What am I doing wrong at the weekend?

[Mybloodycat]

Just to start, I am a single mum and I work almost full time and I am too poor for cleaners/ironing ladies etc

What am I doing wrong at the weekend?

I have spent today working solidly to catch up, shopping, cleaning, washing (loads of washing despite also washing in the week), ironing (loads of ironing), batch cooking some stuff, just endless, I’ve been on the go since 8am.
Tomorrow I have a shit load more to do, and it’s all stuff I need to do just to keep us functioning.

Everyone I know is off doing things, lots of people are out at weekends with their kids then have nights out planned.
Despite cleaning through the week and washing through the week, my weekend is still full of this shit.

I don’t seem to have any time for myself at all.

I’m shattered and I know something has to give. I don’t have massively high standards, but I do need to clean, and my clothes always need ironing, no matter how I hang them. I’ve done loads of ironing today and obviously I need to shop. I know I could swap to online shopping but I often need the reduced section as I am on quite a budget, so I like to go myself.

Any tips? How do you all free up your weekends?

Why are you doing so much laundry and why do you need to iron?

What are you batch cooking?

Also, how old is your child?

I have three children, all of whom wear a school shirt each day.
They are 6/10/14

I iron their uniforms because no matter what I do they look badly creased otherwise. I used to use my tumble dryer (back when it was affordable) but we are in a small house so drying places are limited so I can’t wash more stuff until some is already dry, so it builds up.

I batch cook when I can because it makes the rest of my life easier eventually, because then I can do dinner really quickly

I’m the same so no answer. Seems all I ever do is what you’ve listed, I’m constantly chasing my tail with no time for me at all. I only have 1 child too (& a dog).

Could you get the 14yo to help? Even if it’s polishing, vacuuming?

Feel for you- all my friends are out places & I’m like how??

Not a single parent, but when I was working almost full time and my DH was working a lot more, this was pretty much my life. I really should have had a cleaner or something. And as you say, you can't. So it's pants, but you're not doing anything wrong. You're "just" doing the work of two people. But if they're not smelly, don't do a clean shirt for them every day

Do you iron / clean in your evenings?
I’ve been out doing things today- kids go to bed shortly and there’s two loads of laundry to iron- fun sat night!

14 year old can iron their own uniform surely? And if they don't, tbh I'd just let it be creased. I wouldn't be ironing a 6 year old's school uniform. But I do have low standards when it comes to ironing - I iron almost nothing.

Have them wear everything but pants and socks two days unless it's visibly dirty. Get the kids to help with jobs.

Bless you - you sound under a lot of pressure. I'm not sure how you're fixed financially but could you economise on food in other ways so you could move to an online shop - say by eating more veggie food say? Also how about really simplifying the evening meal on a couple of nights just to give you a bit more breathing space? Beans / cheese / eggs on toast may be a bit basic but they're fine nutritionally x

I’m a bit anal about ironing. I don’t iron lots but I do iron the uniforms. They only change their shirt each day, and I do try to last them a bit, but I feel a bit manky doing that if I’m honest.

They help, but it’s kids helping. They hung some washing on my dryer today and it’s shit, I’ve had to move it all, and tbh it takes so much asking to get it done that I lose the will to live.
They could probably do more, but it’s so slow with them and they are also shattered from school.

I feel like I spend my life saying “if I can just do this now then I won’t have to do it on X day” but then more stuff appears.

I do iron in the week usually, but it’s taking so long to dry stuff that it’s not as simple as it was.

Im guessing stuff is hung over radiators straight from the machine so is seriously creased. Also ironing helps ensure 100% dry. So I understand why you feel you have to do it. I would stop doing 14 yos though, they can do it and its doing them a favour to have that responsibility

However if you can get stuff on a line outside the wind rwally does help take out the creases.

10 yo can definitely do some of this as well, certainly sorting everyone's clean clothes, tidying and setting table etc.

I don't think my kids had clean shirts daily till puberty, but they did weardark blue polos at primary school which probably helped.

