What am I doing wrong at the weekend?

[Mybloodycat]

Just to start, I am a single mum and I work almost full time and I am too poor for cleaners/ironing ladies etc

What am I doing wrong at the weekend?

I have spent today working solidly to catch up, shopping, cleaning, washing (loads of washing despite also washing in the week), ironing (loads of ironing), batch cooking some stuff, just endless, I’ve been on the go since 8am.
Tomorrow I have a shit load more to do, and it’s all stuff I need to do just to keep us functioning.

Everyone I know is off doing things, lots of people are out at weekends with their kids then have nights out planned.
Despite cleaning through the week and washing through the week, my weekend is still full of this shit.

I don’t seem to have any time for myself at all.

I’m shattered and I know something has to give. I don’t have massively high standards, but I do need to clean, and my clothes always need ironing, no matter how I hang them. I’ve done loads of ironing today and obviously I need to shop. I know I could swap to online shopping but I often need the reduced section as I am on quite a budget, so I like to go myself.

Any tips? How do you all free up your weekends?

Normal. You are carrying the load of two people. No answer but I understand the load. Can your children be given tasks?

Dehumidifier if you can afford it, my mum has one and says clothes dry overnight. Online food shop, go to laundrette with all the bedding once a fortnight, even if it's just to dry it there, same with towels. Only iron your work clothes. Definitely go out at the weekend, when the housework gets on top of me and it feels like it's never ending I go out with the kids and feel so much more energised and ready to tackle it when I get back. Have you considered a one off clean to get on top of things, if you know a friend or colleague that has a cleaner they might be able to do a one off big clean for you.

Your kids have to help! Have you tried sitting them down and having a serious conversation with them about chores?
The 14 year old should do all the ironing of school uniforms. Try to find a way to avoid ironing anything else. Just grit your teeth until they get better at it.
Then 10 year old does the dishes every night with 6 year old helping dry.
You could also tell them you need help and make a weekly list, on Sunday you each take turns picking something from the list till they're gone, and whatever someone picks is their responsibility for the week.
Everyone plays the "wrong room" game, every time you leave the room you take something with you that belongs somewhere else. If you get caught empty handed, some kind of penalty (stand on one foot for a minute, dollar in the jar etc)

Other posters are right, it's an investment! You are doing so well, I think you have some blissful weekends in your future.

Same here. Always trying to keep on top of the house. Don’t have the time or money to do all of the fun things in life. Don’t know how others are doing it (actually, their parents are finding them in most cases).

Yes you’re quite right. Certainly at 10 & 14 I would expect some help.

My 6yo DD ‘help’ actually makes more work, but definitely the older 2.

All your children should be helping.
There is no need to iron. We just hang shirts up, buttons done, on coat hangers. We don’t have a tumble dryer.

Funding, obvs.

I've stopped ironing unless it's really necessary have you seen how much it costs in electricity. I take clothes out of the washing machine as soon as it stops and hang on the maiden. if dc wear a school jumper then it doesn't matter if shirts are creased as they won't see them my dd has a pleated skirt but pleats seem to stay in well and it looks neat if hung straight away. I don't miss spending 3-4 hours on a Sunday with a huge pile of ironing. can you food shop on a weekday evening to free up a weekend day? older kids are old enough to help out with some chores.

hang shirts etc on a hanger on a curtain rail and they will dry crease free .I only ever use my tumble dryer to put on for 2 minutes to ensure previously hung up clothes are dry. I never use it for towels.

I’d agree with the PP

I’m a bit anal about ironing. I don’t iron lots but I do iron the uniforms. They only change their shirt each day, and I do try to last them a bit, but I feel a bit manky doing that if I’m honest.

and I also think your standards are too high

If uniforms are hung straight up they really shouldn’t need ironing. Who cares if they look a bit rumpled, they do by lunch time anyway.

I DO think this lifestage is really tough, so I don’t think there is any magic wand, you just have to drop your standards and shave bits off, and get the kids doing stuff - it will be a bit crap to start but they can learn.

If you can jiggle things to manage an online shop that will save some time

It is really tough but it won’t last (do be tougher on your kids though, or they will be a PITA when they are living with you as young adults.)

Some really brutal decluttering will also help.

Also bribery with teens. Do you give her some pocket money? Make it an allowance dependant on jobs, you can also make treats/snacks dependant on jobs.

Stick up a big jobs chart for you all.

Also try not to be so hard on yourself, you are doing a great job.

