What am I doing wrong at the weekend?

[Mybloodycat]

Just to start, I am a single mum and I work almost full time and I am too poor for cleaners/ironing ladies etc

What am I doing wrong at the weekend?

I have spent today working solidly to catch up, shopping, cleaning, washing (loads of washing despite also washing in the week), ironing (loads of ironing), batch cooking some stuff, just endless, I’ve been on the go since 8am.
Tomorrow I have a shit load more to do, and it’s all stuff I need to do just to keep us functioning.

Everyone I know is off doing things, lots of people are out at weekends with their kids then have nights out planned.
Despite cleaning through the week and washing through the week, my weekend is still full of this shit.

I don’t seem to have any time for myself at all.

I’m shattered and I know something has to give. I don’t have massively high standards, but I do need to clean, and my clothes always need ironing, no matter how I hang them. I’ve done loads of ironing today and obviously I need to shop. I know I could swap to online shopping but I often need the reduced section as I am on quite a budget, so I like to go myself.

Any tips? How do you all free up your weekends?

Don't iron. It doesn't matter if kids shirts are creased. If the 14 year old is bothered they can iron their own.
If you have enough money, make sure they all have 5 school shirts, and wash them on Friday evening.
Do your supermarket shopping online, book a regular slot, and meal plan religiously.

@Mybloodycat

what you need to do is declutter. Life is easier with less stuff.

Dana K White is well worth listening to. Pod casts & you tube. She is a decluttering expert, she didn't set out to be, she just started blogging her journey. She'd tried loads of different things, but they didn't work for her. She has books too, but things you can listen to while you drive/cook is easier.

shes all about progress & only progress (so following her method) you can do just 10 minutes and your space will be better, never worse! You don't need to have a whole clear day! Honestly she just makes SO much sense, I could bang on about her method for days.

If you seriously declutter, your life will be SO much easier!

If jumpers are worn over the shirts then surely you don’t need to iron them? I don’t iron my childrens shirts.
I hear you though about the constant cleaning and tidying on weekends. It’s never ending and never enough time to do it all.

I'd also maybe do one online shop a month. Just so you have one weekend occasionally with less household stuff to do. I shop yellow sticker stuff too and prefer going to the actual supermarket, but love getting an online shop every so often.

Of course you’ll be doing housework all weekend if you’re working f/t and doing it for for the four of you. But the ironing… for goodness sake, quit with the ironing. No self respecting person spends their life ironing these days. And get the kids helping out.

If they are wearing jumper over shirt then at most the collar needs ironing. Not the rest!

What else are you ironing? Stop!!!

Buy a couple more clothes airers so that you can spread the washing out more. Find out where is draughty in the house and put the airers there.

Both of these factors will mean more air circulating around the clothes will dry them faster.

A good trick is to hang 2 or 3 shirts on hangars on each open door frame upstairs. They dry much more quickly.

Then think about heat rising. Put the airer up on a table or up on the kitchen worktop overnight. Much faster.

Get a steamer and the kids could do their shirts? But you say you do lots of ironing but only do their shirts?

For drying washing a dehumidifier is essential for me. Really cuts down the time its hanging on the airer.

I think less stuff is really important too.

It’s tough isn’t it! Have you decluttered and simplified the house as much as possible? The more stuff you have the longer it takes to clean and the more tidying you have to do. If you can simplify and structure things so everything has a clear home that makes things a little easier too. I feel like I spend my life washing too!

Get a steamer and they can steam their shirts! Even a travel one would do the job. Stop ironing - it’s not necessary. Xxxx

Batch cooking is time consuming. And exhausting. I tried it a few times and didn’t enjoy the meals as much as fresh meals and nor did I enjoy the fatigue I felt after spending most of the day in the kitchen.
I cook quick simple evenings in the evening and have the leftovers the next day for lunch. I’m of Indian heritage so my meals are mix of cultures. A typical week would be:

• khichri (rice cooked with lentils) with Kari (spicy yoghurt) and an aubergine curry
• pasta dish
• chicken curry with chapatti or whole meal pitta bread
• meatballs with tomato sauce and pitta
• tandoori chicken and potatoes
• salmon and white rice
• daal and pitta or rice

we’d have a salad with each meal and that probably takes the most time to prep. The rest of the stuff takes me no longer than 30 mins per meal including tidying up. Sad takes an extra 15 mins but my DD usually does that.

My children do their own laundry when they start secondary school and are very good with it. They like to look after their clothes. I do them until then. I iron as less as possible. I clean up daily in the evening and twice a week I do a big clean of something, eg fridge and freezer, a few kitchen cupboards, one of the wardrobes etc. I vaccum upstairs once a week and downstairs every day after we’ve finished eating.

lt leaves most of the weekends free except for a few odd jobs here and there.

I know you've said you are anal about ironing but that's where a lot of your time is going, isn't it? Dry shirts on hangers and they're fine, any minor crumples come out with a warm body and most of the shirt is covered by a jumper anyway! Try it - I haven't ironed in 10 years now, and none of my family notice the difference. Dry and hang/fold carefully, save money on electricity too.

Stop ironing kids school clothes, honestly you won't care and no one else cares
Stop ironing almost full stop, unless absolutely essential - consider future purchases so not necessary, e.g. blouses for work in a fabric that doesn't crease
Try online shopping, you can hunt for bargains and offers and keep costs down- if you must incorporate one quick trip mid week for sticker fresh items for top ups
Do a few really simple mid week meals, like scrambled egg, beans and spinach on toast. Or soup with toast - especially if your kids eat a hot school dinner
Clean a bit every day, quick hoover and wipe round, wipe round bathroom just before your shower- 5 minute job
Let things and standards go a bit on everything and it's amazing how much time you can save. I refuse to stress about kids school stuff - little to no planning for anything like world book day, just do the bare minimum on everything. It's worth it for no angst and very liberating, and your kids don't need all the faff

What you're experiencing is normal for being a working parent. Believe me, I stress about how much I have to do CONSTANTLY! I can only imagine it's more full on as a single mum.

