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Original poster

What’s the worst thing you’ve found out about someone after they’ve died?

386 replies

Watisthis · 16/12/2022 20:03

Going through a big shocker at the minute. Has anyone ever had something massive come out after a loved one has passed away?

OP posts:
Mince314s · 17/12/2022 11:37

Not a family member but I remember hearing about someone who had mentioned that he'd buried his pet in the garden and they all thought he was joking. Lo and behold they did some work to the garden after his death and found it. He kept elephants.

Deathraystare · 17/12/2022 11:39

On a dead news day of course the journos are going to get on Mumsnet!

x2boys · 17/12/2022 11:42

Dorisbonson · 17/12/2022 05:07

And for any horrid journalist looking for a story they don't have permission to use content from my posts.

It's an anonymous forum ,you don't get to give permission or not if you don't want journalists to use any of your info don't post anything .

AngelDelightUK · 17/12/2022 11:43

When my grans sister died, they found books written of all presents she’d received from people, and then who she’d regifted them to!

Sorry not scandalous but all I can think of atm

pinneddownbytabbies · 17/12/2022 11:47

Not so much about the person who passed away, but about what she never told me. I thought my late DM had only one brother, and it turns out she had three. The youngest two died at the ages of 3 and 6, within a couple of weeks of one another. I only discovered it, when I was researching my family tree, and another genealogist doing a one-name study of the (fairly uncommon surname) contacted me and sent me a copy of their records. They naturally assumed I knew of course, and were dismayed they had given me such a shock.

Pelo22 · 17/12/2022 11:49

That my dads mum didn't like my mum "because she was black"

I mean that was news to us because dad didn't know that's why she disliked her, and also she wasn't black Confused apparently it was her colouring and facial features. I inherited her features but sadly got the redhead pale genes!

(On doing ancestry it did turn out that mums great great grandfather was black)

FrenchFancie · 17/12/2022 12:03

Last year I found out my father killed someone in a traffic accident 45 years ago. What upset me was that he told the story in the context of the damage done to his car, not the fact that he’d run someone over and killed them!

ive gone very low contact with him since then, it’s really made me wonder what kind of person he is!

OhChristmasTreeOhChristmasTreeFaLaLa · 17/12/2022 12:09

Dorisbonson · 17/12/2022 05:07

And for any horrid journalist looking for a story they don't have permission to use content from my posts.

You posted on an open public forum, you've just published the story for anyone to read yourself.

AcerbicColleague · 17/12/2022 12:10

My 80 yo mum had a block of cannabis in her freezer

pinneddownbytabbies · 17/12/2022 12:16

Pismascrescents · 17/12/2022 08:58

I haven’t “found out” per se but one distant relative is so strikingly similar to another relative that I have very little doubt that there must be a closer blood tie than the official one

If they are cousins, then it isn't unusual for cousins to resemble one another more closely than they do their own siblings.

JustCakeInDrag · 17/12/2022 12:35

pinneddownbytabbies · 17/12/2022 12:16

If they are cousins, then it isn't unusual for cousins to resemble one another more closely than they do their own siblings.

Show quote history

There is a paternal aunt and niece in my extended family who are incredibly alike. They are regularly mistaken for mother and daughter and people comment on it so often that it has started to really piss off the mother.

pinneddownbytabbies · 17/12/2022 12:36

@postcardpuffin The 'son' may well have kept it quiet out of respect for your relative's wishes, and also because, until not all that long ago in the grand scheme of things, homosexuality was illegal.

bananafish · 17/12/2022 12:55

That I had a sister 😦 Thanks for that little bombshell, Mother.

She always had a flair for the dramatic and very much enjoyed keeping me on my toes as to where the next incredibly damaging emotional blow she could land, would come from 😐

I have absolutely no interest in getting to know my surprise sibling. Everyone knew except for me. I finally figured it out at her funeral.

I have to ignore the fact that my brothers kept it from me or that's another set of my family relationships that will be ruined by her rampant narcissism.

I let sleeping dogs lie on the condition that no-one brings it up to my face ever again.

greenacrylicpaint · 17/12/2022 12:56

that they were a peodophile and child rapist.

MrsOnyx · 17/12/2022 12:57

@MrsThimbles thank you for your kind post.

SilentHedges · 17/12/2022 13:04

Bogofftosomewherehot · 16/12/2022 20:26

Went to a funeral once where the deceased secret child turned up. That made for an interesting wake.

@Bogofftosomewherehot I am that (not yet) deceased persons secret child, and I'll consider at the time whether I'll show up , or not, and make the wake more interesting.

MissAmbrosia · 17/12/2022 13:12

A couple of years ago we were contacted by an Heir hunting firm. A cousin of DGM had died with no family. No one had ever heard of her, but after doing a bit of digging around, it turns out she was an athlete and took part in 1948 London Olympics and later stabbed her husband to death in their bedroom! The family WhatsApp group was agog for weeks. My share of the fortune was £80 though DGM (who died before this) had some cousins who are still alive who got several thousand.

Sundayvibes · 17/12/2022 13:15

A few months after my grandad died.
my uncle told me he used to hit my Nan when they were younger.
He would often come home from the pub and get violent.
It left me feeling upset for quite a while.

CrispyEgg · 17/12/2022 13:35

Marriage

Pelo22 · 17/12/2022 13:37

@JustCakeInDrag same, my cousins resemble my mum totally
They're all dark eyes, dark hair, olive tanned skin. I'm a redhead with green eyes that looks like I won't make it through winter

Rightsraptor · 17/12/2022 13:51

OK @Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g I'm overly something or other. Naive? Cynical? No idea.

But whose family doesn't harbour secrets? I bet those so-called journalists have some skeletons in family cupboards.

Someone once said 'if you don't know the family secret, you're probably it'

xyhere · 17/12/2022 13:57

My MIL - she told our daughter (not biologically mine, but I've been here for as long as she can remember) that she was conceived via sexual assault, that her father was the son of a rich guy she (the MIL) was having an affair with, and tried to get her to help fleece their family for money.

The son in question was nothing to do with her conception, and the MIL knows that for a fact.

Absolutely fkn insane, but...par for the course with that nasty old woman.

PenCreed · 17/12/2022 13:59

AngelDelightUK · 17/12/2022 11:43

When my grans sister died, they found books written of all presents she’d received from people, and then who she’d regifted them to!

Sorry not scandalous but all I can think of atm

That's brilliant! So organised, makes sure she didn't give it straight back to them next Christmas...

DucklingDaisy · 17/12/2022 13:59

Child abuser. His foster son told my dad at his memorial service.

gourmetperle · 17/12/2022 14:10

Bogofftosomewherehot · 16/12/2022 20:26

Went to a funeral once where the deceased secret child turned up. That made for an interesting wake.

What? They were at a child's funeral and said child turned up?!