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Original poster

Would you say something to someone if you knew they didn’t wash their hands after using the toilet?

321 replies

asblindasabat · 27/12/2022 17:54

On Christmas Day, my MIL Used the downstairs loo but didn’t wash her hands. I know this as our lounge is right beside the toilet and you can always hear the water running when the tap is on, which I didn’t hear. She went in, quickly went about her business, toilet flushed and out she came so it was very obvious.

I was going to ask her if she had forgot to wash her hands but I just couldn’t build the courage to do it! I had an audience and it would probably have looked liked I was starting an argument but I did feel somewhat uncomfortable with someone using the toilet, not washing their hands and then touching objects in my house.

if a guest in your house did this, would you just ignore it or would you just say it as it is?

OP posts:
Shadope · 27/12/2022 23:30

You know some people drink their own urine

Menomenon · 27/12/2022 23:32

Only a meddling, controlling busybody would think it appropriate to ‘call out’ a guest going for a wee.

Onnabugeisha · 27/12/2022 23:36

Shadope · 27/12/2022 23:30

You know some people drink their own urine

Idiots
www.webmd.com/diet/health-benefits-drinking-urine

Original poster
asblindasabat · 27/12/2022 23:41

Menomenon · 27/12/2022 23:32

Only a meddling, controlling busybody would think it appropriate to ‘call out’ a guest going for a wee.

Well that’s complete nonsense. I was going to call her out for not washing her hands after she went for a pee, not for going for a pee. 🙄

OP posts:
Original poster
asblindasabat · 27/12/2022 23:45

Triflenot · 27/12/2022 23:29

I am shocked at the number of people on here defending not hand washing.

me too. I didn’t expect that on MumsNet!

OP posts:
Thistlelass · 27/12/2022 23:50

I would not say anything. We are all entitled to differing standards.

Original poster
asblindasabat · 27/12/2022 23:52

Thistlelass · 27/12/2022 23:50

I would not say anything. We are all entitled to differing standards.

not when it comes to basic hygiene.

OP posts:
Menomenon · 27/12/2022 23:54

asblindasabat · 27/12/2022 23:52

not when it comes to basic hygiene.

Show quote history

Yes, OP, we are. Neither you nor anyone else can control that.

If you really don’t like it, don’t invite them. But at least respect a closed fucking bathroom door.

Original poster
asblindasabat · 27/12/2022 23:56

Menomenon · 27/12/2022 23:54

Yes, OP, we are. Neither you nor anyone else can control that.

If you really don’t like it, don’t invite them. But at least respect a closed fucking bathroom door.

Show quote history

so you’d be ok with someone coming to your house to do a number 2 in the toilet and not washing their hands? That’s disgusting.

OP posts:
Soapboxqueen · 27/12/2022 23:57

I wouldn't say anything.

Mainly because your relationship with your MIL will likely not survive you calling her dirty and embarrassing her in front of friends and family.

I'm a definite handwasher but you need to accept that not everyone does. One of the reasons I hate shaking hands with people 🤢

For all you know she could have gone in to blow her nose and flushed the tissue so didn't feel the need to wash her hands 🤷🏻

Original poster
asblindasabat · 27/12/2022 23:58

Soapboxqueen · 27/12/2022 23:57

I wouldn't say anything.

Mainly because your relationship with your MIL will likely not survive you calling her dirty and embarrassing her in front of friends and family.

I'm a definite handwasher but you need to accept that not everyone does. One of the reasons I hate shaking hands with people 🤢

For all you know she could have gone in to blow her nose and flushed the tissue so didn't feel the need to wash her hands 🤷🏻

It doesn’t mean it’s acceptable though. It really is horrid to think that people go to the toilet and don’t bother washing their hands

OP posts:
SundayGirl86 · 28/12/2022 00:03

This thread is making me feel slightly ill. I can’t believe how many people think it’s okay not to wash their hands after going to the toilet. It’s just vile.

Original poster
asblindasabat · 28/12/2022 00:04

SundayGirl86 · 28/12/2022 00:03

This thread is making me feel slightly ill. I can’t believe how many people think it’s okay not to wash their hands after going to the toilet. It’s just vile.

I totally agree with you. I’m just as shocked as you are tbh.

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 28/12/2022 00:05

asblindasabat · 27/12/2022 23:56

so you’d be ok with someone coming to your house to do a number 2 in the toilet and not washing their hands? That’s disgusting.

Show quote history

Well I’d never know because I let my guests (as long as they’re over age 4 and don’t require my assistance) use the toilet alone and in private. I certainly don’t listen through the door to ensure they wash their hands. If I was listening into my guest using the toilet and didn’t hear the tap I might assume they were using the bathroom for another reason.

