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Original poster

How long am I expected to go without food?

538 replies

chappysays · 10/12/2022 12:39

DD (10 months) has been in hospital for 4 days now

I asked to go for a wee on the first night she came in, the nurse I pulled to the side to ask if someone could watch her said 'I'll be honest, no. We are so busy right now, really short staffed'

So I waited another hour and asked again. The nurse who was administering her meds said okay but she only had a few minutes. I did a quick wee and ran back Sad

Second and third night, nobody to watch her whilst I run to get something to eat. Second night there I ate DD's dinner (she isn't eating much at all right now because of her breathing, and didn't want it).

I got a telling off because apparently they need to monitor what DD eats. I said but I can tell you she wouldn't even have a mouthful. The nurse said 'yes and now you've had the lot, I can't tell what she'd had to put in her notes'

It is now the 4th day here and apart from me sneaking bits and bobs, I've had nothing. I am exhausted, haven't slept much and hungry. I need a change of clothes

Nobody to drop anything down to me. It's just awful

How long can I really be expected to go without? DD is presenting as energetic and happy, it's just her breathing but you wouldn't know to look at her. They call it 'happy wheezing'

So it's even more exhausting because she's acting normally and not like an unwell baby. So you have to constantly be on guard as it's a hard cot with bars and she keeps throwing herself backwards whilst trying to stand Envy

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 10/12/2022 17:16

Thank you Claire for being so kind. This can be such a fab community. Smile

I hope your dd gets to go home really soon chappy. Hopefully you will get food provided by the hospital now. Flowers

Bunnycat101 · 10/12/2022 17:16

There are some cold posts on here. OP I hope you are feeling a bit better after some food.

I remember being in with mine when she was about 11m old for far less time than you and with a husband providing support and it was mega stressful. We felt like one of us had to be there at all times and there was no way you could safely leave a baby. The only reason I ate anything is because there were two of us at times so we could tag team. We also had a full on hospital bed rather than a cot so the baby could never have been left and there were people milling in and out. That age is really difficult to manage in paediatrics especially with all the noises, bright lights etc. parents are not normal visitors in those circumstances- they absolutely need a little bit of support.

Zone2NorthLondon · 10/12/2022 17:17

Im not disputing the veracity of op account, I am saying she need to directly tell staff she’s stepping out for 30min
She needs to ask why are there no cot bumpers given risk of accidental injury
At handover when there are staff changeover can a student sit with DD whilst op step aside

Interested in this thread?

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Families
Winterfires · 10/12/2022 17:18

CarefreeMe · 10/12/2022 15:01

Just to update a lovely mumsnetter has messaged me and bringing me some Tesco bits up Flowers

So I guess this was a sort of begging thread GrinBlush but I was desperate and very thankful someone's coming

If you started the thread as a begging thread as you wanted a MNer to drop stuff off for you, then why did you not say that in the beginning?

It would have saved a lot of hassle beating around the bush if you had just said is anyone in X area that can bring me in X, Y and Z and I’ll give you the money when you get here.

You are just plain awful.

Winterfires · 10/12/2022 17:19

Zone2NorthLondon · 10/12/2022 17:17

Im not disputing the veracity of op account, I am saying she need to directly tell staff she’s stepping out for 30min
She needs to ask why are there no cot bumpers given risk of accidental injury
At handover when there are staff changeover can a student sit with DD whilst op step aside

Seriously, why can’t you just drop it?? Why are you so overly invested in being wretched, just let it go and go on the daily mail online and spread some hate about there. The OP has been helped now, just leave be.

Winterfires · 10/12/2022 17:21

Well done Claire! When I had my first baby I got told off for leaving her to go and have a wee, (we were in for 6 days) luckily I had outside support otherwise I would have just had to piss myself I guess.

Theoldwoman · 10/12/2022 17:23

Three cheers for Claire. The world is a better place with you in it x

Peedoffo · 10/12/2022 17:23

TheYearOfSmallThings · 10/12/2022 17:02

Load of bollocks , the child is in the care of the hospital.

And the hospital does not have 1:1 staff for each child, and they discharge their responsibility by requiring a parent to stay with their child and provide supervision and non-medical care.

And for those saying a ward is a secure environment, it absolutely is not. I work in a hospital and I can tell you staff are coming and going all the time (everyone from the medical director down to an agency temp emptying the waste). Patients are visited by family - sometimes quite a few random relatives, who may wander around. It is nothing like a nursery, where you can predict exactly who will be there.

So if a parent leaves a toddler who will climb out if bed and go looking for them, this poses a risk to the child, which is exactly why staff do not want the parent to leave. I have no idea why people are pretending this is not the case.

We are busy yes but it's utterly inhumane to leave a relative for 4 days with no food and a shower. I wouldn't treat my patients relatives like that, a cup of tea and some food I've found. Yes it gets busy but not so busy you expect a relative to do a 4 day bed watch!!!!! We wouldn't expect the staff to do constant observations for that long. I think some people have forgotten how to show care and compassion.

Kennykenkencat · 10/12/2022 17:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

A parents room

Might be be in your nearest hospital but I have never seen one and Uber eats can only deliver to the door of the ward. They won’t be able to bring it to the bedside and even then if no one has time to watch dc for a minute whilst op releases herself they aren’t going to go to the door to collect a takeaway

LouLou198 · 10/12/2022 17:28

Sorry to hear it's not much different when dd was in hospital as a baby 11 years ago. I remember being so hungry, and had to wait all day for someone to bring me a sandwich as everyone was at work. Since then I always have a rucksack packed in case any of the dc need to go to hospital. It has Pjs for us both, slippers, snacks, water, wash bag and travel mug (as we weren't allowed to have a hot drink without a lid) . It has come in handy several times for us since! Obviously not much help to you now but something to think about. Hope you get home soon.

