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Original poster

Reasonable punishment for a 6 & 4 year old?

152 replies

Isitt2023yet · 18/12/2022 17:14

Both went to stay at mums and absolutely traumatised her. They don’t act like this for me or their dad but they know how kind she is and have seen it as a weakness.

They spat on her tv and when she wiped it off they did it again! Tipped both their drinks over the dinner table.

im absolutely furious with them can’t believe they have treated my poor mum like this!

DS has gone to his room as he is the main instigator and DD is in the living room with me. Both feeling very sorry for themselves..

OP posts:
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 18/12/2022 19:33

MoggyMittens23 · 18/12/2022 19:30

I am pretty sure the OP would know why I was asking how much screen time they have in relation the behaviour THAT SHE HAS POSTED ABOUT

FOR WHAT OTHER REASON WOULD I BE ASKING

FFS

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Yes she would. To be judgemental. Like everyone else who have picked up on it.

I'm going to leave it now. Let you chill out a bit. Good evening

MoggyMittens23 · 18/12/2022 19:33

Dacadactyl · 18/12/2022 19:32

@MoggyMittens23 you didn't say anything wrong IMO. I find some people on here love to take things the wrong way or get offended easily.

Hope you get the issue with your kids sorted OP. Best of luck.

Thanks. Thought I was going a bit mad for a second there!

Pumperthepumper · 18/12/2022 19:34

CrotchetyQuaver · 18/12/2022 19:33

I think I would be phoning Father Christmas and seeing what he had to say about all this
The older one probably needs sterner treatment if he's egging on the younger one.
I'd be coming down very hard on them for this, little of not, but Granny needs to get cross with them at the time as well (and mean it)

I think you just need to make their life kind of hell for a few days/whole of this coming week with dire threats of Christmas presents being given to other children because they were so horribly naughty etc etc. make them sweat about not getting their Christmas presents but give them the opportunity to make amends through being very good, kind and helpful this week.

Also abuse.

WoosteriaLane · 18/12/2022 19:34

I think you've been far ruder than I or a pp have been defensive, and you saw fit to call it extremely. Again, you seem to treat others differently to how you like to be treated.

MoggyMittens23 · 18/12/2022 19:35

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 18/12/2022 19:33

Yes she would. To be judgemental. Like everyone else who have picked up on it.

I'm going to leave it now. Let you chill out a bit. Good evening

Show quote history

Yes, it's me who needs to go and chill.... 😳

Pumperthepumper · 18/12/2022 19:35

ozymandiusking · 18/12/2022 19:33

So, as far as Mumsnet is concerned we are not allowed to express a true fact, and an opinion. Delete away, so much for free speech. Why am I not surprised?

Did they delete your post about physically assaulting children?

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 18/12/2022 19:37

MoggyMittens23 · 18/12/2022 19:35

Yes, it's me who needs to go and chill.... 😳

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😂

I don't think it was me who had issues with my caps button

AlwaysGinPlease · 18/12/2022 19:38

They can apologize and move on. They're 4 and 6 not 14 and 16. Some really harsh parents here. Your children won't be little forever. They'll be adults that resent you.

Candlemas · 18/12/2022 19:38

All behaviour is communication, it sounds like the younger one was coping the older one but why did the older one do it?

I do get so tired of this 'all behaviour is communication ' rubbish. The children weren't trying to communicate anything at all, they were just being very naughty and silly. It happens, and there's no need to start a soul searching reason for why they did it.

Original poster
Isitt2023yet · 18/12/2022 19:39

kids are at school full time and nursery full time. DS gets up at 6 so will play roblox on the laptop until I come down at 7. Then evenings after school reading, dinner and then whatever they want to do usually a film or iPad or laptops. So they don’t have a huge amount of screen time and to be honest they naturally just get bored and switch it off before I even ask them.

OP posts:
Pumperthepumper · 18/12/2022 19:40

Candlemas · 18/12/2022 19:38

All behaviour is communication, it sounds like the younger one was coping the older one but why did the older one do it?

