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Original poster

DH told us all to fuck ourselves over dinner

434 replies

mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 15:45

Thought we could make it through the holidays but that crashed and burned today in spectacular style. DH wanted to have the dog in the dining room and I said I'd her her away as she'd been retching and being sick (MIL unintentionally let her eat a whole load of sheep poo) plus she's a puppy which harasses the kids if there's food.

Because I said no and just complained about it he started shouting and telling me to get out of the kitchen but again I said no because I was trying to dish up potato's and veg, bent to pick up some stuffing from the floor so MIL didn't step on it and he went absolutely crazy told me MIL my DF DSis and all DC to fuck ourselves, fuck off, flipped the double finger at us all and took the dog to the pub. Had dinner without him and now he's returned and pretending it never happened in the living room loving on the dog when all he's done is snapped at the children and me today and then blown up.

Happy Christmas everyone!!!

OP posts:
Beercrispsandnuts · 25/12/2022 20:44

mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 19:02

My dad is extremely non confrontational and my mil also wouldn't confront him but yes a full grown man in a temper like that is quite something

But wh6 do you expect them to act when you live like this and take it, and let the kids live like this?

why are you posting op? What do,you want people to say?

Puppers · 25/12/2022 20:45

Having grown up with a father who had a nasty temper and liked to engineer arguments and throw aggressive and frightening rages at Christmas, birthdays, holidays, family occasions - basically any time we were all looking forward to something and being together - I (nowadays) have a zero tolerance policy for shit like this. If my husband did this he'd be gone.

Your marriage doesn't exist in a vacuum. You are showing your children what a marriage looks like. What a family looks like. If he behaves like this - especially since you seem to be saying this is a pattern - and stays, your children are learning that this is acceptable. Acceptable from a partner, but also an acceptable way for them to treat their partner. It's also just a really, really shit environment to grow up in and however well they may appear to cope (as my siblings and I did), the impact is deep and lasts a lifetime. It impacts my day to day life even now.

SouperNoodle · 25/12/2022 20:48

Christmasbird · 25/12/2022 18:21

My God, my Dad would have ended him 😂

Same 😂 he would've hit the deck before he could have got the words "fuck off" out of his mouth

Backtoblack1 · 25/12/2022 20:50

Hugasauras · 25/12/2022 15:57

Have a festive LTB. What a prick.

This!

purplecheesecat · 25/12/2022 20:50

I’m really sorry that this has happened to you and the kids. You need to leave this man, he sounds awful and this is abusive behaviour.

Gemmanorthdevon · 25/12/2022 20:50

OP you don't sound like you have an inkling about your duty to protect?! That duty extends far beyond physical safety, and what he is doing to your children is not on.

HitMeWithAHotNoteAndWatchMeBounce · 25/12/2022 20:53

It’s not funny, you people laughing at how your Dads would have handled it so much better.

Isn’t it ‘funny’ that dickheads who have no issue with confrontation are always surrounded by people who are absolutely terrified of confrontation. So coincidental….

Ragruggers · 25/12/2022 20:55

What are you going to do?I imagine just carry on?Your poor children they will be so upset.Do you actually want to continue with this life.His parents sound useless I can’t imagine parents standing by and letting this happen.I wish you luck and hope you find the strength to finish this terrible relationship.

Greenfairydust · 25/12/2022 21:01

Your husband is an immature, selfish and disrespectful individual.

Doing this in front of his kids is just abysmal. They should be enjoying the day not witnessing their father having a meltdown and behaving like a fool.

I do hope you get rid of him and never give him the chance again to ruin Christmas for everyone.

saraclara · 25/12/2022 21:10

Your children are being traumatised. It's terrifying to have an explosive parent and to be trapped in what should be a safe home.

And on Christmas Day of all days. And not a single adult in their life even acknowledging what just happened, never mind supporting them. They're being taught just to accept aggressive behaviour from someone who's supposed to love and protect them. Guess what kind of adults they'll be if you don't stop this on its tracks, @mourndayclub

Now YOU have to protect them and get that man out of your lives.

