What am I doing wrong at the weekend?

[Mybloodycat]

Just to start, I am a single mum and I work almost full time and I am too poor for cleaners/ironing ladies etc

What am I doing wrong at the weekend?

I have spent today working solidly to catch up, shopping, cleaning, washing (loads of washing despite also washing in the week), ironing (loads of ironing), batch cooking some stuff, just endless, I’ve been on the go since 8am.
Tomorrow I have a shit load more to do, and it’s all stuff I need to do just to keep us functioning.

Everyone I know is off doing things, lots of people are out at weekends with their kids then have nights out planned.
Despite cleaning through the week and washing through the week, my weekend is still full of this shit.

I don’t seem to have any time for myself at all.

I’m shattered and I know something has to give. I don’t have massively high standards, but I do need to clean, and my clothes always need ironing, no matter how I hang them. I’ve done loads of ironing today and obviously I need to shop. I know I could swap to online shopping but I often need the reduced section as I am on quite a budget, so I like to go myself.

Any tips? How do you all free up your weekends?

Ok, I will try the two day thing for shirts. I already feel bad with uniforms because the kids tell me most of their friends change everything every couple of days.
We aren’t home until around 4.30-5 each day so it a big rush to do dinner, get them to do their lunches (their job) and get them to bed. I don’t think I have high standards, but clearly something needs to give in this house.

Kids do help, they make/change their own beds, do their own lunches, tidy up, take up their washing etc, but I do think some of it is the fact there is just me and no spare money to pay for any extra help.

I’d love a cleaning lady.

Don't think you're doing anything wrong, I feel exactly the same. Weekends are spent doing jobs, life Admin etc and before you know it it's Monday morning again.

That’s because it’s an empty house!!! 🤣🥴

I used to make it my rule that if it didn't get done on a Sat by 2pm it didnt get done. That gives you the weekend back. Kids must each have a job to start training them for adulting.

Mon-Thurs eat out of the freezer eg fish in breadcrumbs, peas and chips. Fruit n ice cream - that means just bunging it in the oven when you get home at 5, eat by 5.45 washed and done by 6.30. That gives you an evening. Don't cook from scratch just get the pre-made, least processed you can and serve with fresh/frozen veg.

Not read whole thread. We're a family of 4 and the only things get ironed are DH's shirts for work, plus the odd top of mine in the summer. DC clothes do not need ironing. Hang school shirts on a hanger to dry on a doorway overnight, no ironing needed. Shirts on a child are hidden by school jumer/blazer anyway. Primary uniform (sweatshirt and polo shirt) just dries hanging or on radiators. No ironing required. Lower your standards a little.

I don’t batch cook but if I’m doing something like chilli, bolognese etc I’ll make double and freeze half. After a while you build up the same selection of easy meals but without standing in the kitchen for hours.

I put a washing on over night, I usually use the tumble dryer but if I’m having the heating on anyway I’ll hang it around the house and it dries over the day. I put away anything that doesn’t need ironed, and have an ironing pile that accumulates through the week. I do iron but have a steam generator iron. I can do two sets of uniform for the week plus my work clothes in an hour or so. I always iron on a Sunday afternoon - it’s all done for the week.

I clean the bathroom as I go, wiping sinks and put some bleach down while supervising teeth and hair brushing. Dinner is sometimes something with chips. Kids tidy their own rooms or it doesn’t get done, kitchen gets cleaned as I cook.

Its hard work, but I usually have most of Saturday and Sunday free, the kids do go to their dad midweek and every other weekend which takes the pressure off a bit but I’d sink without a good routine.

Might be a silly question, but do they have to wear proper shirts? Could at least the primary one wear polo shirts? I’ve never ironed any primary uniform as it’s just polos and jersey skirts/ dresses/trousers!

I can’t remember the last I time ironed dds shirts. They’re 11 and 13. Their shirts are hung on the airer to dry like they are on their backs. Also sometimes hung on their radiators.
The 10yo can help too. Even if it’s to bring their laundry down from their own laundry basket.

There’s 4 of you, you need to be a team.

It sounds like you are doing a great job. I only have a couple of suggestions (& I’m not sure how helpful you will find them tbh)

Simplify your mid week meals to reduce the need for batch cooking: stir fry, pasta, tray bake, utilise a slow cooker (if you have one for stews, soups, curry)

Give your laundry an extra spin to reduce drying time.

Ruthlessly declutter & invest in storage (look on marketplace/ gumtree etc)

How often do DC change their beds? I wash DC sheets every other week so that's not even a weekly task for them. DC11 empties dishwasher (if you don't have one, could they do some washing up?). I think you're a hero, by the way, doing all that as a single parent.