I do get so tired of this 'all behaviour is communication ' rubbish. The children weren't trying to communicate anything at all, they were just being very naughty and silly. It happens, and there's no need to start a soul searching reason for why they did it.

No, thats incorrect. They could have been communicating ‘I am bored’ or ‘I am hungry’ or ‘I need better mental stimulation’. It is communication, and it’s up to the adults in their lives to work out what that communication is.

Candlemas · 18/12/2022 19:43

Pumperthepumper · 18/12/2022 19:40

No, thats incorrect. They could have been communicating ‘I am bored’ or ‘I am hungry’ or ‘I need better mental stimulation’. It is communication, and it’s up to the adults in their lives to work out what that communication is.

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That's not necessarily true. The older child is 6. If she's hungry then why not say so? And even if she's bored that's no excuse for spitting at the TV. Sometimes children are just naughty.

Pumperthepumper · 18/12/2022 19:45

Candlemas · 18/12/2022 19:43

That's not necessarily true. The older child is 6. If she's hungry then why not say so? And even if she's bored that's no excuse for spitting at the TV. Sometimes children are just naughty.

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Maybe she did say she was hungry though?

Children are not inherently naughty.

Ponderingwindow · 18/12/2022 19:49

Essentially grounding a 4 and 6 yo after the fact is pointless.

it is understandable the grandparent felt constrained to carry out an appropriate timely punishment. Since you are forced to do something retroactive, I would look for something that you can link very closely to their behavior. would the grandparent allow you to bring them over and allow you to make them clean in an age appropriate way?

another option is to say that they have shown they can’t be trusted with food and drink so for the next week (or as long as you can go into Christmas makes it impractical) that will only be served at the table. It creates extra work for you, but will be very annoying for them.

Candlemas · 18/12/2022 19:49

Pumperthepumper · 18/12/2022 19:45

Maybe she did say she was hungry though?

Children are not inherently naughty.

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You are supposing a scenario that the OP hasn't verified. To a certain extent I agree that children are not inherently naughty, but they sometimes do naughty things, especially if one is egging the other on. Maybe they think it's funny.

KnobbyKnobson · 18/12/2022 19:50

This reply has been deleted

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bevelino · 18/12/2022 19:50

Twizbe · 18/12/2022 17:41

Father Christmas would be getting a phone call as well. They have 6 days to make it up.

I agree, Santa should receive a call unless they properly apologize and behave impeccably for the next 6 days.

Pumperthepumper · 18/12/2022 19:51

Candlemas · 18/12/2022 19:49

You are supposing a scenario that the OP hasn't verified. To a certain extent I agree that children are not inherently naughty, but they sometimes do naughty things, especially if one is egging the other on. Maybe they think it's funny.

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So if they think it’s funny, that would communicate to me that they’re bored and need something else to occupy them.

Pumperthepumper · 18/12/2022 19:51

This reply has been deleted

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Are you saying she should euthanise her kid?

AlwaysGinPlease · 18/12/2022 19:52

@KnobbyKnobson disgusting comment 🙄

Original poster
Isitt2023yet · 18/12/2022 19:55

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wow your lovely aren’t you!

OP posts:
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 18/12/2022 20:02

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Fucking hell.

Fitting username

Candlemas · 18/12/2022 20:06

Pumperthepumper · 18/12/2022 19:51

So if they think it’s funny, that would communicate to me that they’re bored and need something else to occupy them.

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Goodness, you're determined to find a communication issue here. I think it's simpler. They decided to misbehave. Period.

Pumperthepumper · 18/12/2022 20:07

Candlemas · 18/12/2022 20:06

Goodness, you're determined to find a communication issue here. I think it's simpler. They decided to misbehave. Period.

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Why though? Why then and not at any other given time?

slmum · 18/12/2022 20:07

Some of the reactions here are crazily overdone. They’re 4 and 6 and they got overexcited at their granny’s and egged each other on. it’s bad behaviour which ideally would have had an immediate consequence but these long drawn out punishments are absurd. OP’s plan of a card and two days no screens seem fine and quite strict enough.

Getting santa involved - just remember how betrayed they’ll feel when they find about santa. Not worth it and horrible to do.