Starting a ‘wee only’ rule in the en-suite rule?

[Notsympatheticenough]

new house. En-suite isn’t as soundproof as old en-suite. Dh’s ablutions in the morning are…loud. Is it unreasonable I ask him to use the family bathroom?

he says the loo is more comfortable in The en suite. He has no embarrassment factor.

maybe I could offer to stop doing something that annoys him?

I have honestly never understood the appeal of an ensuite bathroom. It seems even relatively modest houses must have them to be saleable these days, but I don't get it.

It’s a discussion about listening to your partner defecate, not sure any of us can cop to balance and maturity.

DH isn’t allowed to poo in the en-suite. He knew that before we’d even had the offer accepted on the house. The downstairs toilet door is almost opposite the sitting room, no one wants to be pooing in there if they want any privacy, really.

When we were looking for houses I discounted so many because there was toilets or bathrooms straight off the kitchen. No way was I having that.

Do neither of you ever far t in bed? Under building regs bath/shower rooms have to gave an extractor fan or a window.use that!
I don't understand this ' shitting in the bedroom business. Does your enquire not have a door?

That's why I never have an en-suite in my house. Who wants to hear someone use the bathroom at 2am?

Our bath room is next to ds bedroom and opposite mine.

We can't shit elsewhere.

Can't imagine if we did have an en suite using it for wee only!

But then again it's only ds and I so we would probably disturb each other less than the current set up does!

The rule is fine for you, you can choose not to poo in a certain toilet, but you don’t get to make that choice for someone else.

Oh give over, how shallow must your relationship be. We have an en suite and use it normally. Married over 35 years , passion and spark is still there thanks

In our sleep we might, I’ve no idea. Certainly not when awake. Grim.

We don’t have an en suite and never would, but I’ve done a diagram to demonstrate that a door isn’t really a barrier – whoever uses the en suite has to then open the door, thus transforming the two spaces, en suite and bathroom, into one room. And doors aren’t soundproof the way walls can be!

Top is the en suite; bottom is a regular bathroom with the corridor acting as ante-chamber. You can see clearly and scientifically that the poo waft has a further distance to travel, with more bends; ditto the noises. :bangs gavel:

I must admit that if either of us gets up for a wee in the night (we're old so it's most nights!) in the en-suite we don't flush so we don't wake the other. We flush in the morning. I expect a lot of people on here will be disgusted by that!

Brilliant @stuntbubbles ! you've taken time out of your day to do a diagram about poo spores and how they travel
I love this site
Pahahahahahahahahah

We poo in the ensuite, but never when someone is lying in bed having to listen or last thing at night when smells potentially travel and linger. We've never had to have a conversation about it - surely it is just common sense and being considerate.

I would think it was really unfair if I was allowed to use the ensuite but DH wasn't! It's the most convenient.
We use it for all toilet purposes because that's what toilets are for but I can't remember either of us needing more than a wee at bedtime.
I can't believe some pp have a whole separate bathroom to their DH!

We don't have any set rules but I have to say DH is very considerate. He'd never use the en-suite if I'm in bed, he'd nip to the bathroom or the downstairs. Similarly, if we're downstairs in the day, he'll nip off upstairs.

I think you must have a pretty fragile relationship!

Husband has his own bathroom because I don't want to go in and have to sit when the toilet is dirty and smelly. It's gross, he has 45 minute loud shits, no idea why and it does indeed disgust me which is why I refuse to share. He doesn't clean properly so he is on his own.
We live in a country where it is usual to have 2 or 3 bathrooms in a family house.

I couldn't live with a man who needed his own bathroom because his hygiene standards were so low. That would take that spark out of the relationship.

Yep, people on MN are very weird about stuff like this. It's literally a toilet, why would you not use it for its intended purpose?! And for those saying "shitting in your bedroom", it's a separate room with a door. When you go in your downstairs loo I'm assuming you don't feel like you're shitting in the hall??

Also having been married for over 20 years i really can't imagine being embarrassed about normal bodily functions with your partner. He's seen me give birth three times, a fart noise or splashing sound is hardly going to cause us embarrassment.

@luckylavender

Don't poo in the wardrobe. That would be worse.

Just made me spit tea over my keyboard. Hahaha!

@allthelittlelights

he has 45 minute loud shits

He needs to see a doctor, surely.

Agree.
I can't imagine how lots of MN coped with childbirth, changing nappies, toilet training and kids vomiting all of which include way more close contact and frequent exposure to bodily functions than another adult going for a poo in a toilet in a separate room

@stuntbubbles I love how you use the term 'scientifically' to describe a little pencil sketch. There is nothing scientific about it. It depends on variables you haven't even mentioned: distance, whether there are windows or not, air flow direction, whether doors are open or closed and whether the bedroom is opposite or adjacent to the bedroom or all the way down the hall. One could argue that a bathroom directly opposite a bedroom would cause more 'poop spores' to reach the bed than an en-suite around a bend. Our bedroom is huge and L shaped. The en-suite door is further from our bed than many bathroom doors are from bedrooms.

You need to read the thread about bad farts

Not true, I had it peer-reviewed.

If you don't want people to poo in your en-suite toilet, have a urinal fitted there instead. Toilets are for pissing and shitting in. It's a regular function of a healthy body. Everyone does it, it's not disgusting or "dirty".