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Original poster

Husband hasn't come home

576 replies

blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 07:17

I need advice please- my husband went out for his work night out last night and just hasn't come back. He told me the arrangement was that work would pay for a taxi home, then I would drive him back to collect his car today.

I last heard from him at around 6pm yesterday evening and not a dicky bird since. Sent him a message asking if he was having a good time at around 11pm, he hasn't read it. I thought that was odd as he would usually message me once or twice during the evening or at least let me know if he was planning on being late, and I would do the same. But I wasn't too worried and just went to sleep- assumed he was having a dance and a drink and a nice time. Got a sick toddler and I have the lurgy too so I was knackered.

I've just woken up and he isn't home, his phone rings when I call. WhatsApp messages are on one tick.

I'm absolutely frantic, this is really, REALLY unusual behaviour. He's a real home bird, not a big drinker normally (although has his moments) and likes his colleagues very much but isn't particularly close friends with them. He's just not someone who would stay out all night unexpectedly without saying ANYTHING, and I know he has battery because his phone rings. What do I do???

OP posts:
90yomakeuproom · 22/12/2022 07:45

So glad you've found him but that story would be suspicious to me. Was there no way he could have got a taxi home? Buy him a phone charger for his car.

Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 22/12/2022 07:46

How did he call you if his phone was dead/why didn’t he find a way to contact you before.

Did the messages show as delivered?

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 22/12/2022 07:47

If his phone ran out of battery, how is he calling you now?

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theswoot · 22/12/2022 07:47

@90yomakeuproom wouldn’t have made much difference in this scenario as his car is locked in a car park and he couldn’t get to it!

Shemovesshemoves21 · 22/12/2022 07:47

Glad he's contacted you, but I smell a rat.

VioletPickles · 22/12/2022 07:47

Sounds dubious, but only you op know if that’s a likely story. I’m sure phones don’t ring if out of battery though, don’t they go straight to voicemail? And the one tick what’s app means delivered but not opened.

Could he not have got a taxi anyway and paid when he got home?

YukoandHiro · 22/12/2022 07:47

Well I'm so glad he's safe.
But that doesn't stack up at all. If his battery died it wouldn't ring out, it would go straight to VM.
And why didn't he walk to a place where he could hire a mini cab? Presumably his wallet didn't run out of battery.
How far away was he? More than an hour's walk from your house? Why couldn't he walk home and get a cab back in the AM to pick up the car?

Original poster
blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 07:47

Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 22/12/2022 07:46

How did he call you if his phone was dead/why didn’t he find a way to contact you before.

Did the messages show as delivered?

He says the car park opened so he went in, got his car and charged his phone using the car charger

OP posts:
safefirst · 22/12/2022 07:47

WhatsApp calls ring even if the phone is off, it seems to make sense seeing as his WhatsApp messages were only showing 1 tick, glad you know he's safe

Cakeandcardio · 22/12/2022 07:48

Just to reassure you - I was once worried about someone and when I whatsapp called it ran but their phone had also been actually turned off. It was a friend so very possible.

Sparklfairy · 22/12/2022 07:48

don't know if the fact I was WhatsApp calling him makes a difference.

Yes it does. WhatsApp rings even if the phone is off.

Presumably he's got a charger in his car now the car parks reopened?

booboobeedoo · 22/12/2022 07:48

Hmmmmmm

HereIfYouNeedMe · 22/12/2022 07:48

He could have got a taxi home and you take him to collect his car as planned? How has he been able to ring you now but not 6 hours ago? You'll be able to tell if he hasn't been drinking. How odd.
But one tick means sent, 2 ticks mean delivered

Original poster
blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 07:49

YukoandHiro · 22/12/2022 07:47

Well I'm so glad he's safe.
But that doesn't stack up at all. If his battery died it wouldn't ring out, it would go straight to VM.
And why didn't he walk to a place where he could hire a mini cab? Presumably his wallet didn't run out of battery.
How far away was he? More than an hour's walk from your house? Why couldn't he walk home and get a cab back in the AM to pick up the car?

I know it's bizarre. The wallet thing does stack up because he only uses Apple Pay on his phone, I don't think he even knows where his debit card is. Certainly every time he needs to pay for something online there is a hunt for it at home.

OP posts:
Redglitter · 22/12/2022 07:49

You can also report to police but I'm afraid they wont take any serious interest until it's been about 48 hours when it's a non-vulnerable male

Thats not true. Every missing person call is assessed on it's own merit. The 48 hours is a TV thing. I cant think of any circumstances where someone would be told to wait even 24 hours.

Haveahappyholiday · 22/12/2022 07:49

Does he know your number? Couldn’t he have borrowed someone’s phone? Literally from a stranger in the street or in a takeaway or something (that’s what teenage dc has done before now.)

VioletPickles · 22/12/2022 07:49

What car park was it, that was so locked up he couldn’t sit in car/charge phone?

Qwayserdeyas · 22/12/2022 07:49

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 07:49

YukoandHiro · 22/12/2022 07:47

Well I'm so glad he's safe.
But that doesn't stack up at all. If his battery died it wouldn't ring out, it would go straight to VM.
And why didn't he walk to a place where he could hire a mini cab? Presumably his wallet didn't run out of battery.
How far away was he? More than an hour's walk from your house? Why couldn't he walk home and get a cab back in the AM to pick up the car?

He was about a 45-minute drive away so way too far to walk

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 22/12/2022 07:50

So how has his phone got charge now?

dinoprincesses · 22/12/2022 07:50

Why would someone walk round the streets at night for 6 hours rather than find a taxi? This definitely l doesn't add up.

RedHelenB · 22/12/2022 07:50

blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 07:34

I'm trying to find contact numbers for his colleagues, is it acceptable to contact his boss??? I was going to do some freelancing for her a while back so I happen to have her email address

Not really. The obvious thing is he got really drunk and is sleeping it off somewhere. Highly unlikely that anything terrible has happened. He'll appear sometime today.

YukoandHiro · 22/12/2022 07:50

Oh other people say WhatsApp does ring out - maybe that's true, I'd don't know

Sparklfairy · 22/12/2022 07:50

And the one tick what’s app means delivered but not opened.

No it doesn't. It means it hasn't been delivered as phone is off or no signal. 2 ticks that are grey not blue means delivered but not opened.

HereIfYouNeedMe · 22/12/2022 07:50

Also being sober he could have found some
way to contact you as he had all night to find somewhere with a computer to at least email you if he doesn't know your number. Or use a colleagues phone, go back to the party and get the taxi as planned. I'm so confused