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Original poster

URGENT they're here in 10m how do I not act mad?

160 replies

simpletickets · 30/12/2022 11:57

Really excited for DP and his siblings to meet my sister and her husband and also see my brother who they've met. My sister let the siblings stay in her house over Christmas for free. DP hasn't seen my sister in a long while. It was going to be a lot of my favourite people in one place. We had organized a breakfast for today. DP and siblings took a four day trip and were meant to be here by 10 max 11. My sister, her husband, and my brother were happy to be flexible and start anywhere between 10 and 11.

Well DP and siblings all left 2 hours late. DP is blaming his siblings for not being ready. They are due to arrive in 10m. My brother couldn't do past 12.15pm. My sister had an appointment at 12.30pm. I am fuming. Mostly because they haven't once apologized, just informed us.

They will arrive here in 10m. They know im very disappointed. But I don't want to ruin whats now a lunch for 4 by being so angry.

please knock some sense into me.

OP posts:
InsomniacVampire · 30/12/2022 12:52

How did it go OP?
I understand disappointment and would be quite petty about them being late, but that's me lol, you may be a bigger person.

RedPost · 30/12/2022 12:53

HangerLaneGyratorySystem · 30/12/2022 12:49

There was a thread on here yesterday where the OP was treated shamefully by her parents as she was 10 minutes late to a restaurant. Posters ripped her a new one - which I knew would happen as soon as I saw the title, because she thought the parents were over-reacting (which of course they were!)

The OP in this instance started the thread with a lot of hand wringing and saying she needed to have sense knocked into her, so posters here are saying yeah well if you say you deserve it then why not eh?

These guests are hours late, THAT is fucking rude, posters literally saying that as the meet up probably wasn't important to them, they shouldn't have been expected to attend on time if at all. Madness.

Hope you managed to salvage some of the day OP; sometimes people are rude and thoughtless and you just have to live with it. You'll think twice next time, don't go to any trouble for these people. I'd be interested to hear what your DP has to say for himself.

It's different though. If a table's booked you turn up when it's booked for.

This was obviously a much looser arrangement because OP's family didn't turn up at all - were waiting on confirmation the others had arrived. So it seems everyone was well aware it could slip.

InsomniacVampire · 30/12/2022 12:54

Also ffs they are not 10 yo they should be able to get dressed and leave on time...

bellac11 · 30/12/2022 12:56

HangerLaneGyratorySystem · 30/12/2022 12:49

There was a thread on here yesterday where the OP was treated shamefully by her parents as she was 10 minutes late to a restaurant. Posters ripped her a new one - which I knew would happen as soon as I saw the title, because she thought the parents were over-reacting (which of course they were!)

The OP in this instance started the thread with a lot of hand wringing and saying she needed to have sense knocked into her, so posters here are saying yeah well if you say you deserve it then why not eh?

These guests are hours late, THAT is fucking rude, posters literally saying that as the meet up probably wasn't important to them, they shouldn't have been expected to attend on time if at all. Madness.

Hope you managed to salvage some of the day OP; sometimes people are rude and thoughtless and you just have to live with it. You'll think twice next time, don't go to any trouble for these people. I'd be interested to hear what your DP has to say for himself.

The two situations are not comparable because the fact that people turn up hours late suggests that there wasnt a set time or there wasnt a clear communication about it being a set time. The other side of the story is important here because otherwise it doesnt make sense that people would turn up 2 hours late.

RedPost · 30/12/2022 13:00

bellac11 · 30/12/2022 12:56

The two situations are not comparable because the fact that people turn up hours late suggests that there wasnt a set time or there wasnt a clear communication about it being a set time. The other side of the story is important here because otherwise it doesnt make sense that people would turn up 2 hours late.

Show quote history

Whilst the others didn't turn up at all...

keepaweatheredeye · 30/12/2022 13:01

Sounds like a faff for an hour at a time of year when no one wants to faff. Let it go

InsomniacVampire · 30/12/2022 13:03

keepaweatheredeye · 30/12/2022 13:01

Sounds like a faff for an hour at a time of year when no one wants to faff. Let it go

But then they could have said before they didnt feel like it, or at least apologied, don't you think?

ItsNotReallyChaos · 30/12/2022 13:05

I wouldn't be too mad with your DH if he is usually good about commitments and times.

I've some friends who are truly DREADFUL with time-keeping and are habitually very late. I've made the mistake of being with them at the point we need to head off to an engagement at a particular time and they're dawdling around just not getting ready. No amount of chivvying achieves anything and it makes my blood boil!

These people are otherwise absolutely fantastic friends.

I've had lesser friends who've been disrespectful re times like this and I've ditched them.

CrystalCoco · 30/12/2022 13:10

It looks to me like only you and your siblings were interested in this meeting happening.

