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What are ways to help my unborn boy to sorta get out there and try new things?

207 replies

brynna · 18/12/2022 06:07

Hi. My son, whose name will be Archer, is due in February and my husband and I really want to set up the best life for him. That’s already involved us moving into a nice neighborhood, looking into preschools, yada yada yada. The thing we’re having trouble with is that we want him to sorta ‘get out there’ and have skills and hobbies and stuff.

we’ve already thought of having him join the boys choir (if he wants ofc) for the city we live in because it’s great, you travel around the world, you make friends, and yk it’s just good. but what other things are there that we could have him try that could allow for independence? here are some things we’ve thought of:

- required to try out
**- we recommend but not required
-only if you want

-boys choir (offers plenty of opportunities and the program is relatively isolated so he’d be making friends)**
-ballet/aerobics/dance (shows him that he can do what girls do too plus he might enjoy it)
-karate (it’s always good to have those skills plus it builds a good work ethic)**
-piano lessons (not social but gives him an outlet)
-horseback riding (good outlet plus experience with animals)*

we can’t think of anymore though and we’d start enrolling him in stuff like this at age ~4 and we want things with other benefits too so we wouldn’t do piano and horseback riding ag the same time because they’re both outlets and we only need one yk we need to maximize stuff

anyways we just want to set him up with a good future but we need advice!!

OP posts:
HimiJendrix · 18/12/2022 17:11

Surely this isn't real?

MrsTag · 18/12/2022 17:13

I would say to encourage him not to use words like "sorta".

EqualFranknessWithYourLadyship · 18/12/2022 17:14

I also thought getting out meant out of your womb….

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

snowinthesticks · 18/12/2022 17:15

You should bookmark this post and read it again for entertainment value in six months time.
Plus, it's horse riding not horseback riding unless you are a cowboy.

Squirrellane · 18/12/2022 17:32

I thought this was going to be about ways to bring on labour and encourage a fast birth.

Teaspooned · 18/12/2022 17:34

brynna · 18/12/2022 16:58

horseback riding, piano, and archery are all time old traditions in my husbands family and we’re very close friends with the director of the choir

it’s recommended to join choir and the other things but we’d need him to at least try out piano and horseback riding at some point in his life

I think you need to calm down your giant crush on your husband’s rich family. You didn’t marry his family, or one hopes not. Your child isn’t, or shouldn’t be, defined by your husband’s family hobbies., or who you’re friends with. You sound extremely socially insecure, and that is what you’re going to pass on to your baby if you don’t come to terms with it.

I also grew up in very deprived circumstances, and I absolutely want my son to have opportunities I didn’t, but in your case, pressganging him into socially-aspirant activities while he’s still in utero is quite mad and deeply unhealthy.

2bazookas · 18/12/2022 18:15

Start with the basic life skills

Latching on

Deep sleeping

Power poos.

Bibbetybobbity · 18/12/2022 18:18

No chance this is real 😂✋

viques · 18/12/2022 18:19

EllieRosesMammy · 18/12/2022 08:27

Cheers, just spat out my tea 😂😂😂

We had no trouble with the horse but the bloody farrier was a damn pain. I am pretty sure he left a few nails behind.

viques · 18/12/2022 18:38

Teaspooned · 18/12/2022 17:34

I think you need to calm down your giant crush on your husband’s rich family. You didn’t marry his family, or one hopes not. Your child isn’t, or shouldn’t be, defined by your husband’s family hobbies., or who you’re friends with. You sound extremely socially insecure, and that is what you’re going to pass on to your baby if you don’t come to terms with it.

I also grew up in very deprived circumstances, and I absolutely want my son to have opportunities I didn’t, but in your case, pressganging him into socially-aspirant activities while he’s still in utero is quite mad and deeply unhealthy.

