A "staying at parents or in-laws" minor gripes thread

[roarfeckingroarr]

There's usually one of these around Christmas with classics like a) constant noise from loud TVs b) not enough food or penis portions served etc. I find them weirdly comforting.

In the spirit of things, I'll say I adore my father, he's a wonderful man and very kind to put up with me and toddler for a few days (before we all haul to mine on Christmas Eve for a few days).

But the heating! All the time! It's boiling! Toddler is running about in a nappy and t shirt. And the routines that cannot be upset. And the noise - constant loud radio or tv.

No doubt my place will seem cold and strange.

It’s the set in stone routines and inability to be direct about what my parents want/don’t want that drives me nuts. We’re with them at the moment. They get so excited about having us and say they want to spend time with the kids and they’ll have them if we want to go out. Then passive aggressively indicate that it’s all been too tiring. I’m not feeling well. Currently shivering on sofa parenting my kids via a tv. DM is sitting in another room on her iPad. It would be lovely if she could just do that here whilst I have a nap. But if I ask I know my DF will moan about it later so I’ll sit it out till DH gets home. But she’s not too tired to go and do completely unnecessary housekeeping. Including taking laundry out of our room
which I said I’d do later and then huffing about how much she has to do.

We don't sleep at ils but visit weekly i love them but the tv is soo loud. They not even hard of hearing but they like to hear it if making tea in kitchen.

Has anyone mentioned the bins/recycling yet?

We have bins at in the kitchen for recycling, compost and landfill and small bins in the bathroom, bedrooms etc and somehow get through a whole year without having a conversation about them.

Go to my mum's and and it was a constant topic, as she had this elaborate system of piles on the side which then got moved into bags on the side before their final journey to the bin outside.

The procedure has to be talked through and checked for every bit of waste with a countdown to the day that it would be collected.

Another vote for the temperature. We are at PIL’s house, arrived yesterday. I have never been so warm indoors in my life. Granted, we’re in Michigan and it’s -19 and snow drifts outside; but when you find yourself offering to go out and shovel the driveway in -19 temperatures just to cool down, you know it’s gotten bad!

I forgot about MIL dishing up. ‘How hungry are you?’ What am I meant to say to that? 76% hungry? It’s a tricky question for women as well because society expect us to have no appetite and eat like sparrows, so I never feel I can say ‘yes, I’m bloody hungry, load me up. Just give me a normal plate full and I’ll leave what I don’t want.

I have bought 30 pigs in blankets for 7 people 🤣 they will be demolished

@Pugtails I have gone to the shop for more :)

@KnottyKnitting a tip we learned early on re hearing aids- ALWAYS have a card of hearing aid batteries in the house. Both me and my sis used to have one in the house and one in our handbags as DM went into "transmit" mode (loudly) when she couldn't hear!

Also, not a gripe at PIL’s but the location: because it’s suburban Michigan, it’s - literally - virtually impossible to walk anywhere here. There are no pavements. I’d love to just wander a mile up the road to McDonalds for a cup of coffee, or to Meijer for a random browse, just to get out; but the last time I went for a walk when we were in earlier this year, several concerned neighbours came to their porches to ask if I was lost and whether my car had broken down somewhere!

We don't even stay over but oh yes going to my parents for the evening we have to literally dress in summer clothes the temperature is unbearable i always leave with a pounding headache but don't dare crack open th door let alone the window because of THE DRAFT

'Penis portions' 🤣

I hear your pain (pun intended) on loud televisions. I am hearing impaired and my TV is LOUD plus subtitles and, before someone asks why: (a) subtitles often lag and can be inaccurate (b)I would rather see/hear lines performed where possible rather than read but context/delivery means that isn't always possible (c) tone + dialogue = clarity. Anyway, I'm 50s my MIL, 80s complains it's too loud and gets annoyed about the subtitles being on!

This is both hilarious and touching in equal measure.
So nicely written and I just love the detail, especially the ice cubes!

Ha ha this is hilarious Penis portions = serving more to men, regardless of physical bulk, jobs, pregnancy, age.

MIL insists on 'changing the air' every day by opening the windows even if it's freezing. So after a shower in a freezing bathroom I often return to our bedroom to find the windows have been opened and I freeze my tits off while getting dressed. I understand airing out the house every couple of days, preferably happening when people are out of the house, but it doesn't need to happen every morning in the dead of winter surely?

My parents buy these hippie essential oil solid shampoo bars that just don't work for my naturally oily hair. I can never tell the soap, shampoo and conditioner apart and I'm sitting here with my head all claggy because it's impossible to rinse it out properly. It's alright for them, my mum has a pixie cut and my dad is bald!

On the plus side my dad seems to have stopped rolling his eyes and going "why don't you read something good?" whenever I pull out a chick lit bestseller from WHSmith, and they no longer insist that seven miles is 'just a short walk' to be undertaken daily. So I'm grateful for small mercies

@LadyDanburysHat · Today 09:46
July70 · Today 09:42
FFS, stop moaning and think how lucky dad is to afford the heating
Re penis portions, please get a life - it could mean massive or small, does not make sense.
Penis portions is a well known phrase on MN for men being served much larger amounts of food and usually first.
And aren't you just full of the Christmas spirit. OP has clearly started a lighthearted thread.
My Mum is the same with heating, and all doors must be shut. 7 of us sat in a living room door shut, and only allowed open for a millisecond for you to enter or leave. Always boiling.

Nah I 'm not having that

Neither my mil or DP drink (just don't like the taste apparently), so there is no alcohol available. I like a glass of wine or two, not a big drinker, but like a glass with a special meal or in the evening sometimes. I brought some of those little bottles of wine and prosecco along. Only had one, and when I went back the next time (a few weeks later) they'd been thrown out!
Obviously it's not a big problem, but I buy the drinks they particularly like (specialist tea etc).

@FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar My nan used to offer everyone a sherry. I actually bought a bottle this year. 🙂I also iced my Christmas cake in big royal icing waves and stuck little plastic robins and trees on the top in honour of my mum. I think Christmas is partially about remembering and solidifying the best bits of the past.

This is so relatable

We also go for naps

What is it with other people's showers? They never work properly when I visit!
There's always something as well that you have to have a "knack" to use - bathroom door handle, kitchen bin, oven switch - ooh, there's a knack to that!

You are absolutely right and you have captured it so poignantly.
Enjoy the sherry and home made cake!

That’s lovely. You’ve both made me a bit teary.

The heat in my in-laws house means my glasses get steamed all the time.

Like this? Page 174 of the St Michael cookbook.

My mother still has the single beds from when we were children in our old rooms, which are now also the spare rooms of course. This means that me and my 6'6" partner have to sleep on the floor - either on two single mattresses of different heights and firmness pushed together, or on a compact double air bed which slowly deflates overnight and deposits you on the floor.

Every year she says she'll get double beds "because it's not fun for guests to have to sleep separately on single beds". Every year.