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Original poster

DH told us all to fuck ourselves over dinner

434 replies

mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 15:45

Thought we could make it through the holidays but that crashed and burned today in spectacular style. DH wanted to have the dog in the dining room and I said I'd her her away as she'd been retching and being sick (MIL unintentionally let her eat a whole load of sheep poo) plus she's a puppy which harasses the kids if there's food.

Because I said no and just complained about it he started shouting and telling me to get out of the kitchen but again I said no because I was trying to dish up potato's and veg, bent to pick up some stuffing from the floor so MIL didn't step on it and he went absolutely crazy told me MIL my DF DSis and all DC to fuck ourselves, fuck off, flipped the double finger at us all and took the dog to the pub. Had dinner without him and now he's returned and pretending it never happened in the living room loving on the dog when all he's done is snapped at the children and me today and then blown up.

Happy Christmas everyone!!!

OP posts:
Dexionmagic · 25/12/2022 23:33

mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 21:51

@Miss03852 yes that's right, I have zero financial means to leave

This event may be the trigger that causes you to do some planning and working towards financial independence/an ability to leave if the shit hits the fan even harder.

Do your parents live nearby? Could you all (- ‘D’H of course) as an emergency?

SueVineer · 25/12/2022 23:34

Did you really spend all day in the dining room while he sat in the living room in the huff?

i grew up in an abusive volatile household. It was awful. Stop doing that to your kids.

Soothsayer1 · 25/12/2022 23:35

Is he likely to be violent?
Problem is you are trapped and he sounds like he will make your life a misery unless you obey
play along until you can get shut of him might be the best strategy....but you have to get rid

pictoosh · 25/12/2022 23:36

I hate it when these threads turn into a kicking.
"What are you doing to protect your children?"
It's so often the woman's perceived failing under scrutiny.
Ho hum. Le sigh. Fuck off.

Soothsayer1 · 25/12/2022 23:40

SueVineer · 25/12/2022 23:34

Did you really spend all day in the dining room while he sat in the living room in the huff?

i grew up in an abusive volatile household. It was awful. Stop doing that to your kids.

but how to tackle the ogre?
What should she do? He wont cooperate & can very easily overpower her.
What should she do?
He's not a man that can be reasoned with, he is an ogre

allboysherebutme · 25/12/2022 23:41

Leave him alone today is not the day to sort this out, but I would confront him after Christmas and ask him what is it about Christmas that he feels the need to ruin it, is he jealous because everyone else gets a lot of attention.
I'd also tell him if he does it again next year he will be leaving and not coming back. X

OutDamnedSpot · 25/12/2022 23:42

Have you asked him what he thinks you need to apologise for?

Original poster
mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 23:42

Yes we did, luckily the living room is the far end so we had the kitchen and dining room to play games and eat, he barely came out at all and kept away from everyone and like I said when a couple people tried to sit in the living room he ended up shouting at them to stop talking and be quiet, when mil tried to talk to him he told her to leave him alone

OP posts:
Original poster
mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 23:42

He will say I need to apologise for ruining Christmas Day

OP posts:
ClarathecrosseyedLioness · 25/12/2022 23:42

@Dexionmagic This event may be the trigger that causes you to do some planning and working towards financial independence/an ability to leave if the shit hits the fan even harder.

^ This.

You need to start 'getting your ducks in a row' OP.

I am sorry you are in this situation.

Original poster
mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 23:43

I already know. His crazy blow up was mainly because I wasn't doing as he said and argued back, cleaning the stuffing was then the trigger so yes he will make this my fault

OP posts:
OutDamnedSpot · 25/12/2022 23:45

You know it isn’t though, right?

allboysherebutme · 25/12/2022 23:46

It's not your fault and don't say sorry if he starts again every single one of you grab him, all of you could manage this shove him out the house and lock the door. Give him his wallet, he can fuck off to a hotel. X

beastlyslumber · 25/12/2022 23:49

That's so awful, OP. I would do whatever you need to do to keep yourself and kids safe for now. And work out how you get yourself and them away from him in the long term. It's hard but you will be able to do it. Hopefully you'll have your dad's support (and maybe your MIL's too.) But you can't go on like this.

Cats23 · 25/12/2022 23:50

He sounds awful.
I would actually consider leaving for good after xmas , hope you and Dc are feeling better Am.

youhavenoshameonyourface · 25/12/2022 23:53

mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 23:19

He's just sent me a text asking if I'm ready to apologise

I was just tending your thread and this made me 'gasp out loud' - gol!

Why are some men so absolutely blind to their own outrageous behaviour?
He sounds like he's lost the plot.
Stay strong, you know why Flowers

Ginger1982 · 25/12/2022 23:54

You need to figure out the financial means to leave. Don't be here next Christmas.

youhavenoshameonyourface · 25/12/2022 23:54

*reading

greenteafiend · 25/12/2022 23:55

Whose decision was it to get a dog?
This has "husband wants a dog and expects wife to clean up after it" written all over it.

Soothsayer1 · 25/12/2022 23:57

allboysherebutme · 25/12/2022 23:46

It's not your fault and don't say sorry if he starts again every single one of you grab him, all of you could manage this shove him out the house and lock the door. Give him his wallet, he can fuck off to a hotel. X

I wonder how he would respond to being locked out of the house?
Would he kick the door in, or would he break a window?
And then he'd be back inside blaming her for what he's done, what should she do then, tell the ogre he's grounded for a week?

Aria999 · 26/12/2022 00:05

What is the point of him? Do you even like him?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 26/12/2022 00:07

Why on earth did you let him back in? I"d have double-locked the fucker out.

It just hurts that it's the day everyone will ask me about and now I have to lie to everyone

Dont lie. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are married to an abusive arsehole and if you don't do anything to change this situation, you are not protecting your children. Give yourself a Christmas present and make an appointment to see a solicitor and get a divorce. You have witnesses to his behaviour. His own parents.

So sorry. But don't carry on like this.

Fladdermus · 26/12/2022 00:09

Are you frightened of him OP?

marvellousmaple · 26/12/2022 00:10

Instead of putting your kids to bed can you put them in the car and head to your dad's or MIL's?
Give him time to calm down away from you and make it an "adventure" for the kiddies. Say you want to see your dad on christmas night or something? You could maybe all just head out together and he might not even notice. Take your wallet and any meds , package up some leftovers , grab pillows and blankets and just go. If he turns up at your dad's then call the cops. Gives everyone some breathing space as you really don't want things going downhill from here.
Oh and have my first LTB.
You poor dear. I'm so sorry you married a prick.

marvellousmaple · 26/12/2022 00:12

I wasn't so worried about you until you mentioned he's waiting for an apology. That is really not good. I would definitely be getting out of there. Sounds like he is seething and things are only going to get worse tonight.