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Original poster

Friend and her BIG house

258 replies

subtoprem · 17/01/2023 06:19

I have a friend I met through a hobby about five years ago.

She lives in a big house that I've been to quite a few times, so I'm fully aware, but she drops it in conversation all the time. Is this weird?

Eg. I moan about having some cleaning to do, her "think yourself lucky you don't have to clean my big house!"

Conversation about when our kids were growing up "well, I've been lucky living in a big house, so much easier with space"

Inane chat about the size of her dog "yes, I'm so glad I have a big house!"

Seriously, it gets shoehorned into a conversation every time we meet (maybe once a month)

I don't care about the size of her house 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
subtoprem · 17/01/2023 11:02

Thing is, they keep the place like an absolute dump. Isn't cleaned or maintained. It's far too big for them and must cost an absolute fortune to heat.

Wonder if it's the same person 😂

OP posts:
Alondra · 17/01/2023 11:15

subtoprem · 17/01/2023 11:02

Thing is, they keep the place like an absolute dump. Isn't cleaned or maintained. It's far too big for them and must cost an absolute fortune to heat.

Wonder if it's the same person 😂

Jealous much? All you seem interested is in posting saying how much of dump or poorly maintained big houses can be without engaging in posts about maintaining the friendship.

I'm out.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 17/01/2023 11:19

Do none of these people know what was traditionally referred to as 'the big house'? The one that you live in free of charge at the Queen/King's pleasure?!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 17/01/2023 11:23

Dh refers to her as 4 toilets

I'd have gone with imagining her as a superhero called 'Quadrobog' - wearing a cape made by Andrex and her pants on the outside!

matching his and hers aston martins in a custom colour named after their cat…
Mocha, amber, jade?

'Tiddles Yellow' ?!

GasPanic · 17/01/2023 11:24

subtoprem · 17/01/2023 11:02

Thing is, they keep the place like an absolute dump. Isn't cleaned or maintained. It's far too big for them and must cost an absolute fortune to heat.

Wonder if it's the same person 😂

Nah, no dog.

When I say "dump" here I am not meaning "mumsnet competitive cleaning dump".

I mean a serious dump.

ColdHandsHotHead · 17/01/2023 11:26

It's a funny thing about loos: when I was househunting (I've got a two bedroomed 'starter' home but actually it's my retirement home so I think of it as a 'finisher' home) there was a new build on for about what I paid for my house. It had two bedrooms, an ensuite, a 'family' bathroom and a loo downstairs. No way would I have bought it. Clean three loos? Maintain all that plumbing? I can see the point of a downstairs loo, but I'd rather have the space for storage.

thankyouforthesun · 17/01/2023 11:28

Maybe she is being grateful for what she has. I am well off and many of my friends are well off, for example one is a teacher and when we were talking about having one of our children being sick recently we talked about how thankful we were to be able to choose to pay to go private and skip the waiting lists.
Surely she's privileged and she's recognising how lucky she is, and being grateful, it's not the same as one of the other posts on here about someone having a dig at the poster's small house or moaning about having to clean her massive house or something, she's recognised that because she's got a nice thing she's also lucky enough to have a dog etc.

HeartBrokenWife · 17/01/2023 11:36

The size of other people's houses is one of the biggest MN topics isn't it? I wonder why we find it so very interesting?

Naturally, I now I feel that I have to mention my own house so that the haters from one side or other can tear me to shreds. The only trouble is that my house is physically quite large, but it's in an economically poor location where property costs far, far less than the national average.

Not sure how I'll be attacked, but I'll sit back and wait to be slated by both sides i.e. those who will accuse me of boasting about my "immense" square footage and those who will tell me that they grew up in a stately home, so my modest heap of bricks is beyond contempt actually.

Go on, do your worst folks. I'll laugh either way because I love my house. Despite it being cold, draughty and normally pretty untidy, I've put a lot of work into it over the years and although it might not appeal to anyone else, it suits me very well and I want to stay here as long as I can.

Iateallthechips · 17/01/2023 11:39

ColdHandsHotHead · 17/01/2023 11:26

It's a funny thing about loos: when I was househunting (I've got a two bedroomed 'starter' home but actually it's my retirement home so I think of it as a 'finisher' home) there was a new build on for about what I paid for my house. It had two bedrooms, an ensuite, a 'family' bathroom and a loo downstairs. No way would I have bought it. Clean three loos? Maintain all that plumbing? I can see the point of a downstairs loo, but I'd rather have the space for storage.