SweetSakura · 10/12/2022 17:29

I went a week with basically no sleep, one shower and hardly any meals when my son was in hospital. I went into early labour at the end of that week. It took me years to shake off the physical and mental toll of that time.

Yes the primary failure was my (now ex) husbands for only coming in twice, but actually many parents are single or have other children at home or no family near or similar.

I hope you have a better time soon Op and I am glad someone came to your rescue.

Aworldofmyown · 10/12/2022 17:29

I cannot believe some people are suggesting that OP just tells staff she going and leaves. She'd be leaving a small child with no direct supervision and the real possibility of zero supervision in an emergency.
Our hospital had a snack trolley that came round the wards with sandwiches and chocolate etc it was a godsend

Zone2NorthLondon · 10/12/2022 17:30

Winterfires · 10/12/2022 17:19

Seriously, why can’t you just drop it?? Why are you so overly invested in being wretched, just let it go and go on the daily mail online and spread some hate about there. The OP has been helped now, just leave be.

Show quote history

In telling me I’m wretched you resort to name calling to emphasise the pount
riiiiiiight because that’s really making your #BeKIND point

MrsThimbles · 10/12/2022 17:31

Zone2NorthLondon · 10/12/2022 14:32

In the time op was on mn she could equally have got food delivered
Doesnt the WRVS trolley come round with snacks etc

Whatever it is that’s going on in your life I hope it resolves itself soon.

Winterfires · 10/12/2022 17:32

Zone2NorthLondon · 10/12/2022 17:30

In telling me I’m wretched you resort to name calling to emphasise the pount
riiiiiiight because that’s really making your #BeKIND point

Show quote history

Eurgh, I would never say #Bekind more #Dontbeadick 😂 Being wretched is name calling it’s descriptive of the behaviour of a person not the person themselves, I’m sure you’re perfectly lovely offline when you aren’t kicking someone when they are down.

SweetSakura · 10/12/2022 17:32

This is the amazing charity that was set up in memory of a lovely little girl who hated seeing her mum miss meals when she was in hospital www.sophieslegacy.co.uk/

The thing is, when your kid is scared and very sick you just don't leave their side.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 10/12/2022 17:33

We are busy yes but it's utterly inhumane to leave a relative for 4 days with no food and a shower.

I totally agree! I was responding to the posters claiming parents need not stay on the ward because the hospital is fully responsible for their patient, and the ward is a secure environment.

IrmaGord · 10/12/2022 17:34

Doesnt the WRVS trolley come round with snacks etc

I've had stays in hospital personally and with family for the last four and half decades. The last time I saw someone come round with a snack trolley was sometime in the 1980's.

Untitledsquatboulder · 10/12/2022 17:37

I was recently in hospital with ds for 3 weeks. It was normal there for babies and toddlers to be left for short periods whilst mothers nipped to the cafe for some food, or took a shower. There was one mum who had to leave her dd for most of the day and all night as she had other children to care for. I won't say that the staff found it easy but they did it cope- there was a play worker on the ward mon-fri who did a lot. I don't think hospitals should have to feed parents (ours did offer tea and toast) but they certainly should make it possible for them to fetch and eat their own food.

Unsureofitall · 10/12/2022 17:37

Glad you got some help op. When my daughter was in hospital, I didn't eat at all. Luckily it was just over night, they only feed patients so my daughter did get some food. And even so, I wouldn't have left her to go get food as she was poorly and only wanted me. Nurses seemed so busy with other patients, I didn't even ask to leave her. So I get your dilemma. Hope your DD gets well soonFlowers

SweetSakura · 10/12/2022 17:38

IrmaGord · 10/12/2022 17:34

Doesnt the WRVS trolley come round with snacks etc

I've had stays in hospital personally and with family for the last four and half decades. The last time I saw someone come round with a snack trolley was sometime in the 1980's.

Yeah I have never seen a trolley in hospital ever and we are there a lot.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 10/12/2022 17:40

Well done to Claire!

It takes nothing to help out someone else.

If I were nearer I’d certainly drop off a bag of essentials.

My DM when my DB was seriously sick in hospital as a child only had my stepdad to help out though I’m sure friends would’ve done. I don’t recall family helping out (though we saw them) so I know exactly where OP is coming from. If OP gets sick due to not eating what then though? Hopefully her daughter will be home and feeling better soon.

Anxiousanddramatic · 10/12/2022 17:42

Hi
I'm actually on my way to Bedfordshire to visit some family for the evening
I would happy stop by and bring you some supplies if you need me too, I had my first baby in bedford and I had zero family near me and no help with lots of things for years so understand what your going through x

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 10/12/2022 17:43

SweetSakura · 10/12/2022 17:38

Yeah I have never seen a trolley in hospital ever and we are there a lot.

Show quote history

Weren’t they manned by volunteers?

Gizmo79 · 10/12/2022 17:44

Whilst I am an advocate of feeding parents, ward budgets are already stretched.
wards are currently running with less than half normal staffing with high acuity.
I do not think most people on this thread actually realise what it is like at the moment. We are having waiting times of over two hours just to be triaged. Pretty much unheard of in paediatrics. Those of you who think that nurses can just look after unattended children currently are sadly mistaken. There are few volunteers also at the moment. There is no easy answer.