Ioan Gruffudd/Alice Evans

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Don’t know if anyone has followed this, but she had an arrest warrant issued today for failing to appear in court for breaching a restraining order he has for domestic abuse. Their poor children seem like an afterthought.

Do you think it was a cry for help when she was abusing him before they split, or just afterwards?

Those poor kids.

You appear to be conflating people discussing Ioan and Alice’s relationship, with people discussing Ioan and his responsibilities as a father.

From what I have read, the majority of the criticisms of Ioan relate to the latter.

But he is parenting with an abusive partner who is actively abusing him by parent alienating him, he's in an incredibly stressful situation that not every parent have to deal with. This isn't a usual co parenting situation this is a high difficult and toxic situation that the mother is putting the children in middle of. Not him. I don't think anyone would deal with it amazingly. I don't think a woman would have the same level of Scrutiny. They would be given some grace and sympathy.

I think the fact he is a man who has been abused is why there is so much criticism. He can't win he's being told he needs to spend more time with his children , Alice was or still is actively stopping thay. She is poisoning the children against him. She is making the relationship as difficult as it can be because she is hurting and taking it out on her children. That is not the fault of him. And again if he was a woman. People would acknowledge that and appreciate how difficult parenting would be .

So, a woman leaves her abusive marriage, but also leaves her children with her abusive, alcoholic ex husband, goes on an extended work trip, comes home with a new boyfriend who she immediately moves into her home, doesn’t initiate any legal proceedings regarding custody, emergency or otherwise, is seemingly okay with her new boyfriend posting pictures of them on his social media making comments about how happy they are and that they have never been happier, tells her children they need therapy before she will see them, passes on a day out with her children because of her new boyfriend’s medical condition and then cancels her first two contact sessions when she hasn’t seen her children in over a year to go on a trip to her new boyfriend’s home country…

No, a woman in Ioan’s situation would be crucified.

If a woman leaves an abusive relationship, I've never seen on mm anyone telling them they were wrong for putting their relationship offical on social media after a year. Which he was actually forced to do. Someone even suggested they shouldn't even be in a relationship till children r much older. Which would never have been suggested. . They wouldn't be being told off for not working enough to support ex abusive partner ! Crazy double standards!

I’ve never seen a woman on Mumsnet discussing plans to leave her abusive husband which included leaving her children behind.

And actually, the comments about Ioan and his work situation are in relation to supporting his children, not his ex wife.

Does Ioan have any responsibility towards his children, or is this again a case of conflating his relationship with Alice with his relationship with his daughters?

He leaves her to go work something everyone keeps banging on that he needs to do apparently! He hired a nanny to support. Which he paid for!
He said about therapy after his daughter stole £400 and was being poisoned by his ex abusive partner. He was trying not to pass covid to his vulnerable gf which I would say is reasonable. Didn't his daughter also Threaten ss if he didn't pay for her super expensive school? And didn't he go Australia to work? So not just visit family.

Of course he has responsibilities to pay for his children. He also is an actor and has to go to where the work is which im guessing isnt massively on demand due to his ex abusive wife trying to discredit him. And make it difficult for him to get work, I'm sure I read she was emailing bosses and work colleagues trying to smear him. So it makes sense him traveling for work. And it makes sense him traveling to where ever the work is as I'm sure there isn't massive of offers and he can be picky about where he works. And more about traveling to anywhere he can get a job.

He also can't just uproot his children to every country his work is in.

But, but, but, but…

Followed by excuse after excuse after excuse as to why Ioan has zero accountability in relation to the current state of his relationship with his daughter’s.

But just to pick up on a couple of your points:

I’m not sure why you’re trying to disparage his 12 year old daughter at not wanting to be moved from her “super expensive” school. She would have been devastated at having to leave her school given the chaos in her home life. The fact that the school was “super expensive” is irrelevant to the discussion. Ioan chose to send his daughter to that school. She would have reacted the same way whether the school was “super expensive” or free.

And didn't he go Australia to work? So not just visit family.

Nope.

Bianca was in Australia for work. Ioan had zero reason to be there. I cannot comprehend why he would miss out on two contact sessions with his daughters who he hadn’t seen in over a year to go to Australia with Bianca. It’s almost as if he isn’t prioritising them…

Oh, wait.

