Why is there so much anxiety in kids?

[JudesBiggestFan]

Spoke to a family member earlier who is a teaching assistant.
Said the number of kids off with anxiety at her high school is phenomenal. Anecdotally I know of so so many severe issues....panic attacks, school refusal etc. 'Because Covid' seems to be the answer..along with why there is so much bullying/poor behaviour in schools. Is this why or is there more to it?
My own three boys seem fine thus far, but as I'm an emergency services worker, they only missed a really minimal amount of school.
But the poor behaviour of others does impact on the classroom environment/teacher stress so still has an effect on them.
So what is the reason? And what can be done? School days are supposed to be happy and carefree and it just feels like kids are just so sad.

Helicopter parenting is definitely a large part of it sadly - parents who over share and stress their child out about everything. And parents who let their kids rule the roost ☹️.

I think kids have more pressure at school now than we did several years ago. The teachers are more stressed and that impacts on how they are with the kids as well. Schools are more like exam factories now. I think it's sad! Also there is added pressure from social media. Kids aren't just bullied in school time they can now be bullied 24/7. Children's mental health service is over stretched and woeful.

And we wonder why kids are anxious!

It seems like you are describing liberalism at school gone a bit too far. Poor behaviour and bullying should not be happening in schools, full stop! And teacher’s should be on top of that. It’s like there is an all around ineffectiveness.

Anxiety… I don’t know. I’ve been highly anxious all my life, and sometimes I wonder if it would have been better if I’d been able to more open about it. But kids seem to become very anxious when they get into social media, and there must be a link.

This.

@JudesBiggestFan

a family I’m close to is having this with their kids. For them I’d say a combo of:

covid - all the routines and structures suddenly breaking was stressful for some kids. And I think it mattered a lot how the parents / adults closest to them reacted.

it was clear on here how many adults were panicking during that time, we’re very anxious themselves and revving things up. Hugely scary for the kids they were caring for.

yes things are much more normal now, but for some kids the ‘spell’ of school has been broken.

i was in the schools shouldn’t have been closed camp. Or at least not past the first lockdown and even then they should have opened up again sooner. But you only had to look on here to see how many parents (and teachers) resisted that.

for the family I know also: undiagnosed ND (likely high functioning ASD) been signs for a while but parents have only really faced up to it once school refusal started.

other stress (recent house move)

big difference in parental styles (one too permissive one too authoritarian) v confusing for the child. And leads to lots of conduit between the parents which the child finds upsetting, of course.

too many factors combined.

But just to add another argument, my child with SEN and extremely high anxiety had a great lockdown, as a lot of stress was lifted off, lower expectations, familiarity, routine and more tailored home schooling.

He was less anxious and it gave him respite I think. Although it was defiantly time to go back as I couldn’t home school forever without going a bit 😖!

Do you really 🙄 well if anyone is interested they can have a look and decide for themselves.

Well said! 👏👏👏

Smart phones

No they just grew out of it. The teenage brain is weird.

Too much pressure. Do this, do that, reach this target, sit this test, dont do this, don't do that, you're old enough to know better, not old enough to decide, look like this not like this, maybe your dyslexic/autistic/adhd, the internet will ear you, you must do all tour homework on the internet, the world is dying, when you older it will just be a ball of fire.

Sound pretty anxiety inducing to me.

Pre 80's it was just 'go out and come back when yourhungry/when its dark'. The world was ours. The world was more intergenerational. Now it's all a bit fucked and children can clearly sense that.

@gawditswindy and the kids seem to be able to pick and choose what lessons they attend, what time they turn up for school and so on. It’s no bloody wonder they can’t recruit teachers 😬🙄

And teacher’s should be on top of that. It’s like there is an all around ineffectiveness

There comes a point where dealing with ‘poor behaviour’ becomes virtually impossible though. A horrendously narrow and rigid curriculum, huge class sizes, growing numbers of pupils with additional needs but with no additional funding or staff to support them, unhappy teachers who are broken by workload, poor management or Ofsted leave, and then are replaced by inexperienced or unqualified staff, parents that come and scream at the head who doesn’t support staff if a teacher dares to try to tell their little Kev off or god forbid try to sanction him with a detention (which he won’t be going to!). All of these things make a classroom so much more complex than just saying ‘teachers should be on top of behaviour’.

