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Original poster

Husband hasn't come home

576 replies

blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 07:17

I need advice please- my husband went out for his work night out last night and just hasn't come back. He told me the arrangement was that work would pay for a taxi home, then I would drive him back to collect his car today.

I last heard from him at around 6pm yesterday evening and not a dicky bird since. Sent him a message asking if he was having a good time at around 11pm, he hasn't read it. I thought that was odd as he would usually message me once or twice during the evening or at least let me know if he was planning on being late, and I would do the same. But I wasn't too worried and just went to sleep- assumed he was having a dance and a drink and a nice time. Got a sick toddler and I have the lurgy too so I was knackered.

I've just woken up and he isn't home, his phone rings when I call. WhatsApp messages are on one tick.

I'm absolutely frantic, this is really, REALLY unusual behaviour. He's a real home bird, not a big drinker normally (although has his moments) and likes his colleagues very much but isn't particularly close friends with them. He's just not someone who would stay out all night unexpectedly without saying ANYTHING, and I know he has battery because his phone rings. What do I do???

OP posts:
LadyPenelope68 · 22/12/2022 07:34

Hopefully he’s just got a bit too drunk and stayed at a colleagues house, but I totally understand why you’re worried if it’s so out of character.

TimeForMeToF1y · 22/12/2022 07:34

Can you log into his work computer and message the others who were there?

Original poster
blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 07:34

I'm trying to find contact numbers for his colleagues, is it acceptable to contact his boss??? I was going to do some freelancing for her a while back so I happen to have her email address

OP posts:

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BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 22/12/2022 07:35

Was he due to work today?

Original poster
blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 07:35

TimeForMeToF1y · 22/12/2022 07:34

Can you log into his work computer and message the others who were there?

Genius I'll try

OP posts:
ivfbabymomma1 · 22/12/2022 07:35

Yes I'd call his work if he doesn't show up to start. How worrying for you! He's definitely crashed at someone's house but still

JuneOsborne · 22/12/2022 07:35

Can you get into his works laptop? Open Teams and find his manager? Or an email with his managers number on?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 22/12/2022 07:36

Yes I'd email

"Hope you don't mind but this is so out of character - did X get into a work taxi last night? He isn't home, and I was just going to check in with the taxi firm see where they dropped him"

Mumof1forNow · 22/12/2022 07:36

Hiya hun I didnt want to read and run, you must be extremely worried but try to remain level headed. My hubby once did this when I was pregnant with my daughter. He'd gone out with friends for a chilling session and I'd assumed he'd be home early hours so went to bed without worrying. We lived with the in laws at the time and I'd woke up about 6 in the morning and he wasn't in bed when I woke up. I checked downstairs, checked all over thr house, checked to see if his car was outside, but nothing. I ran to my mother in laws room hysterical crying, she called my brother in law who kept calling my husband until he answered. Turns out he'd bloody fallen asleep in his car lol! He never did it again after seeing how worried we all were. I hope you hear from him soon hun. Please keep us updated x

Cinderella1 · 22/12/2022 07:38

Why don't you wait just a bit longer - say until 8am, and see if he does turn up to help with your appointment? Then I'd contact his boss, if that's the only work contact you have. I understand your worry, though!

Notatallanamechange · 22/12/2022 07:38

JuneOsborne · 22/12/2022 07:35

Can you get into his works laptop? Open Teams and find his manager? Or an email with his managers number on?

If everything is fine (which it more than likely is and he’s just got a bit too drunk) he could get in serious trouble if you can access his company device and Teams. Surely the computer should be password protected. Please email rather than accessing it.

theswoot · 22/12/2022 07:38

This is so scary OP, hope he’s home soon and all is well.

Just a note that I have the sort of job where unauthorised access of my work laptop is a criminal offence so just be mindful of this option, particularly if it’s password protected. If you have his boss’s email address anyway I would get in touch via that method and mark it urgent.

Highlyflavouredgravy · 22/12/2022 07:39

Omg
I would be worried sick too

Definitely try and contact his boss

hoowhoo · 22/12/2022 07:39

I would wait a bit longer before you embarrass him in front of his colleagues - give it until 9am

Newnamefor2021 · 22/12/2022 07:40

Totally understand why you would be worried! Hope you get answers soon.

Therapee · 22/12/2022 07:40

How stressful for you! There have been many threads like this over the years (non-party-animal DH goes AWOL during/after a rare night out) , and I don't remember seeing a single one with a bad ending.

If he was with other people, they'd have let you know if anything bad had happened to him. Or you'd have heard from the police.

It's highly likely he's got unexpectedly drunk, and has crashed with a colleague.

I imagine you'll be furious when he gets home and you've got past the panic!

Invisimamma · 22/12/2022 07:40

Does he have an iPhone? Can you use the find my phone feature to track that.
I'd be so worried too but there is probably an explanation and he's drank too much, lost his phone and fell asleep on someone's couch.

GooseberryCinnamonYogurt · 22/12/2022 07:41

Have you find a friend on yours/his phone?

YukoandHiro · 22/12/2022 07:42

Wait til his workplace opens and speak to them first. Then if they don't know try hospitals.
You can also report to police but I'm afraid they wont take any serious interest until it's been about 48 hours when it's a non-vulnerable male.

Roselilly36 · 22/12/2022 07:42

Try not to worry OP, I wouldn’t be contacting anyone just yet, especially not who he works with, that would be embarrassing. No news is this situation is usually good news. Just hold on for a little longer, I expect he has the hangover from hell and will be full of apologies this morning. Sorry you have been worried OP.

YerAWizardHarry · 22/12/2022 07:43

Why are people assuming his workplace have a contact number? She said they work from home and have no premises.. lots of lines of work don’t have a publicly available phone number

YukoandHiro · 22/12/2022 07:43

Yes it's acceptable to contact the boss

Original poster
blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 07:43

Thank fuck, I've located him. He just rang me in floods, he (apparently) decided not to drink so he could come home tonight, went to get his car at some ridiculous time of night and the car park was locked. He says his phone ran out of battery so he couldn't call a taxi/call me etc so he's been waiting for the car park to reopen 🧐

It all seems bizarre as his phone was ringing, I don't know if the fact I was WhatsApp calling him makes a difference. To be fair, he is not the sort of man who would kip on a friend's sofa and EXACTLY the kind of man who would get his car locked inside a car park and wander the streets looking sad for six hours.

Thanks so much to everyone for helping me, I was absolutely shitting myself.

OP posts:
IhearyouClemFandango · 22/12/2022 07:45

🤔

WimbyAce · 22/12/2022 07:45

Where has he been all night then?