A "staying at parents or in-laws" minor gripes thread

[roarfeckingroarr]

There's usually one of these around Christmas with classics like a) constant noise from loud TVs b) not enough food or penis portions served etc. I find them weirdly comforting.

In the spirit of things, I'll say I adore my father, he's a wonderful man and very kind to put up with me and toddler for a few days (before we all haul to mine on Christmas Eve for a few days).

But the heating! All the time! It's boiling! Toddler is running about in a nappy and t shirt. And the routines that cannot be upset. And the noise - constant loud radio or tv.

No doubt my place will seem cold and strange.

Penis portions 😂

I can't moan about heating on because being cold esp in a rich persons house for one day over Xmas feels mean to me ( mil).

FFS, stop moaning and think how lucky dad is to afford the heating

Re penis portions, please get a life - it could mean massive or small, does not make sense.

As soon as I saw the thread title my immediate thought was ‘the heating in my mum’s house’! (and as you said, I love my family to bits but for the love of god, turn it off!)

It is ROASTING. To the point we have to have all the windows open in the room we sleep in, check the radiator is turned off and pick our summer clothes. Meanwhile, mum’s roasting the turkey in a Christmas jumper and thick socks. I get through litres and litres of water staying there and always wake up feeling dry mouthed and vaguely hungover.

Penis portions is a well known phrase on MN for men being served much larger amounts of food and usually first.

And aren't you just full of the Christmas spirit. OP has clearly started a lighthearted thread.

My Mum is the same with heating, and all doors must be shut. 7 of us sat in a living room door shut, and only allowed open for a millisecond for you to enter or leave. Always boiling.

b) not enough food or penis portions served etc. I find them weirdly comforting.

Your Christmas sounds fascinating!

@LadyDanburysHat Yes to all doors shut too! Can’t let any of that heat out!

To be fair we haven’t visited for a while so maybe a perk of current circumstances will mean the heating’s off…

Yes my in-laws house is always roasting. They put the heating on extra “for the kids”, who genuinely seem to be oblivious to the cold anyway. It’s nice to not be cold for a change, but we have to turn off the radiator in our room and open the bedroom window because it’s so hot.

Also yes to the routines set in stone and the tv on deafeningly loud at all times.

I love them though

@LadyDanburysHat

Sorry, new to this as the portions, ex was massive and current is average and I thought what the heck.
Sorry OP and others, I'll take my coat, bye.
Happy Christmas all

There's always one or two...

I didn't realise o needed to caveat with "I know people are freezing so my father is very lucky to have a v insulated house but..." I sort of assumed people on MN are adults and the tone of the thread was obvious.

Humbug

Penis portions means giving the men ( whatever the size of their member) larger portions.

Penis portions = serving more to men, regardless of physical bulk, jobs, pregnancy, age.

Not an issue here but often seem at Christmas on MN. See also the women doing everything but men getting served first.

@Caterina99 yup boiling and loud here, sensory overload. When my dad went out last night I turned off everything and sat in the kitchen with the windows open. It was blissful.

We go to my in-laws and they're lovely people, but you can't relax properly can you? I can't just help myself to picky bits in the fridge when I feel peckish and, not necessarily Christmas, but her idea of breakfast is one slice of (thin-slice) toast, I'm always hungry afterwards. I've started taking my own food with me now and having croissants or bread or something in my luggage.
Also, you only have to put a glass down and she's washed it up, so getting another drink becomes an ordeal.

Penis portions 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🍆🍆🍆

Went to see my Dad recently and was overjoyed to sit in a room that was warm all the time. At my house it's warm socks and blankets.

Normally it's so warm you worry you will slide of the leather sofa because you're sweating so much.

We have family coming to us this year and I'm overjoyed, despite this I'll be relieved when we have the house to ourselves on Tuesday and I can go back to only have to think about meals for 3 people.

😂

I hear you. My mum is a terrible but enthusiastic cook and they all drink too much except me as driving. We play board games and nobody concentrates enough to follow the rules or even be in the room for their turn. Alexa is left unattended so the playlist eventually degenerates into Mongolian dirge music.
We still have a blast.
I am surreptitiously trying to host or supply food a bit more each time we get together.

My parents talking through/over TV programmes (especially Christmas specials) then asking me what’s happening.

“I dont know, Dad. The episode is brand-new.”

I find the 'in-between' times (if that makes sense!) a bit awkward when staying with my in-laws at Christmas.

Mealtimes/trip to the panto/evening walks into town to see the lights - all lovely! It's what to do with myself in between these times I find awkward - When everyone's caught up and there's nothing much to say, MIL & SIL are in the kitchen and don't need any help, DH & FIL are engrossed in football and the kids don't need entertaining. I'd love to go off and read/watch TV in.our room for an hour but if I do that MIL worries if I'm ok, if I stay downstairs I feel I have to be 'on' all the time, being asked what I'm watching/reading, anecdotes about football that I don't get😳

Is it just me? I can spend hours in my own house just pottering/chilling, but it's very different in someone else's!! (They're very hospitable btw, I just can't be constantly 'on' for 4 days, I'm sociable but a bit introverted!

My mum does not talking for a single millisecond. If she's not asleep she's talking. An endless monologue of stories we've heard before/about people we don't know/about small town mundanity.

Did you know that I used to go to primary school with a man who is now a postie for the village 2 villages over? That so and so in the co-op is having pork for lunch? Pork? What a disgrace.

Don’t get the hate for heating. Don’t people like being warm?

My ILs are actually here and I am counting the hours till tomorrow when they leave.

Gripes include -

Never shut up about their politics
Make a mess everywhere
I genuinely struggle to eat at the same table as MIL as she is hands down the most disgusting eater I have ever met and I do not know how she produces the noises she does
Only interested in DH and largely ignore me or dcs.

If there is a problem with the trains tomorrow I will drive them home myself.

@PumpkinsandSpice in that situation I’d bring a big Christmas jigsaw or puzzle book, something that you can crack on with but lends itself to other people chipping in. You can head off any football anecdotes with crossword clues.

My PILs are great.

But for reasons unknown (and unrelated to diet) I just can't poo in their house. I can live with that if it's just one night. Longer and I have to pack laxatives

A few years ago, there was a whole thread about this phenomenon!

@PumpkinsandSpice I know exactly what you mean. I adore my in-laws but twenty years in and I still feel a bit that way, silly really as they'd probably be gutted to hear that. Also I'm not a great cook and my standards for cleaning and tidying are definitely lower than theirs so I never feel comfortable just getting stuck in in the kitchen. Love when there's a load of washing up to be done and I can be useful and occupied for a bit!

They come to us these days and entertain our young DC which I find much easier.