What am I doing wrong at the weekend?

[Mybloodycat]

Just to start, I am a single mum and I work almost full time and I am too poor for cleaners/ironing ladies etc

What am I doing wrong at the weekend?

I have spent today working solidly to catch up, shopping, cleaning, washing (loads of washing despite also washing in the week), ironing (loads of ironing), batch cooking some stuff, just endless, I’ve been on the go since 8am.
Tomorrow I have a shit load more to do, and it’s all stuff I need to do just to keep us functioning.

Everyone I know is off doing things, lots of people are out at weekends with their kids then have nights out planned.
Despite cleaning through the week and washing through the week, my weekend is still full of this shit.

I don’t seem to have any time for myself at all.

I’m shattered and I know something has to give. I don’t have massively high standards, but I do need to clean, and my clothes always need ironing, no matter how I hang them. I’ve done loads of ironing today and obviously I need to shop. I know I could swap to online shopping but I often need the reduced section as I am on quite a budget, so I like to go myself.

Any tips? How do you all free up your weekends?

We do need to get rid of some stuff. We actually need a bigger house, which I am in the process of sorting because we do not have enough space here, especially where clothes are concerned.

I need to get the kids doing more, I have thought that on and off for a while, but, if I am honest, the oldest one is determined not to do it, to the point it’s exhausting. She shares a room currently and it’s a shit tip because she won’t consider the person she shares with and just trashes it.

A lot of this will be solved when we eventually move because I will be able to fit more storage in.

I don’t batch cook regularly, but I got some mince reduced that ran out today, so I cooked it and made stuff out of it, and I do that when I get stuff like that, I do make big pots of mash to freeze though, we like mash but not the frozen stuff you buy. I just try to do it so that when I do want a decent dinner I can do it.

I don't think you're doing anything wrong - it's just that a single parent of 3 who works full time will basically spend the weekend keeping the show on the road.

I realise that isn't much help but please don't feel that other people would handle it better, because I don't believe that is true.

Just stop ironing, there is really no need.

you’re not doing anything wrong!! You have a full time job and three kids….that’s a lot!!!

are you sure you have to wash everything you are washing. I’ve started getting my children to wear some clothes twice before washing. I give it a sniff test (sorry to be gross).I found I was washing a lot of stuff that wasn’t dirty or smelly. Eg my son wear his school trousers 2 days in a row, my daughter her school cardigan 2days in a row. Obviously harder for adults/teens, but younger kids don’t sweat/ smell as much.

honestly no other suggestions. Can you get a big freezer and do a once a month crazymassive batch cook and freeze??

Batch cooking for the sake of it doesn't save time. If you're doing a meal anyway that can be batch cooked eg a curry just double/triple e quantities. No extra time as you'd be cooking dinner anyway.
Shirts on hangers and lenor crease release, or pay the 14 year old to do them, they don't have to be perfect. 30-45 minutes tidying/chores each night means no marathon at the weekend, the DC need to muck in.

Not RTFT, but find out the times for the local laundrette. Wash your clothes, spin them,bung them in a strong plastic bag and take them to the laundrette to dry them then fold them nicely while still warm.

Don't redo a job that a DC has done. Show them how to do it so that it is efficient and leave it to them.

Please tell me you get online grocery deliveries instead of traipsing around the shops!

They wear the jumpers either the whole week or half the week, ditto skirts. We don’t change the beds a lot due to the ordeal that is called “trying to get it all dry” and everyone gets their PJs on when we get home.

Its not that i have an enormous amount of washing, it’s that it’s difficult to dry, we are really short on space and are quite squashed in, so I can only have the one airer. I’ve tried doing huge washes in one hit and I’ve tried doing a bit every other day, but I think (and this is probably an issue) that I feel I have to do all the washing by Sunday. I feel a bit uncomfortable if I don’t have all our stuff washed, so I know someone suggested a was on a Thursday and Monday, but that would make me feel weirdly uncomfy.

