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Original poster

Husband hasn't come home

576 replies

blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 07:17

I need advice please- my husband went out for his work night out last night and just hasn't come back. He told me the arrangement was that work would pay for a taxi home, then I would drive him back to collect his car today.

I last heard from him at around 6pm yesterday evening and not a dicky bird since. Sent him a message asking if he was having a good time at around 11pm, he hasn't read it. I thought that was odd as he would usually message me once or twice during the evening or at least let me know if he was planning on being late, and I would do the same. But I wasn't too worried and just went to sleep- assumed he was having a dance and a drink and a nice time. Got a sick toddler and I have the lurgy too so I was knackered.

I've just woken up and he isn't home, his phone rings when I call. WhatsApp messages are on one tick.

I'm absolutely frantic, this is really, REALLY unusual behaviour. He's a real home bird, not a big drinker normally (although has his moments) and likes his colleagues very much but isn't particularly close friends with them. He's just not someone who would stay out all night unexpectedly without saying ANYTHING, and I know he has battery because his phone rings. What do I do???

OP posts:
teaandtoastwithmarmite · 22/12/2022 08:07

I actually believe his story OP. Once I got stranded after a work night out. Ended up in north London when I lived in SE. Lost my purse, phone died. Taxi rank refused to take me home with no money. Thankfully some Good Samaritan gave me an Oyster card but I had to wait all night for the first train. Turned up home about 8.30.

Herejustforthisone · 22/12/2022 08:08

blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 07:59

45 minute drive I meant sorry. The walk would be impossible

Show quote history

That makes more sense.

GnomeDePlume · 22/12/2022 08:10

All sounds totally plausible to me. I managed to lock myself in a field once with the car outside the gate.

I have been on many a works night out. If DH left at the end of the evening then perfectly possible to have missed the taxis home. Gets to the carpark to discover that all the shutters are down. Phone is out of charge. No money on him. All he can do is wait. I hope he's not too cold!

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Motorbike311 · 22/12/2022 08:10

WhatsApp calls ring even if the phone is off!

I've had this happen, waited with friends until taxi came, they got in and left, I returned to the carpark to find it locked. It was an NCP, so couldn't get past the solid doors to get to the car.

It was 2am so didn't want to stop drunks to ask to borrow a phone, also have no idea of anyone's number. Was in winter time, just walked around quite parts of town until the morning.

TheQueenOfHearts · 22/12/2022 08:10

OP you know your husband so well, I've loved reading all the little anecdotes about what he would and would not do. I'm sure he told you the truth of course, nobody would come up with that story! 😅
He must be knackered!
Good on him for not drinking!

Remainiac · 22/12/2022 08:10

Even if the car park was closed, he could have sat in the car, charged his phone and waited/ dozed there until it opened. Or is he claiming that he was in a car park which was shuttered and locked so you can’t even get in on foot- which would be unusual. This is all very odd and I wouldn’t believe a word of it tbh.

SillyLittleBiscuit · 22/12/2022 08:11

It sounds a bit sus to me too. Why was he “in floods” when he got through? Trying to make you feel sorry for him so you don’t question his story too much?
I’m glad he’s safe, but I’d be dubious if I was you.

Sellorkeep · 22/12/2022 08:11

If your messages were only one tick in WhatsApp then the calls won’t go through and you will just hear it ring out. (Is it even possible to have voicemail in WhatsApp?) If you didn’t call his mobile normally (which would have been normal to do when you realised he had no data access, but I guess you didn’t quite think it all through) then you have no way of knowing his phone was dead. Glad he’s ok!!

Whatthediddlyfeck · 22/12/2022 08:12

blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 08:03

He's an odd person, obviously I love him but our entire marriage has comprised of me looking on in bafflement as he makes strange decision after strange decision. He has zero problem solving skills.

I know it sounds suss but this would be in character. Much more in character than getting drunk and sleeping on someone's sofa

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You’re the only one here who knows him, don’t get caught up in the conspiracy theories and suspicion on here…glad he’s safe and well -he’ll be tired but at least not hungover!

