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Original poster

Weird event, need some help interpreting what was going on

131 replies

LaurieFairyCake · 21/12/2022 20:20

I went to an event today, I go every month. There's 6 of us.

Every time at this event the (we take it in turns) host gives us a glass of sparkly something, then we drink sparkly or wine for an hour or so - discuss politics, then we have tea and cake and then leave

Today was our Christmas one. The host gave us a glass of wine, it wasn't refilled - no one said anything at all (including me)

After a very long period of time we had a cup of tea and there was no cake

There was an undercurrent of something 🤷‍♀️

I've no idea what ?

I've discounted the following:

  1. It's not money, I have the least money of a wealthy group of people
  1. It's not me (it's NEVER you, though my paranoid thoughts obviously wonder if they don't want me, the newest member of the group. It really won't be me, the others are lovely
  1. I wonder if one of them is sick but they don't want me to know, they're all older than me and have been in this group together decades?

Apart from that I've come up with nothing but I'm really baffled

I cant iterate how strongly enough it was different than every other month we've done it

Anyone any ideas ? (obviously I can't ask, it looks rude)

I'm hosting next time, I'm unsure about whether to be a bit more low key too

OP posts:
LubaLuca · 21/12/2022 20:25

Nobody said anything between the wine and tea? You didn't ask if anything was wrong?

Original poster
LaurieFairyCake · 21/12/2022 20:30

No, we just all carried on chatting about the stuff we usually do

But there was an undercurrent of something unsaid - genuinely no idea what

OP posts:
JuneOsborne · 21/12/2022 20:32

Have you forgotten something about this month's meet up? Were you definitely meant to go?

schmalex · 21/12/2022 20:32

Is there a member of the group you could ask individually? Say you felt something was off and you just want to make sure you're not putting your foot in it when you come to host?

CountlesScreamingArgonauts · 21/12/2022 20:35

How odd. I'm sure you're right and have picked up on something real.

Is there someone in the group you can ask quietly - along the lines of "I felt the group was a bit subdued this time, is everyone OK?"

JanglyBeads · 21/12/2022 20:38

Hard to guess when we have no idea what this monthly "event" is??

Original poster
LaurieFairyCake · 21/12/2022 20:39

I said it was a political discussion group earlier

I could ask one of them, the one who introduced me - might be a bit weird to ask

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 21/12/2022 20:40

So you’re quite new to the group - is this the first time you’ve been at this particular hosts turn? Perhaps she’s just tight and the others gently disapprove…

Original poster
LaurieFairyCake · 21/12/2022 20:40

And there's nothing wrong/radical/different about my politics to have put them off

OP posts:
Original poster
LaurieFairyCake · 21/12/2022 20:41

No, this host is the most gregarious and generous - last Christmas we had champagne/nibbles etc

I've been going 14 months

OP posts:
WarningToTheCurious · 21/12/2022 20:41

I’d ask the person who invited you to join if theres anything you need to be aware of before hosting the next one.

Rogue1001MNer · 21/12/2022 20:42

How long have you been attending?

LubaLuca · 21/12/2022 20:42

RJnomore1 · 21/12/2022 20:40

So you’re quite new to the group - is this the first time you’ve been at this particular hosts turn? Perhaps she’s just tight and the others gently disapprove…

This seems likely. Maybe this person always makes it a bit awkward when it's at their house.

Rogue1001MNer · 21/12/2022 20:43

Sorry x-post Xmas Blush

LubaLuca · 21/12/2022 20:43

LaurieFairyCake · 21/12/2022 20:41

No, this host is the most gregarious and generous - last Christmas we had champagne/nibbles etc

I've been going 14 months

Hmm. Maybe they've had some bad news this week. I would ask the person who introduced you if they picked up on the unusual vibe.

Handsnotwands · 21/12/2022 20:44

Everyone is fucking knackered and wondering about how they’re going to get this that and the other done before Christmas.

shreddies · 21/12/2022 20:44

I would ask the person who invited you

Original poster
LaurieFairyCake · 21/12/2022 20:44

This host did last Christmas (with the champagne and nibbles)

I'm weirdly upset by the way - not usual for me at all

It's like they were all going onto dinner afterwards without me so didn't want to eat or drink anything ?

(Which would have been fine, they're much closer friends than me)

OP posts:
titchy · 21/12/2022 20:45

Definitely ask the person who introduced you.

But I have to say - is it really a political debate group - sounds great! Would love to be part of something like that!

LynetteScavo · 21/12/2022 20:45

I think the host had totally forgot you were all coming, and had forgotten to get in bubbly and cake. Luckily they had one bottle and some tea bags.

Original poster
LaurieFairyCake · 21/12/2022 20:47

They definitely didn't forget - there was Christmas cards and little gifts etc

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 21/12/2022 20:48

I’m out of ideas

Original poster
LaurieFairyCake · 21/12/2022 20:48

And when I say I'm upset, I mean I'm actually upset/tearful - it's like my gut is telling me I'm being excluded or I've done something wrong

OP posts:
longcoffeebreak · 21/12/2022 20:50

Just ask

Hopeyoursproutsarealreadyon · 21/12/2022 20:50

Could the host be ttc? Or someone in the group?