What’s the worst thing you’ve found out about someone after they’ve died?

[Watisthis]

Going through a big shocker at the minute. Has anyone ever had something massive come out after a loved one has passed away?

😂

This thread has inspired me to burn my diaries. I don't think they'll be of historical/social interest, I have a really boring sex life and finding boxes of them in a deceased person's house seems to cause nothing but trouble.

I think that the huge huge effort he put into helping people in big ways and small was probably his attempt to compensate for the massive guilt.

More likely a way to groom families, get close to children and allay suspicion.

I hate to disillusion you, but you are very naive if you think he felt even a moment's guilt.

My hairdresser had to clear out her uncles house when he passed age 86 it was very obvious he was an active s and m homosexual. Ball gags, lube magazines etc, in a small Welsh village. She said they had no clue!

That's awful, I'm so sorry.

A grand uncle of mine had a secret family that nobody knew about . He Abandoned the woman and his kids when kids were very young.

My DH's Dad had an older son. Who his wife knew about and had never told us. He had maintained contact. He had 2 sons, so my DCs cousins.
We all met for the first time at the funeral. Fucking awkward. Have not seen them since!

I haven’t “found out” per se but one distant relative is so strikingly similar to another relative that I have very little doubt that there must be a closer blood tie than the official one

Genetics are really weird though. I have a lot of DCousins and you'd be surprised at what turns up. My DS loos like one of my first cousins but that Cousin doesn't look like the rest of us. That Cousin is supposed to look like my DGGF according to the older members of the family.

My DSis looks so much like one of my other DCousins DD that they regularly get mistaken for Mother and Daughter.

This is funny

My darling granddad was abused by a catholic priest when he was younger. My granddad was the most amazing man you could ever meet and everyone loved him so much. I'll never know how much he suffered as a child but he never seems to let anything affect him on the outside. I have no time for religion, least of all Catholicism.

Dh found out at his father's funeral that his father had been married before and had a son.

I was very close to the best friend of my mother and became closer still after DM died. After the friend died, I was heartbroken but my SIL told me that in fact this person had been spreading malicious lies about me for years. SIL elaborated and it was clearly true as there was no way she could have known so much detail. I didn't even bother to go to the funeral and have never got that close to anyone since.

What? Why would an anonymous and dead person need to defend themselves? Pull yourself together.

Oh my goodness - that’s so sad! Your poor mum 🙁

George VI and Nicholas II could have been twins, they were so alike.

Ohhhhh - i assumed she’d also boxed up her dead pet rabbit and put it at the back of the wardrobe to decay. 😬

To the pure, all things are pure @Verbena17 .

We are obviously too good for this world. 😂

@Emotionalsupportviper bless your heart

Can we have everyone’s mother’s maiden names and the names of their first pets too, please?

Only going to be useful if one of your bank's security questions is what Auntie Bridget had at the back of her wardrobe...

Yep my thoughts exactly 😂

Some of these stories are hilarious, but others absolutely heartbreaking. I can only imagine the distress that some families must have suffered when some of these things came out.

Things like a relative being a closet gay are very sad for the deceased - having to live a life of lies because of the prejudice that existed when they were young.

But I am so angry on behalf of the poor relatives who have been damaged by selfish spouses etc, who have done such spiteful things - the poor wife who thought that her home was hers, for instance, only to find her late husband had multiply mortgaged it to fund his own habits. That is just dreadful!

I always knew that my Nan had had a bit of a sad life, in that she had had 10 pregnancies, with the 4 boys unable to be carried to term. What I found out years later was that she was 14 (!!!) when she first got pregnant, to a 21 year-old who was engaged to someone else. He married Nan and then she kept getting pregnant. By many accounts, they were not happy.

@Watisthis how is prison a big shocker? Load of bollocks.

@growgrowinggrowns Auntys rabbit is a bigger shocker 🫣

Though given her username there could be a theme there

Obviously not a recent relative but I've found that in Victorian times an ancestor who passed away after suffering 'financial problems' - we knew he'd lost the country estate at the gaming table - actually shot himself.

My mother deliberately kept me from moving out so she could take half my wage to pay all the rent. I had saved up a substantial amount for a deposit, but I was heavily discouraged by my mother and father (think telling me I’m useless, I’ll struggle etc)
when I was going through their financial paperwork (shredding it because it went back years) I found out that I was being charged £400 a month for rent, but their rent was £350. I felt very angry. At the time I could have got a nice house share for £250, and a furnished studio for £350 (I’m old! 😂). Every time I started to make moves to get out, I was worked on and discouraged.

When I did probate for a relative I found all her relatives ashes kept in a bureau. I assumed she wanted to be interred with her mum, dad and late husband. She also suffered no fools when it came to men. She divorced her first husband because of his uncleanliness. Her second because he was a mummy’s boy. She dumped a guy because he went to prison. She could drive anything from a motorcycle, tractor, van, lorry, bus! (And a car).

A very wise post.