I’ve seen so many houses like that too. How many bloody bathrooms does a two bedroom house need!

Just give me one bathroom and bigger bedrooms and living area!

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 17/01/2023 11:40

watcherintherye · 17/01/2023 08:38

he can afford a cleaner, a gardener, a million pound house, a range rover and matching his and hers aston martins in a custom colour named after their cat…

Mocha, amber, jade? Grin

Tiddles Montgomery Smythe buff, surely?!

I have cats with people names - can't imagine having a custom colour called Trevor Grin

Fimofriend · 17/01/2023 11:43

My FIL asked directly how many square metres my parent's house is and then sneered because my PIL's house was 6 square metres bigger.

He started "renovating" the house as soon as they moved in but doesn't like finishing the jobs so for many years they could only use two thirds of the house, the last five years they lived there they could only use one third of the house. You could look straight into the youngest SIL's bedroom, there was no flooring in the corridor and entrance, a tile missing here, a door handle missing there etc, all furniture old but most definitely not vintage or antiques and they liked to keep the house between 16-18 degrees Celsius. But my parent's well kept, warm, clean house is six square metres smaller. How very embarrassing for me 🤣😃🤣

Iamthewombat · 17/01/2023 11:49

HeartBrokenWife · 17/01/2023 11:36

The size of other people's houses is one of the biggest MN topics isn't it? I wonder why we find it so very interesting?

Naturally, I now I feel that I have to mention my own house so that the haters from one side or other can tear me to shreds. The only trouble is that my house is physically quite large, but it's in an economically poor location where property costs far, far less than the national average.

Not sure how I'll be attacked, but I'll sit back and wait to be slated by both sides i.e. those who will accuse me of boasting about my "immense" square footage and those who will tell me that they grew up in a stately home, so my modest heap of bricks is beyond contempt actually.

Go on, do your worst folks. I'll laugh either way because I love my house. Despite it being cold, draughty and normally pretty untidy, I've put a lot of work into it over the years and although it might not appeal to anyone else, it suits me very well and I want to stay here as long as I can.

Are you constantly mentioning your big house to your friends? Ducking when confronted by standard height ceilings and doors? Pressing yourself against the wall?

If not, why would you ever think that the subject of this thread - insecure people constantly referring to their big houses - applies to you?

Unless you saw an opportunity to mention to strangers online that you have a big house, accompanied by a bit of humblebragging?

HeartBrokenWife · 17/01/2023 11:52

Iamthewombat · 17/01/2023 11:49

Are you constantly mentioning your big house to your friends? Ducking when confronted by standard height ceilings and doors? Pressing yourself against the wall?

If not, why would you ever think that the subject of this thread - insecure people constantly referring to their big houses - applies to you?

Unless you saw an opportunity to mention to strangers online that you have a big house, accompanied by a bit of humblebragging?

Show quote history

Ha ha. You couldn't resist could you? I knew there'd be at least one who got so exercised by my perceived good fortune/lack of good fortune that they couldn't help those fingers hitting the keyboard in a fury. Love it 😆

GasPanic · 17/01/2023 11:57

ColdHandsHotHead · 17/01/2023 11:26

It's a funny thing about loos: when I was househunting (I've got a two bedroomed 'starter' home but actually it's my retirement home so I think of it as a 'finisher' home) there was a new build on for about what I paid for my house. It had two bedrooms, an ensuite, a 'family' bathroom and a loo downstairs. No way would I have bought it. Clean three loos? Maintain all that plumbing? I can see the point of a downstairs loo, but I'd rather have the space for storage.

Well the ensuite debate is a long one.

But if you do have an ensuite which is very popular, you have to have a separate bathroom, that is pretty much guaranteed because a bath isn't normally fitted in an en suite.

I am not sure but I think there are some building regs that say you have to have a ground floor toilet in new builds.

So the three toilet provision becomes almost a given in a new build.

TBH I would rather live in a place with one too many (3) than one too few (1).

RandomCatGenerator · 17/01/2023 12:06

Iateallthechips · 17/01/2023 07:57

Yes, I will admit that’s mainly why! She is like it with cars, children, jobs, schools - hers is always the best. I find her oddly fascinating.

But - when I was going though a terrible time in my life, she was the only one that stuck by me. She was the only one who phoned me every day, gave practical help, made difficult phone calls on my behalf, took my children out for some fun when I was at breaking point. I don’t think I would still be here without her.