I’d start using the dryer to make life easier, I also buy my teenager non crease shirts that I got from Matalan etc I also never iron her clothes and my youngest I hardly ever iron his unless it’s super creased. I find it easier doing washing every evening and drying it so on a Saturday I spend about 15 mins sorting out who’s pile of clothes is who’s. I don’t fold any of children’s clothes. Make 10 and 14yr old do that. Maybe start using a slow cooker in the mornings using reduced veg and a meat, then dinners ready when you get in and no more batch cooking. I make both my kids (4 and 13) help with tidying/pots/taking out rubbish, polishing etc because I’ve been work this morning and came home and lounged all evening and tomoz I’ll have nothing but bedding to sort. Hope this helps x

Could you get a heated airer? They’re not expensive to run, but it may help dry the clothes quickly and help with the creases?
Could you set up a chores timetable for the kids and explain that if they do them, you can all do something a couple of times a month?

Also a tip I put clothes in washer in morning and teen will put in dryer when she gets in from school

Or would a steamer be easier and quicker to use instead of an iron -if you really must?

Some weeks I move the ironing to a weeknight evening, make a nice drink & iron in front of the TV - somehow it feels less of a chore

Also I would relook at getting your groceries delivered - it will save you hours.

• allow you to bulk buy more then you could carry
• you can stick to your shopping list 100% & not get swayed into other purchases
• also you can search on value/smart price and get the full range rather then being limited to the stock in one store

Honestly I'm in awe of you working full time and parenting three kids. No useful advice, but don't compare yourself to others unfavourably. You are 1 person doing all of the housework and life tasks for 4 people.

Yes to all this! I love Barta House. I am currently decluttering and already see a difference in the time I spend cleaning and tidying! It's life changing!

I rarely iron.
DH irons his work shirts.
DS1 (8) and DD (5) wear polo shirts and sweatshirts for school. DS 2 (3) is at nursery- no uniform.
I never iron bedding, towels, tea towels and most other clothing. I dry stuff on hangers or the washing line or a clothes airer in a spare bedroom.
Only iron smarter stuff- tops, work outfits and only if I have to.
Bathroom and kitchen are cleaned as we use them- kitchen surfaces cleared and cleaned and dishwasher loaded, bathroom cleaned while bath filling, every day.

I keep the freezer full so there is no faffing on during the week about tea.
Hoover twice a week.Wash kitchen, bathroom and wooden floors weekly. Dust weekly - DC like dusting. DS1 cleans kitchen table cloth with spray after tea at night.
No cleaner.

It's hard work and I have DH who does lots, and I work 3 or 4 days a week. I don't think I could do it all and work full-time.

I also think a Crock-Pot might be your friend here. Instead of batch cooking on the weekends you could assemble some Crock-Pot friendly meals in big zipper bags and then put them in either the fridge or the freezer. Then in the morning just dump it into the crock pot and start it and it'll be ready when you get home. It would take less time overall than doing the actual cooking of a bunch of meals on the weekends.

Someone recommended to me hang up shirts straight from the washing machine, and hang the bathroom when you have a steamy bath or shower, apparently the creases drop out. I'm yet to try it, but sounds promising.

Ironing here is done on a Monday night we have enough shirts to make that possible (at least 6 dd2 has a few more cause of hand-me downs) I don't really iron any other uniform unless I've not managed to hang a skirt.

I often do a load of washing Friday evening so I can get it out then or in the morning. Shirts are worn once but go on a quick wash Saturday am then hung either line or hangers inside.

Dc 9&11 put all their washing away, strip/make own beds and I'm teaching them to unload the machine making sure they shake everything as they unload. They are responsible for returning washing baskets to their correct places. They do complain/winge/sulk about it at times but I always persevere (dd2 is the main culprit 🙄 ).

My weekends are pretty similar OP so a I get it. It’s no fun.

If clean, ironed shirts are important to you (and they are to me) don’t stop doing that despite all the naysayers. However you really should make the effort to teach your kids to do some of these chores. It will take some effort because they won’t do it well at first but they’ll learn.

Someone else mentioned a steamer and I second this! They are infinitely quicker and easier, especially if you're only doing shirts. I got mine on Facebook market place for next to nothing, you should check if there's a cheap one about! I'll never have an iron ever again. Fannying about with the ironing board and the effort of pressing the creases out!? Bit medieval isn't it.

I'm a single mum too with 3 kids at home. We clean on Saturday mornings - all of my children help - in fact they more than help, we all do it together. Yours are old enough to help. Even your 6 year old can tidy their room.

I wash their clothes in the week - they bring them down (they have allocated days) and I wash them, then they take them back up and put them away (or more likely leave them lying around).

I cook each evening - very rarely batch cook, but my children take a turn too - even my 10 year old. We all tidy up after dinner, including dishwasher etc.

I think you need to stop the ironing! (I did many years ago). Do the washing in the week rather than all on one day. I have a heated airer and do use the tumble drier.

It can get overwhelming, but I don't spend all weekend doing chores. I spend a couple of hours cleaning and then cook for the children and me. I have washed my bedding today but won't do any washing tomorrow.