Thankfully we mostly have our bed back now.

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