Seriously OP, if you want your child to have good experiences in life, and of course you do, we all do, then what you firstly need to do is help him to develop good social skills. Because social skills are the key to life that open doors and smooth paths. So when he is a little baby take him out and about, introduce him to new people and experiences in a friendly and non pushy way, baby groups, soft play, swimming, play dates in the park, days out at the sea side, places and things that he can enjoy without having to prove himself or feel he has to perform or learn skills. And all the time develop his communication ability, his speaking, his vocabulary, asking questions, listening, sharing, having kindness , and empathy, being friendly , being polite, taking turns. Then whatever interests , activities, sports, pastimes, career choices he makes he will be welcome, will make friends and be invited to share other peoples lives.

What you are aiming for is not a child narrowly accomplished in rather niche areas but a friendly, curious, questioning child who is resilient ,happy to try new things, and has the confidence to persevere when things are difficult .

NoTwainNoGain · 18/12/2022 21:17

Is the thread asking about what looks good on your DC's UCAS application yours too?!

WildFlowerBees · 18/12/2022 22:33

This thread is batshit, poor bloody child his whole life mapped out before he's born. What if turns out to be a 6ft 4 drag queen how will you cope. 🙄

Thistlelass · 18/12/2022 23:29

I do wish you well with your little baby. Honestly though at this stage you should be making the most of the time until he is due to relax. You have labour to get through and that can come with its difficulties! Once he is here his personality will begin to unfold. Your guidanance will come from him. There will be some basics you will choose to have in place but really you can decide most things once he is safely in the world. Good luck.

EhLov · 18/12/2022 23:37

Is this a joke?

TheFormidableMrsC · 18/12/2022 23:44

Just stop. Your baby hasn't even been born yet. You can't plan ahead like this. You've got a journey ahead of you before you can. Chill out. I mean that kindly!

TheFormidableMrsC · 18/12/2022 23:45

WildFlowerBees · 18/12/2022 22:33

This thread is batshit, poor bloody child his whole life mapped out before he's born. What if turns out to be a 6ft 4 drag queen how will you cope. 🙄

🤣

BlackeyedSusan · 19/12/2022 00:17

Was expecting the usual how to get this kid out as he's well overdue...

In which case sex, lots of sex. And walking, if you still can.

But no, the poor sod is being set up for a life of pressure, leave him to cook a little longer. And enjoy him for who he is when he arrives. It's too early to know what he will be like and how capable. If you end up with a kid that has a disability or neurodiversity or is quiet and shy not sporty you need to parent that kid not the hypothetical one you have in mind

Swimming is good but other than that whatever he wants to do when the time comes.

JFDIYOLO · 19/12/2022 00:20

Have a look at this short talk by a seven year old on what babies really need in their first few years. It's lovely.

www.ted.com/talks/molly_wright_how_every_child_can_thrive_by_five

MrsMorrisey · 19/12/2022 00:21

BluntWithAC · 18/12/2022 07:26

Teach him not to shit his pants, throw up on himself and hold his head up first. The rest will come later.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Mañanarama · 19/12/2022 00:25

stbrandonsboat · 18/12/2022 08:25

I thought this was going to be about inducing labour 😂

Me too. I was about to suggest curry and sex.

lurchermummy · 19/12/2022 07:38

@RedLem0nade 😂

inappropriateraspberry · 19/12/2022 08:21

ohioriver · 18/12/2022 10:42

@inappropriateraspberry my child (now adult) has disabilities. They're never going to be able to swim.

What would you suggest I do? They do?

Of course there are exceptions to the rule, but saying swimming isn't a vital skill is wrong. It is vital, but not everyone can do it, disability or not.

Herejustforthisone · 19/12/2022 08:55

Sorry, you mean he’s not already being tutored in utero (tutero, if you will)? Yikes. He’s already behind. 🫢

PacificallyRequested · 19/12/2022 09:02

Archer, matey, good luck!

MrsSkylerWhite · 19/12/2022 09:37

Has anyone suggested coding? The information super highway is the future. He’ll need to hit the ground running. If he’s not able to programme by toddler group at least, all else will be futile.

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