How long am I expected to go without food?

[chappysays]

DD (10 months) has been in hospital for 4 days now

I asked to go for a wee on the first night she came in, the nurse I pulled to the side to ask if someone could watch her said 'I'll be honest, no. We are so busy right now, really short staffed'

So I waited another hour and asked again. The nurse who was administering her meds said okay but she only had a few minutes. I did a quick wee and ran back

Second and third night, nobody to watch her whilst I run to get something to eat. Second night there I ate DD's dinner (she isn't eating much at all right now because of her breathing, and didn't want it).

I got a telling off because apparently they need to monitor what DD eats. I said but I can tell you she wouldn't even have a mouthful. The nurse said 'yes and now you've had the lot, I can't tell what she'd had to put in her notes'

It is now the 4th day here and apart from me sneaking bits and bobs, I've had nothing. I am exhausted, haven't slept much and hungry. I need a change of clothes

Nobody to drop anything down to me. It's just awful

How long can I really be expected to go without? DD is presenting as energetic and happy, it's just her breathing but you wouldn't know to look at her. They call it 'happy wheezing'

So it's even more exhausting because she's acting normally and not like an unwell baby. So you have to constantly be on guard as it's a hard cot with bars and she keeps throwing herself backwards whilst trying to stand

Round of applause for Claire! Hope everything goes well for OP & her child.

Glad to hear Claire helped you out and sorry for the harsh and unnecessary posts. It's difficult doing everything alone, more so when you're hungry, tired and stressed out. It's a tough situation. I hope your little one is OK too.

Your very intense and overinvested in this thread. Just drop it and move on.

I've found this even with elderly relatives who's care isn't being properly coordinated, you have to find someone senior and ensure they listen. The days of having an identified nurse for each patient are well behind us.

When I broke my back in 2009, the "bone ward" was full of older people that had slipped on the ice and had broken bones or hips.

The staff that were there were epic but there weren't octupuses with 8 arms
each.

One of the saddest things was seeing meals being placed out of reach by catering staff.

It never appeared to be done in a spiteful way just hurried and thoughtless.

The saddest thing was knowing people wanted their food but couldn't get to it.

This was 2009, I dread to think how much worse it would be now.

Also if any nurses from B3 Poole hOSPITAL READ THIS, YOU WERE EPIC!

Are there play workers?
When we have been in for long stints. The playworkers and teacher would visit and this usually give parents a chance to grab a shower or pop out.

No
ps, out of interest are you going to tell off the other posters who are querying this or just me?

Did pals or ward manager get back to you

Massive thanks to Claire for being the magical pal OP needed.

Sorry you’re going through this.

PALS are Mon to Fri 9 to 5

Just you.

Well done Claire. Sometimes random acts of kindness are needed, and its so good to see theres still selfless people out there. OP delighted you got sorted for now. Hope your DC recovers soon. While I can see the situation from both sides, the hospital should make special arrangments for parents in you situation. Even if staff are too busy theres no excuse to be unkind. Wishing you and your DC well.

It’s lovely that Claire came to help - so sad about some of the harsh comments that have come your way - I can’t understand why people have to be mean. Hope you both have good night sleep and are home soon

It appears there is a wide variation in service provision across the country and also there is a terribnle attitude (in many walks of life now) of I suffered so must you.

These things shouldn't be divisive and instead of trying to keep the OP down - "why didn't you do this or that?" we should be advocating for the same pretrty basic standards for all nationwide.

Similar in fact to the original ideals and idea of the NHS not this piece-by-piece Trust and ICS nightmare.

I've stayed in hospital with my ds since he was a baby multiple times. I never had this problem, why can't you leave her alone at all?
I was always able to go get food in canteen, take a break in the garden, go get some papers/books from shop, no one stopped me going out at all.
Maybe you are misunderstanding something? Why can't she left alone at all?

OP I am 25 minutes away and can drop stuff in if you need it over the next few days, just drop me a message

I have explained multiple times now

It may be worth pointing out that in order to see all OP's posts, you can click on "see all" at the bottom of any one of them, and you will get all OP's posts without any others. This makes it easy to see what questions OP has already answered, from the very beginning of the thread right to the end.

I don't mean to sound like a dick but do you not think if there was she'd have already thought of this?

Why do people respond with such silly things?
The OP does have a functioning brain you know!

Glad someone helped you OP. When my dd was in hospital a lot unexpectedly we eventually prepared a bag.

It is pretty miserable when you cannot go get food and is a real issue. Whenever we go to a&e now we always pack for a stay even if it’s not used.

Sorry to hear about your poor treatment OP, thankfully my DC have never been in for longer than overnight but I was offered a menu to order food from. Can you take dd with you to make a tea or nip to the loo? Can't see them arguing with that if she has to be constantly supervised and they can't help. Fingers crossed you'll be out soon - wishing your dd well!

And yet certain benefits are stopped if people are in hospital for any length of time. Because its deemed that the hospital is doing the caring. This country loves having it both ways.

Bless you Claire xx so much nicer to kind thsn judge. I hope Claire gets some lovely karma in return soon

I experienced a similar situation when DS was hospitalised with meningitis as a baby. Luckily I was given breakfast, but only because I was breastfeeding and therefore DS’s source of food, not for my own well being. Other non breastfeeding mothers were given nothing. It trust policy unfortunately.

There must be someone who you can ask to bring you something op. Even just an acquaintance? I would do it for you if I was nearby.

Over 20 yrs I was in a similar situation with a 1 yr who had gastroenteritis and wasn't allowed out of a little room with a shared ensuite. The woman who shared the ensuite would lock the door from her side and I couldn't even get to the toilet.
Well done to you for spelling out your situation and well done to your helper.

Sending love and kindness op. It sounds so hard for you right now. I hope your baby gets better soon and you get home.