Soapboxqueen · 28/12/2022 00:07

asblindasabat · 27/12/2022 23:58

It doesn’t mean it’s acceptable though. It really is horrid to think that people go to the toilet and don’t bother washing their hands

Show quote history

Something being acceptable and accepting that something happens aren't the same thing.

Whether you like it or not, not everyone washes their hands. You have to live with it or shut yourself in a bubble.

As I said in my previous post, you can call your MIL out but it won't end well.

She'll say she did wash her hands, you'll say she didn't because you were listening for the tap. Which will make you sound like you are monitoring people in your toilet. Which you were. Not a good look.

Or she'll say she didn't actual use the loo but again will make it look like you were monitoring people in the loo.

It's highly unlikely she'll say 'yeah, I didn't wash. Ha ha! Got my pissy fingers all over your house 😁👍🏻'

You aren't going to get the outcome you want.

Original poster
asblindasabat · 28/12/2022 00:08

Kanaloa · 28/12/2022 00:05

Well I’d never know because I let my guests (as long as they’re over age 4 and don’t require my assistance) use the toilet alone and in private. I certainly don’t listen through the door to ensure they wash their hands. If I was listening into my guest using the toilet and didn’t hear the tap I might assume they were using the bathroom for another reason.

Show quote history

I wasn’t listening in on her, actually. I was sitting in the lounge and I didn’t hear the tap running, as I said the lounge is close to the toilet and I could hear the toilet flushing but no tap running and then she exited the toilet. Therefore that tells me she didn’t wash her hands.

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 28/12/2022 00:13

asblindasabat · 28/12/2022 00:08

I wasn’t listening in on her, actually. I was sitting in the lounge and I didn’t hear the tap running, as I said the lounge is close to the toilet and I could hear the toilet flushing but no tap running and then she exited the toilet. Therefore that tells me she didn’t wash her hands.

Show quote history

And presumably you were also watching to ensure she did in fact urinate and wasn’t simply adjusting clothing or taking a quiet minute to herself?

Original poster
asblindasabat · 28/12/2022 00:15

Kanaloa · 28/12/2022 00:13

And presumably you were also watching to ensure she did in fact urinate and wasn’t simply adjusting clothing or taking a quiet minute to herself?

Show quote history

If that was the case, I’m not sure why she would be flushing the toilet then.

OP posts:
Menomenon · 28/12/2022 00:15

You were listening to her. Respect her privacy and learn the limits of your control.

Original poster
asblindasabat · 28/12/2022 00:17

Menomenon · 28/12/2022 00:15

You were listening to her. Respect her privacy and learn the limits of your control.

No I wasn’t. Making an observation and deliberately paying attention to something are two different things. I happened to notice the fact that there was no water running and then she exited the toilet. I have the right to be a bit grossed out by it.

OP posts:
Jellybean2023 · 28/12/2022 00:17

I find it gross.
At least rinse them.
I wouldn't say anything though unless it was my DH or I heard them having a poo!
Would have made a ",has everyone washed their hands" comment before dinner though 🤣

Soapboxqueen · 28/12/2022 00:18

asblindasabat · 28/12/2022 00:15

If that was the case, I’m not sure why she would be flushing the toilet then.

Show quote history

Maybe convering for the fact that people are monitoring the loo usage 🤷🏻

Soapboxqueen · 28/12/2022 00:20

Jellybean2023 · 28/12/2022 00:17

I find it gross.
At least rinse them.
I wouldn't say anything though unless it was my DH or I heard them having a poo!
Would have made a ",has everyone washed their hands" comment before dinner though 🤣

I once saw somebody washing only one hand and it really traumatised me 🤣

Not sure why. It's like, what happened to that one hand 🤢

Original poster
asblindasabat · 28/12/2022 00:20

Soapboxqueen · 28/12/2022 00:18

Maybe convering for the fact that people are monitoring the loo usage 🤷🏻

Show quote history

I don’t monitor anyone’s loo usage. If it wasn’t for the fact I was sitting in my lounge, I wouldn’t have known. The toilet flushed, she exited the toilet and came back to the lounge. At that point I realised I didn’t even hear the water running.

OP posts:
Soapboxqueen · 28/12/2022 00:21

asblindasabat · 28/12/2022 00:20

I don’t monitor anyone’s loo usage. If it wasn’t for the fact I was sitting in my lounge, I wouldn’t have known. The toilet flushed, she exited the toilet and came back to the lounge. At that point I realised I didn’t even hear the water running.

Show quote history

The fact that you've stated this whole thread means you have. Whether you intended to or not.