DP and his siblings weren't bothered - if they were, they wouldn't have been 2 hours late. Assuming no accident / emergency then they just didn't bother their arses to get out of the door on time. Rude.

Sorry this happened to you.

NerrSnerr · 30/12/2022 13:12

Are the siblings actually bothered about meeting each other? Just enjoy your time with your family.

Daffodilis · 30/12/2022 13:15

Sonyrecording · 30/12/2022 12:33

Why are people making excuses for them and trying to imply that Op was unreasonable? They're adults. Everyone is capable of arriving for a meal at an agreed time FFS.

So nothing at all could happen that could possibly make them late?

YouremywifenowTubs · 30/12/2022 13:19

Reading though this, it’s made me realise that dh sister has never met mine. We’ve been together donkeys years.

I don’t think they’d even know each others names if you’re asked them.

I’ve never even questioned if that’s normal or not. It’s not something I’ve ever thought about.

PenelopeTitsDrop3121 · 30/12/2022 13:22

That's a ridiculously small window. You're not allowing for traffic etc. If this really was important then everyone would schedule a whole day to be together wouldn't they?

InsomniacVampire · 30/12/2022 13:25

PenelopeTitsDrop3121 · 30/12/2022 13:22

That's a ridiculously small window. You're not allowing for traffic etc. If this really was important then everyone would schedule a whole day to be together wouldn't they?

But they are not late because of traffic but because they could not be bothered, which is a bit different...

Crinkle77 · 30/12/2022 13:28

NerrSnerr · 30/12/2022 13:12

Are the siblings actually bothered about meeting each other? Just enjoy your time with your family.

Yeah this. Why would they bothered about meeting each other in the first place. I was with my ex for 10 years and my sisters never met my partners brother ever. It sounds a bit forced and awkward. I wouldn't want to have breakfast with strangers. If they didn't want to meet for the breakfast they should have declined the invitation.

RedPost · 30/12/2022 13:29

CrystalCoco · 30/12/2022 13:10

It looks to me like only you and your siblings were interested in this meeting happening.

DP and his siblings weren't bothered - if they were, they wouldn't have been 2 hours late. Assuming no accident / emergency then they just didn't bother their arses to get out of the door on time. Rude.

Sorry this happened to you.

I don't think OP's siblings were bothered either, as they could only offer such a short window on the morning DH and his siblings were travelling back from a trip.

amonsteronthehill · 30/12/2022 13:32

2 hours late is not 'tight' ... they just couldn't be arsed to do the lunch. Arseholes, the lot of them. They agreed to the lunch and then dicked about.

Sorry, OP. Don't think much of your 'D'P here, or his siblings.

OnlyFannys · 30/12/2022 13:34

Tbh the fact that your siblings had appointments booked and his siblings didnt bother setting off on time suggests neither side of siblings is that arsed about meeting each other (and understandably so, my sister had been married for 8 years and I have never met her DH siblings, it wouldnt occur to me that this is even a thing). The window of time was too small and even a bit of traffic would have wiped it out. Its shit they didnt set off on time but I would let this one go, it sounds like you are the only one that really cares about them meeting in the first place

mcmooberry · 30/12/2022 13:36

I would have been annoyed, embarrassed and disappointed too. Hope it went ok.

Oldraver · 30/12/2022 13:41

So you DP's siblings happily accept a freebie house for Chiristmas from your DS, but dont think being on time to meet her ? bit ride IMO

user1483387154 · 30/12/2022 13:41

I would actually have walked out and gone somewhere else. That is so disrespectful

XmasElf10 · 30/12/2022 13:46

Late people cause me to get very angry. When they hadn’t arrived by 10 minutes past the agreed time (of course if people call and let me know they are stuck in traffic or a tyre blew up I can wait) I’d have gone out with my siblings or by myself. I do not wait for late people (I do warn new friends of this before any first meeting.) I cannot advise you because my option is always the nuclear one when it comes to lateness.

bellac11 · 30/12/2022 13:49

Oldraver · 30/12/2022 13:41

So you DP's siblings happily accept a freebie house for Chiristmas from your DS, but dont think being on time to meet her ? bit ride IMO

This doesnt make sense at all, if they have lived with her in her house for a trip/short stay then what is the importance of 'meeting her'. Presumably they thought it was just a lunch/breakfast get together where whoever was there would meet up and others wouldnt

OP is busy hosting now so cant respond but I would be interested to know the other party's views

RUNPMTS · 30/12/2022 13:58

I mean I can see why you're annoyed but as pps have said, why the need for them to meet at all? Also, you "adore" your partner's siblings? Really?! Bit over the top no?

FlowerLilyFix · 30/12/2022 14:09

I think the person it’s the most important to is you. But actually to the others it’s not a big deal. I agree with PP it’s a tight window.