I'm not disparaging because of the super expensive school it was the fact she was Threatening to call social services. Obviously she is under influence of her mother.
These are not excuses these are just facts of situation. He has to go to where work is and it's probably not in demand so he can't be picky and pick more closers to home jobs which I'm sure he would prefer. If the children mum is posisiong them against him how do we even know if they wanted to see him?

U seem to be conveniently ignoring all comments on toxic parent alienating going on and how difficult that must be to navigate and now strained the relationship would be due to that.

I'm sure I've read on the documents he tired to talk on phone to the children away from ex but she kept getting involved by shouting at him through the daughters phone so he couldn't. I'm sure didn't the ex also kept stopping contact at times too.

I'm not disparaging because of the super expensive school it was the fact she was Threatening to call social services.

So what if she was threatening to call Social Services. It’s hardly a threat, is it. What on earth were Social Services going to do about it. She was lashing out, understandably. Complete non issue.

Obviously she is under influence of her mother.

Or maybe she was feeling abandoned by her father, traumatised at living day to day with her mother and distressed that the only area of stability (her school) is now being torn away from her too.

If the children mum is posisiong them against him how do we even know if they wanted to see him?

They did want to see him - his oldest daughter suggested they go out together to a theme park, but she was told no, because of Bianca.

I’m sure that plays a part in the strained relationship between Ioan and his children. But equally, I’m sure Ioan’s choices and decisions also play a part.

All the more reason then why he should have jumped at the chance to see his daughter (away from their mother) when the willingness and opportunity was there.

Did she want to see him or did she want to go to a theme park that's 2 different things. I'm sure he could have done things differently I'm not trying to say he acted perfected did everything right. But I'm trying to make clear is the relationship with his children has been changed because of the ex . First. I can only imagine the pressure the children r under even wanting to see him I can imagine would be not encouraged by his ex. Even discouraged it's an awful situation. I'm just not going down the he's an awful father route. And I don't belive he would get this if he was a woman. A man leaving a woman for a younger woman has certain connotations. And I think that's Ultimately what it boils down to.

Did she want to see him or did she want to go to a theme park that's 2 different things.

Oh, FFS.

Does it matter?

He had the opportunity to see her and spend time with her. He chose not to take his daughter up on her suggestion. It really is his loss.

He decided the health of his gf being a vulnerable person during covid would be better not to go theme park with lots of people around. And not catch covid and she potentially die. I dont think thats unreasonable. Did he suggest somewhere else? Did she suggest somewhere else? Do we even know the conversation after? We do not know everything they did or didn't do or the reasons behind things. As we shouldn't.

Agree, the language he uses towards his daughters is pompous and cold. Like he's punishing them and keeping them at arm's length because he sees them as under the influence of their mother.

Hopefully the court orders everyone to do some parenting classes and therapy of their own.

Could she not have stayed at home - with them then quarantining from each other if necessary? Given the lack of contact he had had with his children…. I write as someone who has a vulnerable son so got very used to juggling covid risks and prioritising different needs.

Let’s face it they both took plenty of long haul flights which must have been far riskier from a covid point of view than a theme park.

Can't he see that he's 50, he's losing his looks, he was never a superstar. His chances of getting work is growing increasingly slimmer. But instead, he's 'trying'to get work, going on auditions. Do any of his creditors care that he's trying? He needs to get a flaming job.

IG started off in TV acting when he was 13 years old. He left school at 18 to go to RADA. He's worked as an actor ever since. He has no experience, no qualifications. No one is going to give him a high paid professional job that will pay private school fees and a mortgage on a £2m house out of the blue and if you're suggesting he get a job stacking shelves, that'll still lead to him not being able to pay the mortgage or school fees. Somewhat bizarre complaint - "how dare he try and get a job in the field he's been working in for 35 years instead of pulling a magic other job out of his arse"

@Sindonym they were way more likely to catch Covid in the airport than him catching it in a theme park and then giving it to her.

Also instead of just saying no to the theme park, he could have suggested something else and told her how excited he was to see her, instead of being arsey and cold with her.

Sometimes discipline needs to take a backseat, he should be focusing on the ties between him and his daughter, not correcting her behaviour right now.

Alice is clearly trying to alienate him but he's making it easy for her.