Could you free up time at the weekend by having one less cooked meal,have a 'bits' snacky supper on Friday for eg?

I feel for you you are clearly doing an incredible job.

One night a week we do beans on toast and another night is pasta night.

I find with the youngest I have to do the readings/spelling practice all week, then help with homework.

I just don’t get where my time is going. I go to work then I just come home and do more work.

My washing machine broke a couple of weeks ago and a couple of friends did my washing and drying and it was just so lovely to be free from that for a few days.

Really I need a cleaner, and I need to use my Tumble dryer but I can’t really do either

Waiting for the kids to learn is an investment. It is painful I know, but try to stick it out!

I genuinely thought no one ironed these days… apart from my mother in law!

Why are you ironing? Scrap it off, that would save you lots of time.

They help, but it’s kids helping. They hung some washing on my dryer today and it’s shit, I’ve had to move it all, and tbh it takes so much asking to get it done that I lose the will to live.

A 14 year old can 100% hang up some washing in a competent way.

Could you make every other Saturday or Sunday a "no chores" day so you can use if for days out/just to slob/you time.

Wouldn't bother ironing primary aged uniform. aren't they wearing jumpers or cardigans over their shirts anyway? Secondary I can just about see might need an iron but tbh I bought non iron stuff from M&S tumbled it for a short time then hung on hangers whilst still a bit damp in front of an open top window.

@Mybloodycat

It's being a single mum. I have 3 DC & am one too. Work f/t. My kids do crazy amounts of sport meaning I'm out of the house early in the morning till late & any other time is spent on housework. I'm shattered to my core.

You are not doing anything wrong. Sympathies.

Most schools have polo shirts these days . They only need a quick run over. I work in primary and honestly clean is more important than ironed! Give yourself a break.

Do you think you might be struggling to compromise a bit re: your own standards/ expectations? I really don't mean this rudely though. I'm a shocking perfectionist and make life very hard for myself sometimes x

It's not a solution (as you are doing this anyway) but trying to do a bit each weekday helps a little. I get up v early to exercise, so no time then, but I stayed up later this week & ironed each night & it did help.

And although I sacrificed some sleep, I slept better knowing I was a bit organised.

I can't afford it now but as soon as I can I'll get someone to iron & do some other tasks - I like cleaning & can generally do this but plan to group bigger jobs & eventually get some help with this.

My DC all help a lot but there's still a lot that falls to me.

Also how many shirts are they wearing a week? Mine( now adult would wear one Mon to Wed then change) they don’t need a clean shirt every day. You don’t need to clean every day. Just keep clean as you go. Hoover once a week, clean bathrooms once a week. Sweep the kitchen floor daily and cleans surfaces daily.

You really need to stop with the ironing, I haven’t picked up an iron in 20 years and I’m pretty certain most people can’t tell. And if they did, I really don’t care.

They don’t need a clean shirt every day unless they’ve spilt something down it, so get them to change into scruffs when they get home. If you used your dryer, you wouldn’t have to iron. If anything is creased or smells a bit, get a cheap hand-held steamer or a de-crease spray. It’s your kids’ homework, not yours; the teacher needs to see what they can do themselves, so stop that right now. Nothing wrong with an omelette or soup or beans on toast for tea. You do not have to live in a show home. Just try and relax a bit! [Flowers].

I know you’ve said you can’t afford it but when mine dcs were young I used the tumble dryer for their school clothes. I found it cost effective to buy uniform I could tumble dry then I didn't need to iron it. The saving on ironing was worth it.
The 14 year old can help. Mine were taught to put their dirty washing in separate linen bins depending on the colour from a young age, that saved time.
In fairness I too found myself constantly washing, cooking, cleaning and running around after the children I’ve never had a cleaner do I know how you feel.

Sometimes, if my laundry gets out of control, I shove it all in an ikea bag and go to the launderette. That way I can do several loads at once and the dryers are super quick.
Could that be an option?