I think a lot of parents did not protect their kids enough from the worry of covid. Yes it was a difficult time, but actually for most families with young kids the risks were extremely small. We were deliberately very casual about it because we knew school and the rest of society were going into overdrive with hand washing/social distancing etc and we wanted to counteract that.

What a very ignorant, gross comment to make

@EarthPunchingBack you and the so called 'teacher' should be ashamed of yourselves. My dd is so terribly anxious due to her autism (sorry if you don't like the 'label') that she is late for school every day otherwise she doesn't go. If you could witness her utter distress on a daily basis you might get it but I highly doubt it.

I’m not convinced there wasn’t just as high anxiety amongst children years ago. I went to a primary school reunion a few months ago and a lot of us have been having regular contact since. We’re in our 30s/40s now and lots of them have talked about how anxious they were at school back then but hid it, various reasons for it, some unknown, a few have been diagnosed with autism, some the anxiety was down to circumstances, but definitely was still a thing. Largely not mentioned to parents or ignored. We shouldn’t encourage kids to keep it to themselves or ignore it.

I know that for many teen girls, anxiety is a part of autism and thankfully those girls are being diagnosed and getting help and adjustments at school.

@BritainsGotTalons But children did just get on with it largely. Feeling anxious is normal. It is what we do about it that has changed.
And avoiding things because of anxiety increases your anxiety.

I think as others have said Tech has a big part to play.
Bullying can happen in your own room now
Comparing what everyone has
Always being able to be contacted
The constant of having that instant contact
Knowing every bit of bad news around the globe
The political state of our country, schools so underfunded the care is slipping.

The chance we are going too far the other way with our kids in school.
Parents ringing to complain about every little thing.
Children knowing the schools are all taking this lets praise the good and ignore the bad sort of attitude, its creating and awful school environment.
Some kids now just can't cope with everyday situations, and when they hit the real world, it will be so hard for them.

Although the number of adults i meet now with anxiety is shocking. I know more with some form of "anxiety" than i know without. I dont know the answer but we do need to allow our kids to breathe and be kids again.
It scares me for the furure of our DS but hopefully we raise him to be resilient enough to thrive.

Very interesting. I agree about technology, but would add overcrowding and noise. There are just too many human beings. In 1900, there were a billion people. By 1960 that had trebled to three billion. By 2000 it was six billion. Now it’s eight billion. Too many of us now live on estates with hardly any personal space - bits of scrubland on which developers have jammed as many new builds as possible. In rural Essex, where I live, the traffic is horrific (and SO noisy, thanks to idiots modifying their exhausts). A little while ago, for example, I was walking with my eight year old niece near a busy road. A car went by with a screeching engine and she stopped dead still, put her hands over her ears and burst into tears.

I once read that people who live on inner city estates often display the stress levels of those trapped in a war zone. I sometimes think that is where the whole country is heading. Every year things seem to get noisier, faster and more crowded. It’s overloading our nervous systems and burning us out. Life has always been full of trauma and pain. People have always watched loved ones die, had marriages break down, found out their partner is cheating, etc, but they had space and silence to recover. It is becoming increasingly hard to find that now. Adults are burning out and passing their anxiety and stress onto their kids.

Parental separation / absent dads / divorce
Even when parents think irs all fine, kids remain traumatised but tell other people - not their parents

So many parents are separated now in primary schools irs very sad

One of DD friends cries herself to sleep every night at her dads

Other kids around them become worried their own parents will divorce etc

Don't remember this at all at primary in late 90s

It can be normal to a degree. Normal is what my son felt before exams or if there was friendship issues. But I assure you there is nothing normal about the level of anxiety my daughter has felt. She has autism and thankfully since diagnosis, reasonable adjustments the school have to make, means her life is much improved.

Agree totally with @BeaBachinasec and @Cuppasoupmonster In the past,
people had a bad day. Now it’s a bad mental health episode! Really not helped by schools focusing on how people feel and telling kids they’re sad and down and all that jazz 🤯 As a PP said, being forced to write down your worries just leads to anxiety! We’re living in a world of snowflakes and it’s pathetic, quite frankly. It also does a huge disservice to those who are genuinely suffering with real mental health issues. There’s anxiety the medical condition and feeling a bit worried or apprehensive, quite naturally, before a big event or daunting task. The two are now conflated and it’s the thin end of the wedge.

Oh and making her do certain things made the issue worse. So, there’s that. Lots of ignorance here. I’ll listen to the expert psychiatrists not the usually ‘lets bash mental health and ND’ people. I recognise a few names already.