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Original poster

Do you and your partner share a bed?

140 replies

NCTDN · 28/01/2023 23:11

So this week dh has been poorly so I've slept in the spare bed so that we both have a chance of getting some sleep. The problem is that I'm quite happy and could stay like this.
Is that really bad? I'm going through the menopause and have no interest in anything physical which probably is influencing my opinion atm, but how normal is this?

OP posts:
Onwayoutsoon · 30/01/2023 08:47

Hottoffeesauce · 29/01/2023 05:51

No, we don't share a bed and haven't, very happily for about15 years! It's bliss! We are in love, we are intimate, we are great friends but we are not compatible sleepers - so why share a bed? I am so glad we are not one of those couples who can only function 'as one' - I find this very odd. We go to bed whenever we want to, have the window open/closed to suit each of us, go to the loo in the night without worrying about disturbing the other etc. Restful, calm, relaxing sleep is absolutely vital for good health and happiness and not to be compromised just to fulfil a stereotype that we 'ought' to sleep together and can't possibly have a good relationship if we don't. It's different for each couple and you must do what works for you!

I could have written this !

Original poster
NCTDN · 30/01/2023 21:13

Have it in their bed and leave them with the wet patch.

Great thinkingGrin

OP posts:
Vinomummyinlockdown · 03/02/2023 19:58

AyeCarrumba · 30/01/2023 02:18

You don't know what other people do. They might not tell you.

Show quote history

exactly!! Not one of our friends knows we sleep in separate rooms. It’s not exactly a conversation piece nor is it anyone’s business so quite frankly you probably have no idea who’s doing what.

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Menopause Women's health
Blip · 03/02/2023 20:11

We have our own rooms and have done for years. Everyone does better with better quality sleep. If you have to share a bed definitely get a superking.

MaryJean87 · 03/02/2023 20:14

I fall asleep on my husband's chest while he strokes my back every single night before I wake up and spread out. I was a single mum for years and dreading sharing a bed again as I was used to sprawling out but now it's the opposite and I feel weird when he's not there.

ithoughtisawapuddycat · 03/02/2023 20:16

The only time we can sleep in the same bed and sleep well is at my parents as they created a super king from two singles in the spare room. As long as we have ear plugs we're fine as we can't feel each other move and we can temperature control well.

At home we sleep in different bedrooms - DH is always so hot and snores, I toss and turn and we're both light sleepers. Also I like to fall asleep with the TV on. DH also gets up a lot earlier than me and does some shift work.

Thankfully the two biggest rooms are identical in size and both have king beds in so no-one is hard done by.

We both sleep so well and we've been that way for about 10 years.

Friarclose · 03/02/2023 23:34

Nope, stopped when we got our puppy 18 months ago. She cried when alone, DH is one of those who doesn't need much sleep, I'm the opposite. So he started sleeping downstairs with her, it was meant to be temporary but is now permanent and our marriage is great, I get to go to bed when I want and spread out, he gets to game until 1am, we're both happy as Larry, and our sex life is unaffected. We're both 40, together 10 years.

MsSquiz · 03/02/2023 23:48

We don't at the moment thanks to me being unwell, DD1 being unwell so in the spare room with me and DH snoring. DH also does the night feeds for DD2 so it's not like he's getting a full nights sleep while o deal with children.
Hopefully it won't be long until I'm back in our bed again, but I have just bought new pillows and bedding for the spare room, and all of my toiletries and towels, etc are on the en suite rather than our room/our en suite

FavouriteSlippers · 03/02/2023 23:50

Yes i cannot sleep if hes not in there. If he swaps with a dc if they are ill. Im awake all night.

Hups · 04/02/2023 00:04

Only when he's at home, which is rare.

HerbalTeaAndCake · 04/02/2023 07:37

We have kids, and mainly have sex outside of the bedroom,

@Oigetoffmylawn where do you have sex? In the kitchen, garden, bathroom?

HerbalTeaAndCake · 04/02/2023 07:38

HerbalTeaAndCake · 04/02/2023 07:37

We have kids, and mainly have sex outside of the bedroom,

@Oigetoffmylawn where do you have sex? In the kitchen, garden, bathroom?

(Sorry am just nosey!)

gamerchick · 04/02/2023 10:27

HerbalTeaAndCake · 04/02/2023 07:37

We have kids, and mainly have sex outside of the bedroom,

@Oigetoffmylawn where do you have sex? In the kitchen, garden, bathroom?

Does that mean you've only ever fucked in a bed? Howay, have a bit of imagination.

Echobelly · 04/02/2023 10:30

We try to, but getting less and less possible due do DH's snoring (and earplugs give me an allergic reaction). Might be able to manage it again more if he loses some weight and hopefully tha might stop it!

SadSunshine · 04/02/2023 10:55

We don't. Extremely stressful sleeping together due to my snoring and him
Being a very light sleeper. I was always stressed and scared to fall asleep before he did when we did. We're much happier having our own beds. Definitely a happy marriage. The kids climb in with me though 😂

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