Do you and your partner share a bed?

[NCTDN]

So this week dh has been poorly so I've slept in the spare bed so that we both have a chance of getting some sleep. The problem is that I'm quite happy and could stay like this.
Is that really bad? I'm going through the menopause and have no interest in anything physical which probably is influencing my opinion atm, but how normal is this?

We don't share a bed. DH likes to go to bed early and read. He also snores. I am a light sleeper.
Sleep is too important to compromise.

When we had Covid I slept in the spare room as we were both sneezing etc. I loved it. Slept through, for a change. But he likes having me there so now am back with him and he wakes me up, nicks the duvet,forgets to turn phone off so it pings, etc. Also we differ over window open/closed.
Also, I stopped having hot flushes at night when I slept alone. Now they're back. I'm convinced they are linked to stress.
I am thinking about sleeping separately a couple of times a week.

No because I snore. We have a very happy relationship in every other way. I set a cuddle alarm every morning and we start the day with ten minutes of cuddles. We both sleep better during the week then at weekends we share a bed.

There's a definite 50:50 split here and interestingly it seems to be the men who prefer to share.
I do agree about a generation thing. My dad snores so loud that you can hear it outside yet my mum still shares a bed despite there being two other beds in the house!

We haven't shared a bed consistently since ds2 was born over 6 years ago. DH snores and leg twitches and I have perimenopausal night sweats and insomnia! Also DH occasionally has to get up for work at 4.30-5am like tomorrow so he sleeps in the spare bed then too. Sometimes we manage a night in our king size bed but more often than not one of us has moved out during the night. Sleep is too important!

Have it in their bed and leave them with the wet patch. Although I find it really strange that people leave sex until bedtime. Get some imaginations going on.

This question always boggles me. It's not the death of anything, it doesn't affect intimacy, unless you're a supremely lazy fucker. You can still do all of the things. You just sleep in another bed. It's just sleep, it's king.

You might know me. I don't talk about our sleeping arrangements to anyone!

We have a master bedroom which appears as though we share (because we take turns to sleeping it) but we don't share.

I also found out this week that my best friend and her partner don't share a bed and haven't for several years. I had no idea!

So no OP, we don't share. DH snores and since having kids sleep has become a lynch pin for my mental health. We make sure we have plenty of sex though!

We haven’t shared a bed regularly for about 15 years (out of 24 years together) because of his snoring and I have to have silence to sleep. I can even hear him snoring through my earplugs!
We have sex at least 4 times a week and we kiss/hug a lot too (on sofa watching tv or in kitchen whilst cooking etc).
But in theory I’d love to share a bed with him but it makes me anxious and grumpy with him for something outside of his control which isn’t fair.

The box room is ‘my’ bedroom. I sometimes feel a bit claustrophobic but DH insists on heating on at night and I like a colder room and window open. I also can’t sleep due to DH snoring.

I had to share a hotel room with DH recently and didn’t get a wink of sleep. I was on the floor due to his tossing and that wasn’t the worst of it. We go on holiday and DD and I have one room and DH another. Last holiday I went on and we stayed in same room we nearly ended up divorced as I was so exhausted and at my wits end so it is a lot cheaper (than divorce) to have separate rooms!

We eat together round a table every day, talk, go out for meals, so not anti-social, but I just wouldn’t have the energy to do that if I had to share the same bed. We are fortunate we have the option to do this.

Quite normal for us.

DH snores like nothing else I’ve ever heard. I used to move beds partway though every night, then when DS was born I moved to the spare bed with him and never went back.

Now we are older, we are hot/cold/restless, and both prefer our own bed. Also, DH has bought the world’s most uncomfortable mattress, so I will never sleep in the big bed again.

Nope and I bloody love it. Sleep is important to me! We both snore, he's a fucking fidget, I want cool with window open (peri) he doesn't.

I mean I do like it when DP spends the night away, but I don’t mind sharing a bed. We have separate duvet covers though, have done for over 15 years. The best thing I ever did, DP would roll up like a mummy and I’d wake up and find myself without covers, freezing cold.

This.

Often, I'm also up and down to go to the loo and he moves around in his sleep something chronic.

We do. I love going to sleep with dh stroking my back. He loves the intimacy too. He'd be devastated if I said I wanted separate rooms.

BUT if you have young Dc/one of you snores, I can see why separate rims would work.

We sleep together and miss each other if we don't, although he does get on the couch sometimes (sleepwalker and sleepeater!)

If one of the kids is sick they get in with me and husband sleeps elsewhere.

Our mattress was making his sciatica worse and we waited around 4-5 weeks for our new one to be delivered - so slept seaparately (him on the floor mainly!). It was hard for us and we struggled with not being close at bedtime. Although his snoring is starting to make me want to smother him so maybe this will change in favour of not sleeping next to a fucking elephant.

Each to their own, I do know couples who sleep separately and are fine and not on a slipper slope - in fact one just announced their wedding date!

I do have kids.

we Make sure they are asleep first though.

@Lolarosemama

Yes have 2 children

Six years since we shared apart from in hotels and those situations remind us both how much we prefer separate rooms !

Hubby likes to watch TV in bed til late and gets up about 6am and snores terribly. He has a two tog duvet on his bed year round too which is frankly ridiculous

I like a quiet bedroom , I get the en suite so it works better as I need to use toilet a lot overnight due to stoma and often am awake for periods overnight which would disturb him and I wouldn’t appreciate him waking me at six either

Not at the moment but I miss it. Started sleeping separately when I was late stages of pregnancy as I was so uncomfy and neeed space . Baby was born and we went back to the same bed but now I co sleep with the baby as it’s the only way he will sleep so hubby in spare room now. Looking forward to getting him back as it is strange x

You don't know what other people do. They might not tell you.

Just DTD then go to your own rooms!

Yep. I wanted to murder DH not shag him, when he kept me awake all night snoring!

We have kids, and mainly have sex outside of the bedroom, but our kids are young and in bed by 8pm.

To be honest, we have more sex now than when we shared a bed. I don't enjoy late night sex, I'm too tired. It was an area of resentment actually and by taking sex outside of the bedroom has really helped.

I’m surprised at how many posters do sleep separately but wonder if it’s because they’re the posters who are replying to the OP.

We’re lucky that we have the same sleep patterns and neither of us snore I suppose. Both ‘still’ when we sleep too.

We have been through some traumas over the past few years and have an agreement that if we can’t sleep, we wake the other. I little chat or just a cuddle relaxes us both and we can usually drift off again.

“I am so glad we are not one of those couples who can only function 'as one' - I find this very odd”

“It's different for each couple and you must do what works for you!”

Make your mind up