People have many different qualities to them, some wonderful, some not so great. So I can forgive all the mine is better than yours bullshit, because deep down, she’s a lovely person.

And she’s fucking hilarious when she’s off on one in a mad sort of way, even though it can be tedious to be told how much better all her stuff is.

Show quote history

Ah so she is a good friend in a crisis. I now feel bad that my first reaction was that she can absolutely get in the bin.

RandomCatGenerator · 17/01/2023 12:07

GasPanic · 17/01/2023 11:57

Well the ensuite debate is a long one.

But if you do have an ensuite which is very popular, you have to have a separate bathroom, that is pretty much guaranteed because a bath isn't normally fitted in an en suite.

I am not sure but I think there are some building regs that say you have to have a ground floor toilet in new builds.

So the three toilet provision becomes almost a given in a new build.

TBH I would rather live in a place with one too many (3) than one too few (1).

Show quote history

I saw a house on the market this week with four beds and six bathrooms. Six! That’s surely a disproportionate number of bathrooms.

Daffodilis · 17/01/2023 12:10

Reminds me of the Friday Night Dinner episode where a neighbour brings up her Mercedes at any given opportunity

SpiritedSneeze · 17/01/2023 12:12

I had a friend just like that except hers was for her 'proper house'
Me and my daughter live in a flat- always have done, it works great for us. The friend seemed to think flat living was something to be embarrassed about and would shoehorn her 'proper house', into literally every conversation.

I lost my purse, she knows the feeling because everything gets lost when you have a 'proper house'.

We were going to make a roast dinner one day, apparantly nothing compares to having a good roast in your own 'proper house'.

She saw our rollerskates on the shoerack by the door- it must be terribly hard to find space for things like that?, when you get a 'proper house' of course there is room for a proper shoe cupboard

She once even managed to brag about having stairs.
I thought she was joking so said that ah I must be lucky as its a third floor flat so I still get to experience stairs.
She told me that 'thats the spirit, but obviously it can't compare to having your own personal stairs in your own 'proper house'.

Not awfully rude or anything just weird

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 17/01/2023 12:14

I saw a house on the market this week with four beds and six bathrooms. Six! That’s surely a disproportionate number of bathrooms.

I can foresee a time when houses will be described as X-bathroom houses, with the number of bedrooms being considered an arbitrary side-issue!

I have cats with people names - can't imagine having a custom colour called Trevor

Mark my words: 'British Racing Barry' is going to be THE hottest shade for the next decade!

TheEponymousGrub · 17/01/2023 12:15

"My own DH’s family had house dysmorphia"

😂😂😂😂

Suzi888 · 17/01/2023 12:15

“Her best one ever was at another friends house, she walked in holding her baby and very was dramatically shielding the babies head as “oh gosh, I am just not used to these low ceilings, it’s terrifying, sorry!”

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 that is gold!

GasPanic · 17/01/2023 12:16

RandomCatGenerator · 17/01/2023 12:07

I saw a house on the market this week with four beds and six bathrooms. Six! That’s surely a disproportionate number of bathrooms.

Show quote history

Certainly sounds that way. I doubt whether any new build would be offering that configuration though.

You could envisage a house with four bedrooms, an en suite bathroom to every room and a separate "family" bathroom with a downstairs toilet/shower room, which although a bit excessive isn't totally over the top.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 17/01/2023 12:16

apparantly nothing compares to having a good roast in your own 'proper house'.

Are you sure she wasn't trying to invite you to join them in something else quite different there?!

2023pending · 17/01/2023 12:17

Paid Cash Alex 🤣🤣🤣

I had a mate like this but to do with her new job. Started a uni course in paramedic science, everyone else was shit compared to her, all thick, no one’s as smart as her, she knows everything and apparently everyone on her course was always asking her information and checking things by her as she had so much experience, she was a first aider.

We stopped speaking soon after as she kept making comments about low paid roles and how people who work in supermarkets etc are “bottom feeders” found out not long after she left the course due to multiple complaints about her and ended up volunteering at a charity shop. These people really do think the sun beams out of their own backsides

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 17/01/2023 12:18

You could envisage a house with four bedrooms, an en suite bathroom to every room and a separate "family" bathroom with a downstairs toilet/shower room, which although a bit excessive isn't totally over the top.

You lost me at 'isn't totally over the top' !! Who is using the family bathroom if all the family have their own en-suites?!