I think although I don’t live an unrealistic life I have unrealistic expectations of myself, because I’m the only one here it just falls to me and I’m conscious of how I’m juggling lots of ball all the time and dropping quite a few regularly

I completely get it. I’m a single parent but only to one DC and I feel as though our set up isn’t really working as I don’t have time to do everything even moderately well.

I do prioritise time with DD, going for a walk or trip out for example over housework but it means my house is in a constant state of chaos.

There was less to fit in when she was a toddler! I find the school admin stuff a heavy load, making sure homework is logged on an online system, lunches ordered etc etc all takes time and I can’t imagine doing this for three kids as well as working.

There’s no way I could iron 15 school shirts a week so I’d really let that go a bit if you can. DD wears polo shirts from Sainsbury’s and I only iron them on days like photo day!

Instead of batch cooking I would try:
Sunday night dinner is spag Bol or chili or soup but make a double portion and reheat on Tuesday.

Monday night - tray bake dinner. Find a recipe that takes 5 mins to put together and just shove in the oven so there’s very little actual work involved.

Wed night - meat and veges for tea. Get kids involved in helping to prep and it honestly doesn’t take much time.
Thurs - beans or eggs on toast
Friday - pasta

Kids should be helping with kitchen clean up.

Definitely only wash clothes if they are dirty or smelly

Make plans to go out one morning or afternoon each weekend. Just do it.

I’m definitely slovenly!
We all rewear - undies clean each day obvs, but everything else spot cleaned if needed and reworn as much as possible!
pjs hung to refresh! Jeans etc washed rarely etc. We are still clean. So three loads clothes a week, family of four.

Housework - tidy daily. Saturday am housework. 12 yo, bins and recycling. 10 yo dusts. Both tidy, dust and hoover their rooms. I clean bathrooms and kitchen - one week kitchen gets wipe over and bathrooms are thoroughly cleaned, then switch the next week. (Wiped and loo cleaned through week). Hoover and mop. Two hours tops.

Shopping - lunchtime on work day. Easy meals in week. Bit more effort weekends.

No ironing! School shirts on hangers.

Lower your standards!

When I was at school (a long time ago) we all used to wear those shirts that are designed to look crinkled. At high school I mean, didn’t have a uniform for primary. You just twist out of the washing machine and leave them to dry. Would that be an option?

Could you afford a dehumidifier? I bought a decent one for about £150 and it has transformed the whole laundry process. I also don’t iron. Not entirely sure where my iron is….

If you can afford a dehumidifier and the running costs of it (minimal compared to tumble drier) that will help amazingly with getting the clothes dry quicker. A load of washing dries overnight with it on so there's no waiting for a load to dry before putting the next one on.

• shopping - do it online
• cleaning - draft the kids, all 3 can help with this. 6 yr old is old enough to - keep on top of their room, 10 yr old can hoover and dust, 14 yr old can help with bathrooms(s) and washing up.
• washing - school trousers and jumpers can be worn several times before washing, wash in the morning before work if you can. I have the machine on a timer to come on at 5.30 then I have time to sort it for drying before work/school.
• ironing - reduce to bare minimum, hang shirts on hangers to dry so they are less creased.
• batch cooking - do it as part of a natural cycle rather than all on one day, so if you're cooking bolognaise one night after work double or triple the batch, some for tonight and some to freeze. If you're cooking Sunday lunch, Chuck a load of baking potatoes in the bottom of the oven so you have baked potatoes ready to freeze for quick reheating, or skin and mash them then freeze that, or chop them into wedges and add seasoning then freeze for cooking during the week.

We don’t have a cleaner. All housework done Saturday morning. If not done then, not done. No ironing, except for weddings and funerals.
Chore rota? Everyone to have two or three chores? Kids definitely keep own rooms tidy?

The 14 year learns to iron, the 10 year old can too.

