Husband hasn't come home

[blackandwhitecat123]

I need advice please- my husband went out for his work night out last night and just hasn't come back. He told me the arrangement was that work would pay for a taxi home, then I would drive him back to collect his car today.

I last heard from him at around 6pm yesterday evening and not a dicky bird since. Sent him a message asking if he was having a good time at around 11pm, he hasn't read it. I thought that was odd as he would usually message me once or twice during the evening or at least let me know if he was planning on being late, and I would do the same. But I wasn't too worried and just went to sleep- assumed he was having a dance and a drink and a nice time. Got a sick toddler and I have the lurgy too so I was knackered.

I've just woken up and he isn't home, his phone rings when I call. WhatsApp messages are on one tick.

I'm absolutely frantic, this is really, REALLY unusual behaviour. He's a real home bird, not a big drinker normally (although has his moments) and likes his colleagues very much but isn't particularly close friends with them. He's just not someone who would stay out all night unexpectedly without saying ANYTHING, and I know he has battery because his phone rings. What do I do???

Agree

people don’t or can’t read and understand
then they assume the world looks the same for everyone as it does for them
then they think everyone needs to hear their, usually not very nice, opinion that doesn’t add anything to the debate, it’s just trying to have a go at someone

some mn threads in a nutshell.

Exactly. A poster claims "there are plenty of 24hr shops and petrol stations around". Perhaps @Catlady2021 could venture up to my town in the Yorkshire Dales at 11pm and point them out?

Exactly. A poster claims "there are plenty of 24hr shops and petrol stations around". Perhaps @Catlady2021 could venture up to my town in the Yorkshire Dales at 11pm and point them out?

Even our local takeaways close by 8pm on a Saturday

Blimey, that’s harsh timing.

My “local” takeaway would take around 2.5 hours to walk to, so would definitely be shut by the time I got there.

This thread is so weird. As others have pointed out, not all of us live in places with taxis on tap, phone boxes, etc.

And for those who’ve felt upset at some of the shitty comments, please know that not all of us have those views.

I'm really sorry that I've made you sad. For me, I do believe that being with a man who does what the OPs husband does when faced with a small curve ball , would be too much for me. I couldn't deal with it.

My bad, I think, not his or yours

Sensible man. For definite 👍

I really didn’t mean to offend anyone but if someone does not have basic problem solving skills, then life is going to present significant challenges. It might not be PC to point this out, but that’s the reality.

Well, yes, being ND does come with challenges. 🙄 But it doesn't mean ND people need to be locked up and only allowed out with supervision. Or that they can't be good partners or parents. Or that they should be mocked and humiliated for not thinking and reacting "normally".

So, you can't access your car, your phone is out of charge so you also can't access any money.

What's the solution?

Late at night in my town everything is shut.

Well OPs husband is disorganised at best then.
He went to a work Xmas event , not taking any money or bank card. Why? Not everywhere takes phone payment anyway.

He took a phone with presumably limited power, hence it went dead.

He parked in a car park, not seeing the opening hours.

He doesn’t know his wife phone number, fair enough but didn’t have it in a wallet in case of an emergency.

Everyone on here can defend OPs husband to the hilt, but whatever way you look at it he put himself in a vulnerable position. He could have become a casualty or victim of crime.

Anyone can become a casualty or a victim of crime.

You're a horrible person btw.

Having money, a bank card and his wife's phone number in his wallet wouldn't have made any difference when he's in the arsehole of nowhere with no flaggable taxis, public phones or 24 hour shops. And if he did become the victim of a crime, that wouldn't have been his fault.

Though, no money, no bank cards, and his car locked away there wasn't anything worth mugging him for anyway.

Again, you get everything wrong.

No doubt another time OP's DH will be checking more closely if a car park is locked up overnight. God knows the signage in carparks can be less than clear and it isn't necessarily something you would assume if you only use a carpark occasionally or during daytime hours.

The phone charging? Has nobody else ever thought they had left their phone charging only to come back and find the other end of the cable wasn't plugged in or the cable has got knocked out? It probably didn't seem like it mattered as he thought he would be able to charge the phone in the car.

What has stuck in my craw on this thread is the catastrophising. Many comments suggesting that this man shouldn't be left to go out alone or look after his own children.

Blimey. How to say you’re an arsehole without saying you’re an arsehole.

Seriously, if you want to dish out insults, please find something better than “you sad silly woman”. Because it really doesn’t make you look good.

Well I didn’t appreciate being called a horrible person by some random person on the internet.
Believe me I could have said something much better but why would I lower myself to their level. It’s Xmas after all.

@Catlady2021 Would you say the same about a woman, putting herself in a 'vulnerable position'. Victim blaming!

Yes, things didn't turn out right. But we have all been there and done something silly in our life

Anyone can be a victim, including men. There’s lots of unsavoury people out there who wish to do others harm.
I know, I’ve seen the amount get released.

Are you a bit dense? The car park was closed so how do you think he’d have got in to charge the phone? He had to wait for the car park to OPEN - he wasn’t changing his phone all night fgs.

READ

You might not appreciate it but it’s how you come across on the thread 🤷‍♀️

FFS the thread is still going with people quoting me , the man got home safely so please stop attacking my posts.

TBF, your post were a tad arsey. You can’t blame people for calling you out. The “worst” you got called was horrible. It was a fair and quite benign comment. Yet you responded with “sad silly woman”.

I think this is a reminder for many. Feel free to post what you want, but don’t complain if others pick you up on it.

Am really not aiming to pile-on you here - just a bit of reflection is sometimes needed.

I hope that makes sense and comes across in the way it was intended. At the end of the day, the important thing is that the OP is ok with the outcome. No point everyone else arguing on here.

@blackandwhitecat123 i don’t know if anyone’s already said this but WhatsApp will still give a ringing sound even when a phones switched off and the single tick proves it was off or at least had no signal

I would rather hope that nearly a year later her husband is home by now!!!
ZOMBIE THREAD!!!