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Original poster

Husband hasn't come home

576 replies

blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 07:17

I need advice please- my husband went out for his work night out last night and just hasn't come back. He told me the arrangement was that work would pay for a taxi home, then I would drive him back to collect his car today.

I last heard from him at around 6pm yesterday evening and not a dicky bird since. Sent him a message asking if he was having a good time at around 11pm, he hasn't read it. I thought that was odd as he would usually message me once or twice during the evening or at least let me know if he was planning on being late, and I would do the same. But I wasn't too worried and just went to sleep- assumed he was having a dance and a drink and a nice time. Got a sick toddler and I have the lurgy too so I was knackered.

I've just woken up and he isn't home, his phone rings when I call. WhatsApp messages are on one tick.

I'm absolutely frantic, this is really, REALLY unusual behaviour. He's a real home bird, not a big drinker normally (although has his moments) and likes his colleagues very much but isn't particularly close friends with them. He's just not someone who would stay out all night unexpectedly without saying ANYTHING, and I know he has battery because his phone rings. What do I do???

OP posts:
Haveahappyholiday · 22/12/2022 07:50

I was stranded once after an event and my phone died. I walked for ages and ages and came across a garage and asked to use the phone in there.

Original poster
blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 07:50

VioletPickles · 22/12/2022 07:49

What car park was it, that was so locked up he couldn’t sit in car/charge phone?

God knows. But I'll be finding out!

OP posts:
e11even · 22/12/2022 07:50

Re the WhatsApp call, I think this will ring even if the phone is off - well it will actually say "calling" if it doesn't connect and it will say "ringing" if it does connect for future reference

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Relationship problems
Littlebelina · 22/12/2022 07:51

Yes, WhatsApp still rings if phone is unavailable. DS managed to switch his phone off, ringing it old school went to voicemail but WhatsApp kept ringing.

Shemovesshemoves21 · 22/12/2022 07:51

VioletPickles · 22/12/2022 07:47

Sounds dubious, but only you op know if that’s a likely story. I’m sure phones don’t ring if out of battery though, don’t they go straight to voicemail? And the one tick what’s app means delivered but not opened.

Could he not have got a taxi anyway and paid when he got home?

1 tick means it was sent. 2 ticks delivered and 2 blue ticks is delivered and read. Still, his phone wouldn't be ringing if it were out of battery.

pensionconfusion · 22/12/2022 07:52

He could have walked in to a hotel and asked to use the phone?

WhatIsThisPlease · 22/12/2022 07:52

VioletPickles · 22/12/2022 07:47

Sounds dubious, but only you op know if that’s a likely story. I’m sure phones don’t ring if out of battery though, don’t they go straight to voicemail? And the one tick what’s app means delivered but not opened.

Could he not have got a taxi anyway and paid when he got home?

One tick means it's 'left' your phone
Two ticks means delivered
Two blue ticks means read

User963 · 22/12/2022 07:52

blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 07:43

Thank fuck, I've located him. He just rang me in floods, he (apparently) decided not to drink so he could come home tonight, went to get his car at some ridiculous time of night and the car park was locked. He says his phone ran out of battery so he couldn't call a taxi/call me etc so he's been waiting for the car park to reopen 🧐

It all seems bizarre as his phone was ringing, I don't know if the fact I was WhatsApp calling him makes a difference. To be fair, he is not the sort of man who would kip on a friend's sofa and EXACTLY the kind of man who would get his car locked inside a car park and wander the streets looking sad for six hours.

Thanks so much to everyone for helping me, I was absolutely shitting myself.

WhatsApp does ring even of
Your phone is off. I’ve had to explain to DS to use the phone app rather than WhatsApp if he wants to phone a friend and find out if their battery is dead.

clpsmum · 22/12/2022 07:52

I'm afraid I think you are being very naive. His story is a load of a crap and more fool you if you fall for it

Kedece2410 · 22/12/2022 07:52

And the one tick what’s app means delivered but not opened

No one tick means it's been sent but not delivered. Two grey ticks means it's been delivered

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 22/12/2022 07:52

pensionconfusion · 22/12/2022 07:52

He could have walked in to a hotel and asked to use the phone?

A hotel would have had spare chargers too, so he could have charged his phone.

upfucked · 22/12/2022 07:53

blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 07:43

Thank fuck, I've located him. He just rang me in floods, he (apparently) decided not to drink so he could come home tonight, went to get his car at some ridiculous time of night and the car park was locked. He says his phone ran out of battery so he couldn't call a taxi/call me etc so he's been waiting for the car park to reopen 🧐

It all seems bizarre as his phone was ringing, I don't know if the fact I was WhatsApp calling him makes a difference. To be fair, he is not the sort of man who would kip on a friend's sofa and EXACTLY the kind of man who would get his car locked inside a car park and wander the streets looking sad for six hours.

Thanks so much to everyone for helping me, I was absolutely shitting myself.

But he was getting a taxi home so he was coming home!

clpsmum · 22/12/2022 07:53

pensionconfusion · 22/12/2022 07:52

He could have walked in to a hotel and asked to use the phone?

Or asked them to call him a cab

Newwardrobe · 22/12/2022 07:53

My dd has had her car locked in her works car park before so it is feasible.

Insertusernamehere123 · 22/12/2022 07:54

Not sure if it's already been said but if you're using whatsapp, it still rings even if the phone you're calling is off. This is in my experience.

The rest of the story does sound odd though. I don't know anyone who would choose to wait 6 hours overnight in this weather over getting a taxi home.

clpsmum · 22/12/2022 07:55

And even car leak that are locked open before 7:30am

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 22/12/2022 07:55

Newwardrobe · 22/12/2022 07:53

My dd has had her car locked in her works car park before so it is feasible.

It's not "the car was locked in" bit that's unbelievable.

It's that a sober person then thought "I know, I'll just hang around outside the car park for 7 hours til it reoopens"

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 22/12/2022 07:55

Which carpark did he use? Their opening hours are usually online.

Qwayserdeyas · 22/12/2022 07:55

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SheenaShoemaker · 22/12/2022 07:56

Op, people all do weird stuff at Xmas parties. Is he the sort to do anything dodgy?

evilharpy · 22/12/2022 07:56

Just to concur with others, if a phone is out of battery or out of signal, it'll still ring from the caller's end on a whatsapp call. We live in an area of patchy 4G coverage and this happens regularly when one of us tries to call the other.

If this happened to my husband he couldn't even call me from an hotel or someone else's phone as he wouldn't have a clue what my number was - it's always been saved to his phone so he's never had to remember it.

clpsmum · 22/12/2022 07:56

And if the car park was locked it still doesn't make sense as the plan was to get a taxi home and go back for the car today so why didn't he. Don't fall for the lies OP

Original poster
blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 07:57

I'm somewhat suspicious too, and absolutely flabbergasted. On the other hand, it's difficult to describe what my DH is like but he's quite odd in the way he makes decisions. Just generally in life, solutions to problems that you would think would be obvious just don't occur to him. And he has terrible social anxiety with people he doesn't know- he'll do almost anything to avoid talking to people he doesn't know so I think he would have preferred to walk around for six hours than talk to a stranger and ask to use their phone.

Fucking hell.

OP posts:
FixTheBone · 22/12/2022 07:57

I've managed to get my car locked in a secure carpark as well. At work, finishing later than expected, Pain in the arse.

BigsyMalone · 22/12/2022 07:57

Sorry OP but your DH sounds so odd. I am sure he is lovely. But who just waits outside a car park?!?!? ALL night!!??