Reasonable punishment for a 6 & 4 year old?

[Isitt2023yet]

Both went to stay at mums and absolutely traumatised her. They don’t act like this for me or their dad but they know how kind she is and have seen it as a weakness.

They spat on her tv and when she wiped it off they did it again! Tipped both their drinks over the dinner table.

im absolutely furious with them can’t believe they have treated my poor mum like this!

DS has gone to his room as he is the main instigator and DD is in the living room with me. Both feeling very sorry for themselves..

Why the superiority in your reply to the OP if you don’t consider yourself a perfect parent?

I'm not really a fan of punishments in general. I certainly wouldn't do anything draconian like cancelling Christmas. Nor would I impose some humiliating penalty like making them use cups meant for babies.

Of course, that doesn't mean that their behaviour was acceptable. It absolutely was not. And I would do everything in my power to make certain that they understood that. Having the children write letters of apology and also buy flowers for their grandmother are excellent ways of making amends @Isitt2023yet. I would also tell them that their behaviour means that their grandmother probably won't be as happy to have them over to her place again. Not that she never will again, of course, just that their actions have meant she is less likely to invite them over. That is a true natural consequence. Losing screen time is not.

I would also look a bit deeper to figure out what is going on, especially with your DS as you seem to think he was the one to instigate this behaviour. Is he exhausted from the term, overexcited about Christmas, seeking attention that his baby brother is getting? Not that any of these things are excuses but they could be reasons. It is unlikely he will be able to articulate exactly why he misbehaved, but his actions come from some source and I'd try to work out what that is.