Children are boring

[Bobbin35]

Very much following on from a thread on here about Greg James. It’s very true for me children are boring and I don’t want children. It’s very annoying that friends of mine insist I be interested in their child beyond asking how they are. If I started ensuring all my friends liked dogs, horses (that I own) I think I would lose friends very quickly but many of my friends assume I am their friend so therefore have to also be interested in their child. I’m not a bad friend I just don’t want to talk children at all just as I wouldn’t want to bore anyone I know about my horses if they are not horse people!

You sound like a crap friend to be honest. My kids aren’t very little anymore but my best friend has just had baby twins. Now babies do bore me at this stage in my life but hers don’t because they are her babies and a big part of her life, therefore I am interested in them.

I agree with you. My kids are amazing but other people's kids can be something else.

I try not to talk about mine unless I'm asked.

A child is significantly different to a pet.

Our kids aren't boring!

But understand no one wants to hear about it.

It's your friend who is boring talking about her kids too much not the kids.

Said, I pretty much only like my own children 😂 I think it's more that I only like children that I know though. It's far easier now they are all adult/teen.

The children are irrelevant, as are the horses. You sound as if you have a weirdly programmatic idea of friendship.

I'm assuming you're one of those people who completely ignores the child trying to join in a conversation their parent is having with a friend.

Not taking an interest in something that's a major part of your friend's life doesn't make a great friend, to be honest.
Children aren't just a hobby, they're a massive life changing thing and they're part of her family. People talk about their families.
I don't have much interest in people's parents who I haven't met, but I don't get annoyed when my friend talks about her dad and the things he's going through.

I’d never insist on someone being interested in my children, but my friends and I are genuinely interested in each other’s lives and a big part of many of our lives is our children. If we weren’t interested in each other’s lives, which includes kids for many of us, there’s probably no friendship there.

You are not wrong!

I think they are very boring until they get to an age when you can have banter and a serious conversation with them
Babies are more boring than Love island

When ds was into Pokémon he took boring to whole new levels.

Much as I love my dc, I don’t talk about them to my child free friends unless they ask, and even then I keep it short and sweet to avoid the inevitable glazing over of eyes.

YANBU.

Well stop being friends with people with kids then 🤷🏼‍♀️ unless you make sure you never bring up the subject of your horses and dogs? I expect you do.

My kids are the biggest part of my life, so naturally if there’s some kind of ‘news’ about them I tell my friends. That’s not the same as wanging on and on about them saying nothing in particular.

But equally I listen to the endless tales of dating woe from my terminally single friend, the regular updates on my other friend’s never ending house move and her new boyfriend, because we’re mates and I want to hear them.

What do you think should be discussed? Is there a list somewhere of approved topics?

Children can be boring but they do get more interesting if you put some time in and get to know them as I expect you'd agree if you had a fantastic little rider to ride out with you. Sadly it sounds like you don't have much in common with your friends but this may change as parenthood becomes less all consuming for them. It can be quite difficult to think of non child things to say when your life is a procession of muslin squares and nipple shields. Think hunting every day and night for a year and then going to a glitzy party where no one talks horses.

No one thinks their own kids are boring of course!
"Kids are like farts, you don't mind your own, but other peoples' are unbearable".

I'm with you OP. We used to have such fun and interesting friends, now it's one topic, or worse, constant requests to babysit or entertain while they need couples time.

My ds isn't boring, at 14 he's one of the funniest, most quick-witted people I know.

However, I'm biased. I don't bore my friends with stories about him, I check out what they've been up to, and if they want to ask about ds, then they can.

If something is important to my friends, I’m interested, doesn’t really matter whether it’s a child, a dog or a mouse. Or something completely different like a long house buying process, a hobby, work, whatever, I’m interested because c it means something or is affecting my friends.

@MintJulia

Same. I have a such a laugh with my 13 year old teen boy and I get the odd random whatsapp message from him now at school “love you mum” 💙.

But for some reason, people think it's OK to say they don't want to talk about children or that parents shouldn't talk about their kids. It's bizarre. Children are people yet they're dismissed all the time as if they aren't.

I've never heard anyone say anything like "I find couples boring so my friends shouldn't talk about their partner/wedding/dating adventures unless I directly ask them about it".

OP, I don't think YABU.
I like kids, always have, even before I had mine.

I often like other people's kids more than my own, as it's easy to deal with then compared to the actual parenting mine require.

But some people aren't interested, you say you ask about them, and then your friends need to pick up you aren't keen on hearing / interacting more.

The problem is that kids are so much a part of many people's lives, it can be hard to sustain a friendship if you don't want to connect with them.

Children you love are fascinating, children you don't love are boring. I made an effort with my friends children (and it was a huge effort sometimes) but it's paid off. Most of them are lovely now they're older, and great company.

That's lovely! Even the fact he messages you at all is lovely!

<makes note to show own 13 yo DS>

You must have a strange group of acquaintances if every child you’ve ever met is boring.

That's very well-put.

If you don't have kids, then you probably don't get it.

It's really difficult not to talk about something that takes up a lot of time, resource and head space.

I don't think I know anyone who goes on and on about their child, but the odd chat is fine.

And yes it's true your own children are interesting to you, not others.

And yeh as PP poster said horses aren't the same as people.