Haveahappyholiday · 22/12/2022 08:13

I do know someone who was locked inside a car park all night after a works night out so that bit is plausible. If he was stone cold sober though, why couldn’t he have thought of a way to contact you?

Iizzyb · 22/12/2022 08:13

We used to have a car park which locked near work OP. Most of the men I worked with had their cars locked in at some point. None of them had ever noticed the huge yellow & black signs saying it closed at 10pm. Glad he's safe

Original poster
blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 08:13

SillyLittleBiscuit · 22/12/2022 08:11

It sounds a bit sus to me too. Why was he “in floods” when he got through? Trying to make you feel sorry for him so you don’t question his story too much?
I’m glad he’s safe, but I’d be dubious if I was you.

He was upset because he'd been walking around in the cold all night and was worried about us.

OP posts:
saturnisturning · 22/12/2022 08:14

All sounds weird AF OP

But you know him 🤷🏻‍♀️

themanwho · 22/12/2022 08:15

Glad he’s back home!

For what it’s worth I believe his story.

You are saying it fits with his character and previous behaviour

If he was lying to you he would have come up with a more plausible, less ridiculous story

he must be knackered. it’s horrible being out all night and stuck

(it does sound like he’s a member of the ND team!)

Coffeepot72 · 22/12/2022 08:16

I’m glad you have found him

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 22/12/2022 08:16
Hmm
TokyoSushi · 22/12/2022 08:17

Another one saying that sounds really odd, but at least he's ok which is a good starting point...

runningonberocca · 22/12/2022 08:18

Another one who doesn’t believe a word of it. He didn’t answer you at 11pm - and given he was sober and leaving early - no excuse for that. I’m sure there was a plug socket in the pub/ restaurant/ hotel to charge his phone if dead . So if the car park locked - go back to the venue , and get the pre arranged taxi, or hail one, or minicab office etc etc
And no access to money - did he really not buy a drink all night? And go out with no ability to do so? Seriously?
And even if ( and it’s a massive if) that part is true why in Gods name is he in floods of tears in the phone this morning? That sounds like a man with a guilty conscience and a lot to lose..

Choconut · 22/12/2022 08:18

I could see my 16 year old with ASD doing that as an adult! Definitely ticking a few boxes there by the sounds of it.

balzamico · 22/12/2022 08:18

I'm glad he's turned up, if the situation sounds plausible to you then trust and believe him, I do find some of the responses on mumsnet overly suspicious quite often its as though people cannot understand that others think in different (odd) ways and are not up to no good

Original poster
blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 08:18

Haveahappyholiday · 22/12/2022 08:13

I do know someone who was locked inside a car park all night after a works night out so that bit is plausible. If he was stone cold sober though, why couldn’t he have thought of a way to contact you?

Because a) he's an absolute twit and b) has crippling social anxiety. If it happened to me, I would go into a garage/corner/shop ANYWHERE that was open and beg to use a phone. I just know he wouldn't do that.

I believe him- he's come home now and it's pretty clear he's telling the truth. I'm more concerned about his awful decision-making skills, it was mainly an endearing quirk up until now but it's gone too far.

OP posts:
category12 · 22/12/2022 08:19

blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 08:13

He was upset because he'd been walking around in the cold all night and was worried about us.

Show quote history

You know him best but what a bizarre explanation.

Although having a reputation for peculiar choices would be a great cover.

isthismylifenow · 22/12/2022 08:19

I'm glad he's OK OP.

You know your dh, none of us do.

There is a chance he's fabricating this story, but it could be true, quite bizarrely I've had my car locked inside a car wash before. So it does happen.

If you had come and said he's been acting strange etc before this, then that is a different situation.

He does sound quite quirky though, my ds would do something like this.

dogtheted · 22/12/2022 08:20

I'd still be sniffing his clothes for booze/perfume/lady smells op.

NorthFaceofthelaundrypile · 22/12/2022 08:20

I do believe him. I’ve had friends caught out by a car park that locks your car in. Only noticed the signs when it was too late!
Im glad he’s on his way home safe.