Would you say something to someone if you knew they didn’t wash their hands after using the toilet?

[asblindasabat]

On Christmas Day, my MIL Used the downstairs loo but didn’t wash her hands. I know this as our lounge is right beside the toilet and you can always hear the water running when the tap is on, which I didn’t hear. She went in, quickly went about her business, toilet flushed and out she came so it was very obvious.

I was going to ask her if she had forgot to wash her hands but I just couldn’t build the courage to do it! I had an audience and it would probably have looked liked I was starting an argument but I did feel somewhat uncomfortable with someone using the toilet, not washing their hands and then touching objects in my house.

if a guest in your house did this, would you just ignore it or would you just say it as it is?

Well I can hardly help the fact I was sitting in my living room and happened to hear the toilet flush and no water running. You’re making it sound like I stood outside the bathroom and deliberately listened.

Well if you'd called her out, that's exactly what it would have sounded like to everyone else.

I wouldn’t care. I’d still call her out on it by having an immediate private chat. If she got upset, she’s free to not come over ever again. I’m not having dirty, disgusting troglodytes in my home. Hand washing is non-negotiable.

By mistake? Out of habit? Because she knew you were listening and didn’t want to face the toilet police? Because she’d escaped from you into the toilet and thought she’d better flush so it didn’t look rude that she’d been in there avoiding you?

Were you there? No. And I’ve already clarified in my PP that I was not listening. Just because I heard the toilet flush and observed no water running as I sat in my living room minding my own business does not mean I deliberately went out of my way to listen to her in the toilet. Really weird assumption to make.

Lots of very mean people on this thread.
Maybe she went in to fart, or adjust her bra, or she just needed a tiny break from her hostile daughter in law

I’m not hostile at all, I’m actually very kind. I don’t think being disgusted by her not washing her hands makes me hostile in the slightest

What are you talking about? I never said I was there. You said why would she be flushing the toilet and I offered various reasons why she may have been.

Personally, I don’t observe water running or not when guests use my toilet - I’d go out of my way not to listen if my house was so quiet and living room so close that I could clearly hear every single thing going on in the toilet.

But I suppose good question - did you hear urine trickle into the toilet, plus the crinkle of toilet paper as she used it? When you examined the toilet afterwards, had toilet paper definitely been used? If not then you don’t even know she used the toilet.

Jesus christ, is this post seriously still going on? 🙉

There are some things you can’t help but hear - I can’t just switch my ears off. Your post makes it sound like I was standing outside the toilet door listening to her which is just nonsense as I was sitting in my lounge watching EastEnders and I happened to hear the toilet flush and then caught on to the fact that there was no water running!

Ok, so you didn’t happen to hear her actually urinate or defecate? In which case she may not even have used the toilet. Or your ears which failed you when she urinated may also have failed when she ran the water quietly.

Oh good grief, no I didn’t hear urine trickle nor did I examine any toilet after someone used it 🙄 believe me listening to someone pee isn’t on my list of priorities.

Right, so you don’t even know she went to the toilet. So it’s a big non issue really.

@Kanaloa must think an under stairs loo is like a mini spa retreat. 😆
Its a piss pot in a cupboard, there’s only one reason to go in there.

Good chat this at nearly 1 am 😆😂

No I don’t but I’m only going by the fact I heard the toilet flush. Even if she didn’t actually use the toilet, she still would have pressed the button to make it flush which means you should still wash your hands, IMO.

It's not ideal, but a woman can go in, pull their knickers down, have a wee, pull them back up again, and get nothing on her hands.

I'm much more concerned if a man doesn't wash their hands because they are touching themselves and no doubt urine!

Erm, no. But I am also aware there are other reasons to go into the toilet. Adjusting clothing, taking medication, just wanting a private moment to yourself when overwhelmed etc.

but a woman can go in, pull their knickers down, have a wee, pull them back up again, and get nothing on her hands.

Nothing except for lashings of bacteria.

So...
She went toilet, flushed the toilet, may or may not have used the toilet, may or may not have used toilet paper, most probably didnt wash her hands but could have used her own travel sized hand sanitiser or later went to wash her hands somewhere else?

OP pretty disgusted at lack of water flow to indicate hand washing; wondered if directly asking her would be weird. Most established it would. Most people think its good hygiene to wash hands too but also have no proof she actually used toilet for weeing purposes or simply went to adjust bra or clothing item and simply flushed loo to make it look like she wasn't some weirdo who goes toilet and doesn't flush a loo and then makes a rookie mistake of forgetting to let water run to pretend wash her hands if she didn't use the loo but still wanted to appear like a "nomal" loo visiting person. ...

It's disgusting as you could easily get some shit on your hand that could have been on the loo flush or door handle

At work the toilets are right next to where we make tea and coffee and fairly often I notice people come out of the loo and walk straight past the sink and go back to their work

For this reason I always wash my hands before I eat and after I've used the kettle

So many disgusting, revolting people out there

Gawd! I think I am a loo watcher/listener.

She's an absolute minger but I wouldn't say anything. Id just wipe everything she'd touched with anti bacterial wipes when she left

Yep and febreeze the shit out of her. No pun intended.