They need to pitch in a lot more and keep practicing until they can do chores properly. Reframe it they are learning life skills at an appropriate age.

Quick dinners with no prep, very little active cooking and ready within 30 minutes

• piece of meat - chicken breast, drumsticks, pork loin steaks. Add seasoning, onto a baking tray 30 minutes in the oven. Serve with microwaved sugar snap peas, baby corn, tenderstem brocolli (dash of water in the jug with the veg, cover the jug lightly and 3 mins full power), or microwave rice.
• quesadillas
• full English
• baked potatoes - start them off in the microwave to soften then a really hot oven to crisp up, if you have one then you can microwave for 10 mins then air fry for 20 and they go lovely and crispy
• stuff on toast
• fried egg and chips
• omelettes
• breaded chicken goujons served in a soft roll with lettuce and tomato or in a wrap with peppers and onion
• burgers or hot dogs with corn on the cob

I couldn’t be bothered with all that washing and ironing. You can choose not to iron everything, you know? I can’t remember the last time I ironed my own clothes, let alone stuff for DS.

My 14yr old wears two school shirts a week and I never ever iron them . They wear a jumper over them and they’re non iron M& S school shirts.

Bedding is changed fortnightly.

Honestly, I’d rather spend time on stuff I enjoy doing so I do.

Dont think about buying more storage, that is just more to maintain/clean/store/sort. I agree Bartahouse is at the extreme end, but I truly think housework/laundry/cleaning/food shopping, everything is so much easier if you just have less. I'm trying to reduce clothes etc, I'll still wash the same but I think it'll be an easier process as I'll have space to easily put clean washing away, so no piles everywhere.

I would ditch the ironing we haven't needed to for at least 5 years. My tumbler cost 75p a load have you checked the price? Shirts skirts jumpers straight on hangers to dry hanging above radiators. We have duvets that are already in covers that get washed occasionally, sheets and pillowcases 50p to dri in tumbler or half a day hanging over doors. Batch cooking is expensive in our house I use the ninja a couple times a week roast in Sunday left overs through Wednesday jacket spuds in weds Thursday microwave meal with veg Friday takeaway sat I didn't eat oh made chicken kebabs back to roast tomorrow.

Also a single mum, have 3 children and work full time, would love a cleaner but it’s not going to happen! I always ironed uniforms but have been taking them straight out, hanging on hangers and as they are almost dry spraying with a 50/50 solution of water and fab con. Not as great as ironing but it’s enough! I also make sure I wash it all Friday night so it can be dry and away by Saturday lunchtime. Online food shop to be delivered Friday evening as well- I save money by not impulse buying. I also focus my housework on one floor each week- we deeper clean upstairs one week and bare minimum (cleaning wipes, splash of bleach, empty bins) downstairs and vice versa the following. Also try and have simple meals in the week- always pasta Monday, chicken Tuesday, freezer stuff Thursday. I have been finding more recently I’m pretty free by Saturday afternoon this way.

Could you do some meals in a slow cooker? Could the 14 year old help with preparing dinner? I try and chop all my vegetables on my day off and pre-cook them in the airfryer.
Also, if you give your washing an extra spin it takes a lot more moisture out. I also iron clothes when they are damp, the creases come out easier and they dry quicker too.
It sounds exhausting, hope things get easier soon x

All three of those kids are old enough to help.

Add another quick and easy meal or even 2.
Baked potatoes choices of fillings?
Omelette?
Soup and a sandwich?
Stir fry
Any one pan meals or one oven tray meals
Slow cooker meals are bloody easy and were a lifesaver for me at times, especially winter.
Get the 14 year old to cook? They need to learn at some point.

Cut down on the ironing. Hang the school tops on a hanger, less creasing. Any tiny creases left are unnoticeable by the time it's been worn 10 minutes.

Lower your standards. This will not be forever.

Just a thought, add up your time plus the electric useage of you ironing, decide if actually it's better for mental health, time saving, life in general to just tumble dry some things.