I can guarantee you that those who are constantly out at the weekends either aren't as thorough with their house as you are, have more help than you (be it a partner or their parents) OR they have more free time during the week than you.

The best advice I have is something I received recently. Keep your house to the standard that YOU'RE happy with. As long as it's clean and comfortable enough for you, then that's all that matters.

But personally, I work from home so I'm able to do quick chores during my breaks or if we don't have such a heavy workload. This helps massively. All other tasks are done either when my little ones asleep or if I have annual leave and little ones still at nursery.

Shirts on hangers on a curtain rail to dry so they’re mostly crease free. A clean shirt every day is normal, wearing shirts a second day is grim. And I had 20 a week to wash and iron at one point.

Jacket potatoes once a week with beans, cheese, tuna mayo, coleslaw etc whatever is easy that everyone likes. Sausage, mash and peas. Batch cook bolognaise, curry, casserole etc anything that can easily be reheated with a carb. Roast chicken and chips with salad is easy.

Older kids can absolutely Hoover, mop, clean the bathroom, mow the lawn, take the bin bags out etc and there is no guilt in asking them to do so- everyone should contribute to the shit stuff that need doing in life. Take short cuts where needed. Beans on toast is a nutritional balanced meal. Eggs are cheap and versatile (leftover frittata).

I'm a single mum working full time (with 3 and 4 yr old) and I clean the house Friday evening (downstairs) and Saturday morning (upstairs). I put a film on Disney for the kids while I do upstairs. This morning I hung out the school uniforms and then went out for the day. I get an online shop delivered when I work from home one day in the week. I don't batch cook.

Evenings I do my nails or have a long bath, read a book or watch a series. I don't iron anything. I do tidy everything before bed each day, returning things to right rooms etc. Kitchen sides are cleaned down and dishwasher on. I do the towels and change beds Sunday. I rarely cool a roast and mostly do one pan easy meals each day.

Omg this is a game changer! Thank you!!!

Op I'm sure it's been said but a shirt each day?
Ironing uniform?.

I have had other mums tell me how they scrub and soak the White cuffs because they always get stained..

Op

It's not something that would ever bother me at all. who cares at school? A peer age 6?? A peer age 7? A stressed over worked teaching assistant running around after their charges?
It's also winter and children shouldn't be sweating at that age and not soaking clothes.

My ultimate priorities are clean pants, soft tights etc.

I've got a cousin who washes what I would consider too much. Jeans washed after one wash. Tons of ironing

I work 50+ hours a week and I'm never on top of my housework. Life is chaotic and apart from some of the really good advise you've been given on here (like not bothering with the ironing unless it's absolutely necessary) I have just had to adjust my expectations. I would love to be organised and live in a spotless home but my reality is digging through the odd sock bag at 5am because the drawers empty and hoovering before people come round.

Reading an update- can the dc swap to school dinners as it would save time, and definitely try online shopping, I can't imagine a weekly food shop having to take place on say a Saturday morning it would dominate too much. If you can keep one weekend morning free, as a do nothing morning and all of you - DC and you do your own thing you will feel better for it. They can have screens and you drink coffee in bed.

Then think of things they can do competently that will give you a bit of a break.
the little one can pick up and put away toys, make sure shoes are tidied away, the middle one can push a vacuum or a mop around and take out the rubbish, they can also help with clearing up the kitchen, washing up. The oldest can sort and load washing, do their own ironing and fold down other clean stuff. They can strip their own beds and the two oldest can change clean bed linen.

I just read your comments about the laundry. All I can say for that, is that drying it WILL get better once the weather is warmer and you can dry your clothes outside.

I'm obsessive about getting clothes dry quickly and am constantly moving wet clothes from the clothes horse to the radiators, when they're on, so they dry quicker and I can put them away quicker.

Can you buy additional clothes horses to get more items dried at once? And for when the weather's nicer, can you buy additional washing lines, pegs, etc, so you can dry more at once?

I'm probably not much help, but bare with it. This too shall pass!

I think you could be getting all 3 kids to help more, if you sit the older 2 down and tell them honestly how hard it is and that you need them to do more so the four of you can fit in some fun stuff together. Saturday morning chores, everyone mucks in with something they can manage, you lower your standards as much as you can bear, and teach them how to do things reasonably well. Then do something fun Saturday afternoons as a reward.

I read somewhere that irons use a lot of electricity so if you have a lot more ironing due to not tumbling you aren’t making that much of a saving by not using your dryer.
I find that if you hang straight from the washer then you still have creases but if you tumble for a short time (not fully dry) then hang then the creases are gone. They then air dry in half the time too. Remove them from the dryer in small batches so the last stuff to be hung on hangars is still rotating so no creases develop.

Dont iron. That is all I can add! We have a cleaner and still spend all weekend running the kids about and washing, doing and doing stuff around the house.

The only time we do other stuff is when we are off work all together

What are you ironing? I managed to get my kids through school without ironing uniforms, just buy the east care ones. Batch cooking I get but choose things that aren't labour intensive and fit around cleaning etc. set yourself 4 hours to do these jobs (excluding laundry drying obviously) and allow yourself downtime. Housework grows to fill the time available I find