DH told us all to fuck ourselves over dinner

[mourndayclub]

Thought we could make it through the holidays but that crashed and burned today in spectacular style. DH wanted to have the dog in the dining room and I said I'd her her away as she'd been retching and being sick (MIL unintentionally let her eat a whole load of sheep poo) plus she's a puppy which harasses the kids if there's food.

Because I said no and just complained about it he started shouting and telling me to get out of the kitchen but again I said no because I was trying to dish up potato's and veg, bent to pick up some stuffing from the floor so MIL didn't step on it and he went absolutely crazy told me MIL my DF DSis and all DC to fuck ourselves, fuck off, flipped the double finger at us all and took the dog to the pub. Had dinner without him and now he's returned and pretending it never happened in the living room loving on the dog when all he's done is snapped at the children and me today and then blown up.

Happy Christmas everyone!!!

either he is an intelligence services operative, and needed an excuse due to a mission or your dh, needs to get a grip and stop acting like kevin, from Kevin and perry.

all the best op

He's a dick which you know OP
Go to bed throw a pillow and blanket at him in his bolt hole of the living room and tell him not to even think about coming into the bedroom.
If he doesn't apologise tomorrow go for a walk with the kids (and the dog) give him the option to shape up or get out

I find it really hard to believe that he's a good man for 364 other days of the year. If he was you or his mum would have asked him why he is being such a knob.

Even if he doesn't blow up all the time I bet he is a dickhead for the rest of year.

As others have said, although it's hard to leave it is possible. You've got to choose what's harder, leaving or knowing that you're quietly watching your children being abused.

I think you need to try to leave regardless of the fact that it’s very difficult financially. Get some advice about how it can be done.

No one deserves this kind of Christmas. What a narcissistic selfish childish boy.
Well done for keeping it cool OP and making the day fun- your kids will remember you being brave.
fight this battle tomorrow- I’d personally leave. If someone spoils a day this special and treats his partner and children on xmas- he’s a horrible person. You and your kids would be better without him

He doesn’t deserve a lovely family. He needs to live and be on his own if he can’t behave like decent person around others particularly children. Your poor kids what lovely childhood memories they will have 🙄

In that case, you know full well he is abusive.

your children have had at least two awful christmases in a row.

do you not work at all? What can you do to het the financial means to leave?

what are you going to change this year so he doesnt escalate again next Christmas and hurt either you or a child?

He's just sent me a text asking if I'm ready to apologise

You couldn't make it up. He really thinks I owe him an apology!!!!

The whole family have been shut out the living room the entire day thanks to him

Why are you surprised?

Now I have the fun of waiting for him to eventually come and find me to ask me for an apology in person, and if I say no he will blow up again

No need to tell me how bad this is I know

Where have you all been? Do you have more than one reception room, or have you been stuck in the kitchen?

Shocking behaviour; get your children away from this situation and change the locks. Awful.

Time to have him sling his hook, with the assistance of the police if necessary.

Ask him if Santa's real, then he has his answer

What are you doing to protect your children from growing up in a house with an abusive man?

I'd have locked the door

OP if you have kids surely there are benefits you could apply for? I’ve been financially trapped with an alcoholic before so know what you’re going through (I didn’t have kids though). I don’t really know what to suggest except try to find a way to leave eventually.

The dining room and upstairs

I can't quite believe an entire extended family is willing to sit back and allow him to behave like that and not say anything about it!!!

No chance would I tolerate that behaviour, even more so in front of children or family. Make your plans and leave, there's always a way!!

Why the hell would you tell lies to people? You tell them literally that you and the family were having a lovely time until DH blew up -out of the blue!! Don't hide his behaviour or you are condoning it!!
Plenty of people don't have perfect Christmas every year - but you can certainly make sure that next years' will be better.
You need time to process what has happened and where you go from here. If you have the children - you could find that he is the one who has to leave not you!! So get help and advice - think rationally about your future and your children.

Could he possibly be a functioning alcoholic and wanted an excuse to get to the pub. ? X

Totally flipping it onto you (if you have been fully accurate in the version of events). Say you would love to apologise but let's put it to a vote and ask the parents? I know it's embarrassing and awkward etc etc but he knows you will just want to smooth and calm things over, so call him out.

Has he an issue with extra people in the house? My hubby gets antsy after a while with extra noise and mess?

I think you need to stand up for yourself, kids and parents. No one should be allowed to act like that on Christmas to their wife, own kids and with guests. He needs a good hammering on the importance of manners. Should have chucked his dinner in the bin.

You need to leave for your own and your children's sake. This man is abusive and volatile. Your local Women's Aid can help you. Please contact them.