SqueakySquirrel · 25/12/2022 21:10

Why are you putting your kids through this? I was that kid and after several completely screwed up Christmases by my father.. I'm middle aged and still scarred by it. You sound so passive. Kick the bastard out.

Original poster
mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 21:11

I've spent the day crying on and off but luckily we're all getting through by having fun playing board games together. He's shut the door to the living room after shouting at people in there he wanted no talking so we're leaving him well alone

OP posts:
Mumsanetta · 25/12/2022 21:15

@mourndayclub you’re just posting and not responding to any questions. What are you hoping for from this thread? Just space to rant?

Miss03852 · 25/12/2022 21:15

Sorry he’s such a dick OP. If you can afford it I’d look at leaving but I understand with the cost of living how difficult it is right now.

Original poster
mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 21:16

Sorry what are the questions? I just wanted to talk to someone about it as it's going to be horrible with everyone already asking me how my Christmas was and will get asked a lot over the next week and I can't face saying nothing about it to everyone

OP posts:
Original poster
mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 21:16

Killing me to say yes great day lovely dinner etc

OP posts:
Miss03852 · 25/12/2022 21:18

Just space to rant?

So what if that’s what she wants? You realise a lot of women are stuck financially even if they do work? Screaming at her to leave him as if it’s THAT EASY for the majority of women is pretty cruel.

Original poster
mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 21:18

It just hurts that it's the day everyone will ask me about and now I have to lie to everyone and no I can't leave right now we'd have no home

OP posts:
gamerchick · 25/12/2022 21:18

mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 21:16

Sorry what are the questions? I just wanted to talk to someone about it as it's going to be horrible with everyone already asking me how my Christmas was and will get asked a lot over the next week and I can't face saying nothing about it to everyone

I think it's something like.... What are you going to do to get your kids from this toxic atmosphere.. at a guess like.

If you just want a poor you, you're probably not on the right place. Unless you're just venting

Miss03852 · 25/12/2022 21:19

mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 21:16

Sorry what are the questions? I just wanted to talk to someone about it as it's going to be horrible with everyone already asking me how my Christmas was and will get asked a lot over the next week and I can't face saying nothing about it to everyone

Honestly it’s way more common than you think for people to have bad Christmases sue to toxic relatives, you don’t have tell everyone if you’re not comfortable.

SqueakySquirrel · 25/12/2022 21:19

That's what hurts you??

saraclara · 25/12/2022 21:19

mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 21:16

Sorry what are the questions? I just wanted to talk to someone about it as it's going to be horrible with everyone already asking me how my Christmas was and will get asked a lot over the next week and I can't face saying nothing about it to everyone

What we're asking is what you're going to do about this situation. How are you going to protect your children from being traumatised? From having a miserable life? From being scared what this man might do or say next?

When are you going to throw him out/leave with your kids?

Original poster
mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 21:20

He doesn't do this every day it's quite rare the last time he blew up at the entire family was last Christmas

OP posts:
Hellybelly84 · 25/12/2022 21:21

mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 19:02

My dad is extremely non confrontational and my mil also wouldn't confront him but yes a full grown man in a temper like that is quite something

That comment alone makes me worry for your kids being raised there. Any option to go and stay elsewhere with the kids after Christmas? I know its not right you being forced to leave but I wouldn’t have my kids in that environment for a second! I’d rather live anywhere than stay there.

gamerchick · 25/12/2022 21:25

Miss03852 · 25/12/2022 21:18

Just space to rant?

So what if that’s what she wants? You realise a lot of women are stuck financially even if they do work? Screaming at her to leave him as if it’s THAT EASY for the majority of women is pretty cruel.

Cruel?

Behind every abuser there is an enabler and usually kids who don't have a voice in the matter.

Keeping them in that shit is what is cruel.

Acknowledgments and making a plan are what's needed. Not minimising and venting.

If there were no kids, I don't give a toss what people put up with personally, if that's their bag.

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