Would you say something to someone if you knew they didn’t wash their hands after using the toilet?

[asblindasabat]

On Christmas Day, my MIL Used the downstairs loo but didn’t wash her hands. I know this as our lounge is right beside the toilet and you can always hear the water running when the tap is on, which I didn’t hear. She went in, quickly went about her business, toilet flushed and out she came so it was very obvious.

I was going to ask her if she had forgot to wash her hands but I just couldn’t build the courage to do it! I had an audience and it would probably have looked liked I was starting an argument but I did feel somewhat uncomfortable with someone using the toilet, not washing their hands and then touching objects in my house.

if a guest in your house did this, would you just ignore it or would you just say it as it is?

I’m considering it!

You honestly cant do this, you cant "get" another adult to wash their hands, and it is not normal behaviour to try.

You think she is disgusting, she probably thinks you are disgusting

Just be polite and friendly and dont get into what will be a life long feud, which she will be able to justifiably state you started with extremely weird behaviour

She’s not being polite and friendly by not washing her hands.

and yes I can make her wash her hands, if not, she can leave via the front door!

What would your DH say if you kicked his mother out for not seeming to wash her hands though?

Maybe she gelled her hands - far far more hygienic than touching shared soap or a shared towel, both of which are vectors of pathogenic bacteria.

Maybe she would think you are disgusting for not knowing this about pathogen spread?

I agree completely

That's what I also said before...she could have had her own sanitiser with her

I think people who think gelling is sufficient need to look at infection control guidelines..

No idea - but I’m sure he would back me!

Gelling your hands isn’t enough after using the toilet 🙄🙄🙄🙄

if using the hand towel is a concern for her, she can dry her hands on her trousers. No excuse for not washing her hands.

So you tell me you would also chuck your mother in law out if you feel her hands weren't washed to your standards? Because OP is saying next time she doesn't hear the water running she will ask her to leave.
I'm not saying hand sanitiser is more effective, I'm saying there's multiple things she could have done in the loo such as adjusting her bra etc etc. It's not for OP to police an adult over it.
I personally wash my hands every time I go toilet and I'm very hygienic. But I also know where to pick my battles and wouldn't embarrass my MIL by calling her out and asking her to leave over her hygeine choices.
I'm pretty sure none of you got ill over it when she was staying at your house.
And still wondering what DH thinks of all this because I feel a bit sorry for MIL at this point

Btw, it’s liquid hand wash I have in all my bathrooms, there is no soap bar as I believe they are unhygienic. So, she can’t use that as an Excuse.

Sorry, but if anyone is willing to come Into my house and use the toilet without washing their hands and therefore spreading their germs, they’re out.

You’re right, it’s her choice not to wash her hands but it’s not her choice to do that in my house. She can go and do it in her own house until her heart is content.

why would you feel sorry for her? Why not feel sorry for me? I shouldn’t have to remind another adult to wash their hands.

Do that then- it's your life but you've asked for opinions and you got some.

Yes, I asked what other people would do - i never asked whether I’m being unreasonable or not as I am being very reasonable.

Is it possible she did a quick wash whilst the loo was flushing - so that covered up the sound of the tap, @asblindasabat?

You need camera surveillance. 🤣

Btw, it’s liquid hand wash I have in all my bathrooms, there is no soap bar as I believe they are unhygienic. So, she can’t use that as an Excuse.

You sound nuts. I'm never I'll, I don't wash my hands, what are you scared of. Leave her alone, just because she's not a paranoid clean freak like you

What was the point of asking though? Like if you’re so certain the right thing to do is confront her and kick her out the house then why bother asking what others would do? I never start a thread going ‘would you stop at a red light on the road? I probably will but what would others do?’ I just do what I think I should. So if you think you should confront her/kick her out because you think she went to the toilet and you didn’t hear her wash her hands then just do that.

Have you shared your outrage with your husband? If so, what does he say? 🤔

It’s hardly being a “paranoid clean freak” to be following basic hygiene practices recommended by all the health authorities in the world. Really, you just accept you’re a dirty person.

you never wash your hands and I’m the one that’s nuts?!? Good grief, I don’t think never washing your hands is something to boast about!

He agrees that she should have washed her hands - anyone with common sense would agree, given it’s just basic hygiene.

Asked out of curiosity.

Fine, but does he agree that it’s worth causing a family rift over?