What are ways to help my unborn boy to sorta get out there and try new things?

[brynna]

Hi. My son, whose name will be Archer, is due in February and my husband and I really want to set up the best life for him. That’s already involved us moving into a nice neighborhood, looking into preschools, yada yada yada. The thing we’re having trouble with is that we want him to sorta ‘get out there’ and have skills and hobbies and stuff.

we’ve already thought of having him join the boys choir (if he wants ofc) for the city we live in because it’s great, you travel around the world, you make friends, and yk it’s just good. but what other things are there that we could have him try that could allow for independence? here are some things we’ve thought of:

- required to try out
**- we recommend but not required
-only if you want

-boys choir (offers plenty of opportunities and the program is relatively isolated so he’d be making friends)**
-ballet/aerobics/dance (shows him that he can do what girls do too plus he might enjoy it)
-karate (it’s always good to have those skills plus it builds a good work ethic)**
-piano lessons (not social but gives him an outlet)
-horseback riding (good outlet plus experience with animals)*

we can’t think of anymore though and we’d start enrolling him in stuff like this at age ~4 and we want things with other benefits too so we wouldn’t do piano and horseback riding ag the same time because they’re both outlets and we only need one yk we need to maximize stuff

anyways we just want to set him up with a good future but we need advice!!

🤣

He’s due 14th February right ? 😜 he’ll be an Aquarius so really quite a fluff head.

I’d wait until he here before you start mapping his life out.

Nice try though 🥳

In the unlikely event that this is for real:

The best way to help your unborn baby is to get to know him, and wait and see what suits him when the time comes - many years down the line for some of these activities. Don't overload him with activities, they need down time and to learn to entertain themselves and definitely don't get into competitive parenting. Your success as a parent and your child's wellbeing and development aren't dependent on how many activities they do.

The best thing you can do for him is let him be his own person. And when he finds things he loves, encourage and support him.

Children aren’t extensions of you, they are themselves. And your job as his parent is to love him and guide him so he feels confident in his choices in life.

He may not want to do any of those things. Maybe he’ll enjoy knitting, or kickboxing, or maybe he’ll just like being at home and doing his own thing.

Please calm down and don’t set such high expectations on a currently imaginary human. Get him born first!

Here are some ideas OP:

Enrol him in the space programme
Sign him up for a lion tamers for toddlers class
Arrange a boiled egg eating contest for his 4th birthday party (social, and some healthy light hearted competition). Careful he doesn't get eggbound though
Bassoon lessons

HTH!

If this is genuine... here's something I didn't know before I had mine. Babies aren't born as a blank slate that you shape into an adult with your chosen qualities. They have their own personalities and those personalities can be really strong. Not only that but sometimes they have additional challenges that you didn't expect.

Parenting is about working with the child you have. You can have conversations or daydreams about the things you would love for them to experience. But, when it becomes a list like this you really are setting yourself up for disappointment. It would be a real shame to decide now what success and happiness will look like for them before you have even met them.

Swimming. He can start lessons at 3 months. DD1 was swimming lengths in a 33m pool by the time she was 4. She is now on the water polo team at uni and has a part time job as a lifeguard.

Plus of course swimming is an important life skill and it is a lot of fun.

Foetuses are absolutely no good at horse riding. They can’t reach the stirrups and you’ll never find a hat small enough.

I don't understand the snippy comments on here. My DS started horse riding in utero. Getting the horse up there was tough going, but worth it I think.

You need to be an example to your son so are you the adventurous type? Do you try new hobbies, sports and have good social communication skills. Because if the answer is no then the chances are neither will your child. Children copy behaviours from those they are closest to first.

So instead of trying to control and map out the life of a child who isn't born yet, look at yourself out first. This includes using the right words such as sort of instead of made up ones like sorta. The baby will copy your speech patterns when he learns to speak. I hope this helps.

If this is real then you really need to relax. I don't know why you're so determined to push your boy into doing all these things. Some days I'm chuffed if my 4 year old goes to the toilet on his own.

I thought this was going to be about inducing labour 😂

Crying 🤣🤣

This sounds like private excitement between you and your dp.

Get through the toddler years with absolutely no sleep first, nail eating, walking, climbing and playing and once they start school life will be very different.

It's not something you can plan for pre birth as you don't know what the future holds.

Hope the birth goes well op, having a baby is so precious, enjoy every minute and don't compare Archer to anyone else.

This has to be a joke.

If it's not then my advice is chill the F out. And that's coming from someone who struggles with OCD and ADHD (so is never chill). 😂😂

Cheers, just spat out my tea 😂😂😂

this can’t be real, but on the off chance it is.

maybe let him be born before you start mapping his life out.

You're looking way too far in the future. It's one thing to wonder what they will be like, what there interests will be etc. Another to try and plan it for him before he's even born! Wait and see what he's like, what he wants to do. He may be shy and forcing him to do things could be his worst nightmare, or he may be full on, wanting to do everything.
It seems like you want to have everything pre-planned but parenthood isn't like that. I'd also be prepared to find that you change your mind on his name once he's born.

gawfs.....let me just pick up my chair. You are ....... nope cannot do it. You are in for a hell of a shock. I hope your son breaks all the rules and has an amazing life

Wrong forum. This is vipernet. You need tigernet. HTH.

If you want an independent child the first thing they need is a strong secure attachment to you. Which means amongst other things you always being there for them in their early years, taking time to interact with them, getting down on their level and playing with the train set / tea set /dolls House/ duplo whatever toy they are obsessed with for hours and hours on end. Even if you've bren up since 5 am, done a 10 hr day at work and just want to out the tv on. Not over scheduling them at an early age. Essentially, if they have happiness, love and security then they will have the confidence to go off and do new things. You won't make a child try something new if they don't want to do it and sometimes they reject the new thing but come back to it later. They may also be a quiet soul who doesn't want to be off doing things all the time and this should be OK with you too. Sounds like you are going to be quite pushy as a parent.

Poor child - she’s going to arrive demanding to be named Eglantine Ophelia …

Hahahaha, nice try op.

Does he get a say?

He may want to sit at home and read.