A "staying at parents or in-laws" minor gripes thread

[roarfeckingroarr]

There's usually one of these around Christmas with classics like a) constant noise from loud TVs b) not enough food or penis portions served etc. I find them weirdly comforting.

In the spirit of things, I'll say I adore my father, he's a wonderful man and very kind to put up with me and toddler for a few days (before we all haul to mine on Christmas Eve for a few days).

But the heating! All the time! It's boiling! Toddler is running about in a nappy and t shirt. And the routines that cannot be upset. And the noise - constant loud radio or tv.

No doubt my place will seem cold and strange.

Oh the heating.
Yes, just for the sanctimonious humbugs - my parents are really lucky to have enough money to heat the house.
However, I go to my parents in summer clothes in the middle of winter.
After a few glasses of wine we get a bit brave and stealthily crack a window or two before we pass out from heat exhaustion.

Why are you even on this thread?
just to be unpleasant ?
gosh life must be a barrel of laughs in your house!

My parents do penis portions too. I've not heard it called that before.
My Dad would have a face like a slapped arse if he didn't get his meal first.
My mil is the worst for that though, giving my dp a bigger portion because he works (I do too) and his is bigger than mine because she suspects that I would be on a diet.

“Mongolian dirge music” actually made me laugh out loud 🤣🤣

@BeastOfBODMAS that’s a great idea. I think I’ll do that one.

Similar issues, but I’ve got out of Christmas as I’m due any day, on bed rest and need to be close to the hospital.

Gripes from previous Christmas’s include;

*Bland over cooked food (I’m from a Mediterranean family who are amazing cooks and hosts)
*Not enough food, so you have to pack extra to sneak off into your room and eat
*Invasive and hurtful comments questions from ghastly pils and granny
*sexist/racist conversation from pils
*blaring telly all day
*no escape to read or have a siesta when it gets too much,otherwise you will be told you’re ‘strange and rude’
*fake tree with Mrs Hinch style decorations, which is fine but I’m used to and love a real tree with a chaos of family decorations that have built up over the years
*scented candles that give me nose bleeds and migraines (but told to suck it up when told I’m allergic)
*food groups I have allergies to, in the main Christmas dishes, so I end up (as a carnivore) eating boiled vegetables as the only safe option.
*moaning when I go to midnight mass the day before with dp as they are atheists (even though it’s the reason for the season and it’s my culture)

However I’ll never attend again, once my baby is here, I’ll be doing family Christmases at home from now on.

Not being allowed to watch tv at PIL. My grandparents were the same, until my Dad put his foot down and said for his sanity he needed all the kids parked in front of the tv for a Disney film so the adults had a moment of calm.

Meals at random times and not feeling welcome to get a snack.

If it was warm it wouldn't be a problem. When my Mum was at home it was unbearably hot all the time.

I’ll preface this by saying I love in my laws and they are incredibly kind and generous with their time, energy and home.

However, one (totally acceptable) rule they have is our dog stays downstairs. So I feel obliged to stay downstairs too, to keep an eye, when I’d really rather be taking a breather/nap in the bedroom with my Christmas chocs and a new book 🤣

Also, their new build house is as hot as the sun compared to our old stone cottage.

I get sick with a migraine every time I go to my mums. She keeps the house at 23-25c and bitches if it goes lower. I like it no hotter than 17-18c it I feel like I'm being suffocated. Heat makes me so ill.

Don't even get me started on them never shutting the curtains to keep the bloody bills down.

I'm so glad I only go once a year or two! 😂

I love Christmas, but the older I get the more annoyed/resentful I get.

Messaged Mum and Dad a pic of the nice desserts we've bought for Christmas lunch. We never have stuff like that generally, and it was met with "over indulgence" comments from Mum. I'm crabby this year as I've been really unwell this last week and still aren't well and not once have they offered to host to take some of the pressure off. The house is a tip and the food I've bought is unreasonable.

I'm particularly gripey, as as usual my brother gets away with announcing they're having Christmas at home this year, with girlfriend and new baby - nothing said.

I have to jump through hoops to make Christmas work or I'd never hear the end of it.

Is it beyond your imagination that a room might be too warm? Or don't you have a limit? Do you sit there, comfortable at 45 degrees?

Bedrooms too warm is a particular irritant as it's standard advice to keep bedrooms cooler to help sleep.

I find my family way more annoying than my family. For numerous reasons:

-my mum is obsessed with closing doors. Doesn’t work that well at our house, as we have 3 cats that want to be in and out all the time. Plus they gave to be SLAMMED hard, they can’t just be closed 🙄
-none of my family like driving much and often like a drink. Its all a bit much when l have driven half way up the country to them AND then they expect l drive people round. I put my foot down but it doesn’t go down well… They also want driving round when they come to visit me
-TV on ALL the time, normally total crap
-some designated family members don’t have to help at all and some others do (that is me obviously!). For clarity they have no additional needs but are either lazy or belligerent
-get up stupidly early and wake the house. Then want to go to bed at 8pm. Again not physically ill or even elderly, just weird body clocks they want to try to enforce on others

Sounds familiar to me! My brother attends it’s the 2nd coming and world of spoiling. I attend then chores tried to get to get allocated to me before lm even out of the car e.g. just driven half way up the country and immediately get asked to go to the shop for random stuff. Rest of the house have been relaxing all day

He DOESN’T attend and that’s fine to. But if l don’t then lm “not making enough effort”.

How do you get a jumper and socks on a turkey?

Foxtrot

This is why we don't go to MIL's house anymore! So hot, tv on constantly. I was actually sick one year from overheating.
And it gets worse when all the family are squeezed in together in a 2 bed semi. 3 couples and 6 children don't fit in a small front room!

Just politely ask if the hearing can be turned down.

*heating

My mil does the ooh I'm ditsy and I've forgotten to buy veg/make gravy/stuffing etc. When I start doing it she suddenly gets very un-ditsy and belts out exacting instructions, last time it was to cut the skin off a cucumber in stripes wtf.

I’m going to my mums for the first time in three years due to covid I’m so excited but

1. the heating!!!! It’s insane. I’m a cold person and even I have woken up in the middle of the night pouring with sweat due to how she keeps it
2. I appreciate she has kept “my room” as such, however she very briefly during lockdowns got into upcycling furniture. All the half finished stuff is in my room. It’s like an episode of ninja warrior going to the loo in the night
3. the slightly annoying refusing any help and shooing you out of the kitchen, and then getting annoyed there’s no help

This is my MIL. I think I’ve done pretty well listening to the same old anecdotes about the old days when she still worked/about what happened when BIL came back to the U.K. for a visit in 2010, but something clicked in me this year and now I want to scream into a pillow when she starts. Like you say it’s an endless monologue. I used to try to join in with the conversation but she’d literally look at me as proverbial tumbleweeds rolled across the room.

Genuinely laughed out loud at that, thank you! I really needed that, it’s my birthday and I feel hideous with the flu!

For me it’s food timings. In-laws have breakfast about 10am, then nothing until they go to the pub at 7pm for a few pints (no food at pub), then back home for massive meal at 11pm.

DH warned me what they are like. and also that if you ask for food in afternoon they get really offended.

There is no way I could cope with drinking on an empty stomach. So we go for a walk at 4pm, but actually we go to a garage and eat a sandwich and crisps sitting in a bench in December!