Yeah I get it - I can’t achieve that level of decluttering 😩🤣

I tumble dry all our shirts and then they don't need to be ironed.

I only iron really creased T-shirts.

I work school house which helps so I'm home by 4 but then I still have the horses to see to and dogs to walk. I've started getting the kids to walk the dogs while I get dinner on.

I meal plan and shop online then I know I've got everything for the weeks dinners and packed lunches. Sometimes use the slow cooker but mainly the ninja.

Kids could wipe down the bathroom every couple days 10/14 yo? Or dust/ vacuum?
I think you need to get everyone involved and also stop ironing!

If we are busy I leave the ironing board up and just iron what we need on a morning. A steam iron is also great a shirt takes 30 seconds. Do big clean once a fortnight and top up with wet wipes and a robot hoover.

I was just the same!
Look up the organised mum method.
Get up at 6am and complete an hour of housework before everyone else wakes up:
Monday- living room & hall
Tuesday-kitchen
Wednesday- bathroom
Thursday- bedrooms (dc not at home).
Friday- ironing.
Washing gets done on Mondays and Thursdays.
Shopping delivered Sunday evening so everyone can help unpack. I use Iceland - I spend less than going to the supermarket, and buying frozen meat/veg is cheaper.
Invest in a slow cooker if you have one, cook double and freeze half.
It has taken me YEARS to work all this out, but now I have a day to myself and have free time at weekends (I work 4 full days a week).

Non-iron school shirts are my saving grace. I hang them up on coat hangers straight out of the machine and they dry fairly crease-free. Look for poly-cotton mix.

Same with school trousers. Hang them over a coat hanger straight out of the machine - like you would in the wardrobe - and they dry crease-free.

Just bung everything on a curtain pole with a radiator underneath.

Sounds hard. I’m wondering though if you’re comparing weekend activities to families where there are two parents in the household, therefore double the number of adults able to get everything done?

It sounds like you’re doing amazingly well. My only minor piece of advice is about the laundry- hang wet stuff straight up on to hangers and don’t bother ironing. You can get a £25 handheld clothes steamer to give stuff a very quick going over if really needed. Takes up less space than an iron and ironing board and is very quick to do.

My 14 year old irons. I pay her 10p an item and then bung a couple of quid on (as a tip!). She can also hang up items on the airer. We peg it to the airer as if it was on the line to hopefully reduce creases.

She also cooks. I started her off with peeling potatoes.

Both older children can listen to the younger one read to free you up.

Bribery - iron for cash, hoover or dust, cook or listen to sibling read.

I would buy enough shirts for the kids to have 5 each, wash on Friday night one load of white shirts a week. Buy overdoor hooks 1 for each bedroom the ones with 5 rungs but not wide. Hang all 15 shirts to dry. One wash no ironing and if you must iron just iron the fronts. Every night whilst dinner cooks do one room. Try to get out of the habit of wanting everything clean on the same day. Also Saturday morning say right after breakfast kids you all need to go and pick up all junk, toys etc as i will need to clean in 30 mins time, kids will get used to helping and tell them we can go to park etc in the PM if we all work together now. Good luck hun :)

I hate batch cooking. It's sooo much effort! Could you try doing really quick n easy fresh meals instead?

I also wondered do you have too much stuff? Can you get rid of some and spend time getting organised?

Something akin up the organised mum method might work for cleaning.

I don't think you're doing anything wrong though, there is just a lot of work.

Definitely stop with the washing so much. My kids also re wear pj's and clothes after school are worn all week unless actually dirty.

We have a cleaner every two weeks for 2 hours and don't do much on top of this.

How often are you washing beds? Cut that down in winter.

I used to do the supermarket shop on a Thursday evening, rather than the weekend

does the 14 year old watch the other two dc? could you leave them for an hour and do the shopping solo?

Do the dc help you put the shopping away?

How many loads of washing are you doing a week? how often do you change the bed sheets?

I have found that drying the washing on airers on the upstairs landing is the quickest place in the house they dry - hot air rises . Its a squeeze but I have shove it in the bedroom doorway. That way I can do a 30 minute wash in the morning before leaving the house and itlls be dry by the evening.

I used to save all my ironing for a Saturday night in front of a film.

Can you select 5 slow cooker meals and double up so you cook for 2 weeks, use the dump bag method - so you still prepare the dump bags for the week on a Sunday but it doesn't take so long as your not actually cooking Plus once you've done it, you have 10 melas if you've doubled up

I was also going to ask about the ironing. I never ever iron. But then I don't know about school uniforms, my DD is only 3...

Get your shopping (food) delivered on a Friday night. If you choose a flexible delivery slot they're quite cheap. Then you avoid the stress and time of a supermarket shop. You can do it on the supermarket app and it will save your favorites so it's very quick.