What are ways to help my unborn boy to sorta get out there and try new things?

[brynna]

Hi. My son, whose name will be Archer, is due in February and my husband and I really want to set up the best life for him. That’s already involved us moving into a nice neighborhood, looking into preschools, yada yada yada. The thing we’re having trouble with is that we want him to sorta ‘get out there’ and have skills and hobbies and stuff.

we’ve already thought of having him join the boys choir (if he wants ofc) for the city we live in because it’s great, you travel around the world, you make friends, and yk it’s just good. but what other things are there that we could have him try that could allow for independence? here are some things we’ve thought of:

- required to try out
**- we recommend but not required
-only if you want

-boys choir (offers plenty of opportunities and the program is relatively isolated so he’d be making friends)**
-ballet/aerobics/dance (shows him that he can do what girls do too plus he might enjoy it)
-karate (it’s always good to have those skills plus it builds a good work ethic)**
-piano lessons (not social but gives him an outlet)
-horseback riding (good outlet plus experience with animals)*

we can’t think of anymore though and we’d start enrolling him in stuff like this at age ~4 and we want things with other benefits too so we wouldn’t do piano and horseback riding ag the same time because they’re both outlets and we only need one yk we need to maximize stuff

anyways we just want to set him up with a good future but we need advice!!

Talk about pressure on the poor wee soul before he’s even born.
I hope you and baby’s dad both have qualifications in First Aid, language development, the importance of play in early development et al. You don’t? Millions of other parents don’t but somehow our children survive, thrive and are happy.
Please relax and enjoy your pregnancy, then your baby and stop being so controlling.

You're assuming your child will be physically able and NT too. Please get some counselling.

We all want the best for our children but some things you just can't plan for. It's lovely you're thinking of different options for hobbies and activities but he may have zero interest in any of them. My son is four and he likes playing in the dirt and spinning until he's dizzy, zero interest in any form of sport and he used the mini guitar we got him to knock over the Xmas tree.

I was/am like you. Wanted my son to have lots of experiences that would build confidence etc.
He goes to scouts, Kung fu, sea cadets, swimming and sailing. Loves all of it and had experiences he wouldn’t get elsewhere.
He is an independent 13 year old.

As an only child it was important to me that he was in things that showed him how to work as a team, share etc

Meet your boy first and find out what kind of person he is.
He may not be able to hold a note and might love football for all you know.
Good parenting is responsive,not controlling.

This is what I couldn't put my finger on.

Chill. I gave my children loads of opportunities, martial arts, music, golf, tennis, swimming, dancing blah blah blah and they weren’t interested in continuing any of them after the first batch of lessons. They now play guitar which they taught themselves years later. You need to play it by ear a bit more as he gets older.

This can't be real is it?

Yup.
Get the birth out the way first.

If it is its very sad

Hi Amanda from Motherland!

I would consider calligraphy, which is best to start from an early age.

You can't put a price on good penmanship.

For example. I have one who can't swim due to disabilities.

For everyone saying "swimming it's a life skill" - mine can't do that.

Is he lacking? No. He just can't swim. He has a full and active life and is a productive member of society with a job and a partner. He doesn't need to be able to swim to do that.

@glittereyelash Your son sounds awesome! (Although I am sorry about your tree😆)

Take a chill pill - seriously. It will all make sense once he's here. I'm a huge advocate of music etc but you need to see what his aptitude is, I have one musical, one sporty for instance.

@ohioriver

One of mine can swim technically because she had 1:1 lessons for a few weeks but can't unless accompanied due to random seizures without warning - consequently she rarely goes now as an adult

🤣

Enrol him on pilot training at 18 months. 'Tis a well-known fact that children who can fly planes by age 3 do so much better in life.

Yodelling?

I would suggest concentrating on surviving the newborn/toddler/threenager phase before anything too ambitious.

The kids going to be eating food off the floor before long, let’s face it 🤣

Birth is an amazing way to get out there and try new things. Get him to do that first and see how he goes😁

😂 bravo @RedLem0nade

That's like driving. It's helpful to be able to do it - a life skill - but it's not essential and not everyone can do it. That's fine.

@girlmom21 I agree. It's a skill that's useful. But it's not a vital life skill (as has been said on this thread). It's a nice to have. But it's not vital.

The worst thing you can do for him is plan his life like this. Wait and see where his interests lie.

This this this. I have 3 kids. Dc1 high flier at school, loved academia, sailed through uni , never got in trouble, loved homework , A grades etc but HATED extra curricular activities of all sorts. DC 2 and 3 are younger, one doesn't love schoolwork but loves her all extra curricular activities esp dancing classes and shows promise, and loves animals and has a caring personality. DC 3 academically gifted and loves music but little else especially group activities (also awaiting autism diagnosis). Just wait and see who they are and embrace it.