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Original poster

Child won't have hair brushed

137 replies

hairhelpme · 27/12/2022 20:52

Anyone have experience of a child who won't have hair brushed?
My DD is 5 and what I would call "tender headed", I think she has some kind of phobia of having her hair touched.
She is perfectly normally behaved in all other areas

I've tried everything - all types of brush and comb, I'm extremely gentle, I have tried holding the hair near the root to prevent discomfort, I usually do it with my hands but it takes hours

She has thick, coarse hair which holds very little moisture (she is white and South American).

She won't sit for a hair cut
If I try to brush her hair she screams in pain and cries.
I cannot bring myself to hold her down and inflict this pain on her whether it's really that bad or she just hates it so what do I do?
Her hair looks like rats tails at the moment

OP posts:
Stardustkid · 27/12/2022 20:54

Can you brush it with conditioner on it, DS would only allow that but his hair wasn’t too long

milkymeg · 27/12/2022 20:54

Have you given her the brush to make a stab at it herself? DD1 was hideous about having her hair washed until I let her do it herself (and did the rest with a flannel...)

MolesOnPoles · 27/12/2022 20:56

Brush when it’s wet and full of conditioner, and put in French plats. Then ignore it till next time she needs a hair wash.

I was a child with tangly curls, and now my DD is. From both sides of the equation, it’s really not worth the pain.

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OnlyFoolsnMothers · 27/12/2022 20:57

My daughter is mixed race- we use all the curly hair products and give it a really good brush when smothered with conditioner in the shower. Also have you given her an iPad or tablet eg. when you need to brush it for school

Original poster
hairhelpme · 27/12/2022 20:57

She won't let me brush it, at all. Even with conditioner on it

OP posts:
Original poster
hairhelpme · 27/12/2022 20:58

And she won't brush it herself.

OP posts:
SleekMamma · 27/12/2022 20:58

Only on wet hair, tangle teezer hair brush. Start from the ends, spray leave in conditioner. The Aussie spray is good.

Then do two plaits and you can get a good few days out of a wash & brush.

When it needs replaited just undo the plaits one at a time. 'fake brush' ie just a few strokes with the brush to tidy the start of the plait. Then replait.

Bribe with something on TV and a lollypop. Basically her attention needs to be elsewhere

Beamur · 27/12/2022 20:59

Cut it shorter?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 27/12/2022 20:59

You'll have to cut it short then.

What happens when she starts school and gets nits? Stop pandering to her.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 27/12/2022 21:02

At 5 she is old enough to decide whether she wants to let you comb her hair or have it cut short until she can tolerate brushing.

HermioneWeasley · 27/12/2022 21:05

Cut it short

Original poster
hairhelpme · 27/12/2022 21:05

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 27/12/2022 20:59

You'll have to cut it short then.

What happens when she starts school and gets nits? Stop pandering to her.

Ok so you're saying just brush it while she screams the house down, thanks for the help.
How am I pandering. Would you do something that made your child cry their eyes out?

OP posts:
Original poster
hairhelpme · 27/12/2022 21:05

HermioneWeasley · 27/12/2022 21:05

Cut it short

How would you like me to do that? Put her in a straight jacket?

OP posts:
Original poster
hairhelpme · 27/12/2022 21:05

Beamur · 27/12/2022 20:59

Cut it shorter?

How?

OP posts:
SleekMamma · 27/12/2022 21:06

Well it's either a once a week awfulness and plaits, or short hair. There isn't a miracle solution sorry

HermioneWeasley · 27/12/2022 21:07

@hairhelpme is this a trick question? With scissors - either done at home or at a tolerant hairdresser

Rinatinabina · 27/12/2022 21:07

Tangle teezer and shit tons of conditioner, I mean LOADS. You can also try an oil prewash to make it a bit easier. DD starts shouting even while I’m washing her hair. She’s got thick smooth hair so I can imagine it’s awful with curly hair. Definitely shorter hair.

Original poster
hairhelpme · 27/12/2022 21:07

HermioneWeasley · 27/12/2022 21:07

@hairhelpme is this a trick question? With scissors - either done at home or at a tolerant hairdresser

No it's not a trick question! How do you cut the hair of someone who won't sit for a hair cut

OP posts:
dancemom · 27/12/2022 21:07

What would you do if she screamed the house down about brushing her teeth too?

AndyWarholsPiehole · 27/12/2022 21:08

Can you bribe her to let you get it cut shorter?
Some people do have a very sensitive scalp. Have you tried giving calpol 20 before you attempt to brush?

Original poster
hairhelpme · 27/12/2022 21:09

Original poster - child won't have hair brushed or sit for a hair cut

Replies - cut her hair and brush her hair

Got it.
I'm saying her behaviour is abnormal. She has some issue with this specific sensation. I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this and how it got resolved.

OP posts:
Original poster
hairhelpme · 27/12/2022 21:10

dancemom · 27/12/2022 21:07

What would you do if she screamed the house down about brushing her teeth too?

Brushing teeth doesn't hurt. And if it did, I'd take her to the dentist. Shall I take her to the hair doctor?!

OP posts:
Original poster
hairhelpme · 27/12/2022 21:10

Id take her to the dentist

OP posts:
Original poster
hairhelpme · 27/12/2022 21:10

AndyWarholsPiehole · 27/12/2022 21:08

Can you bribe her to let you get it cut shorter?
Some people do have a very sensitive scalp. Have you tried giving calpol 20 before you attempt to brush?

I have not, this may help thank you.

She's not one for bribes

OP posts:
123woop · 27/12/2022 21:11

Tell her it will just have to be cut short.