Rightmove Gem.

[PriamFarrl]

Crazy description ✔️
Detailed picture of every toilet ✔️
Pictures of random trees ✔️
Pictures of a dog ✔️
Pictures of the actual house ❎

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/129160883#/?channel=RES_BUY

Absolutely dreadful. Not one thing I like about it, except maybe the views. The rest is just bizarre.

I've been to far more stylish swingers clubs.

Me too. 😂

You’re all too easily charmed by the dog, which the owner definitely uses to get chatting with lone female dog walkers near the creepy tunnel

Wonder who owns the grounds lease. Who you have to go by to make changes to the flat??

Also found the listing on companies house. If you ever need to do detective work that's the place to start. There's several people who are part of the company. All living in the block of flats

Every new fact ups the eww factor. Even seemingly innocuous ones. A house so eww, it's eews everything in its orbit.

It HAS to be a brothel. How can a house look that brothel and NOT be a brothel?

Err when it's not a brothel.More probably an eco godhead sensual exploration space where you can connect to the tantric universe through a sex portal.

I'm going to print that out, laminate it and stock it on my fridge.

Instant diet success. Read that and completely lose my appetite.

🤣

THIS! SPOT-ON!

Perhaps the owner is Brian from Hull?

It's not a lovely area.

I didnt even know psychologists recommended paint colours annually!

😂😂😂

Are the massage services provided yoni massages by any chance

www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/property/800000-flat-bristol-most-bonkers-7870586

Local news picking up the story now! "Luxury Bristol flat for sale on Rightmove with the 'most bonkers' sales pitch"

Bit sad to see the kid's drawings and photos on the mantel in pic 61. Since there's only one bedroom, where did the kids sleep?

In Google streetview, you can see pix from previous years, so you can see the house under construction in ... 2012, I think it was.

I'm in the Bristol area and would normally offer to book a viewing to have a nosey around but I'm scared I'd never make it out alive!!! You can guarantee that the estate agents won't be the ones doing the viewing!!!

How can you see the older views @CanadianJohn

I can’t see any stains on the sheet but am amused to see the bed is styled with bedside reading of National Geographic featuring an atomic bomb. What could be more relaxing?

Yeah I thought it seemed to be implying for all that money you only get the tiny flat but I think a lot of the photos are of the main house perhaps? It’s very hard to decipher

Anyways if we are correct, what a complete and utter rip off

My god that was enjoyable. The poor estate agent though.

I still cannot get through the whole 'owners words' description. I have to peel away to rest my eyes.

I did love the emphasis on the magnificent oak and how the house is lovingly crafted around it. In other words they wanted to chop it down but it had a preservation order on it.

Actual psychologist here. Nor did I. Don't remember ever covering that in training. And I've never ever had the urge to say "Well Mr Smith, it does seem as though your depression is getting worse. Have you thought about introducing more green into your life? It's THE colour for 2022, you know."

That is exactly the vibe it's giving off. Ageing hippy with wispy beard and receding long hair, wearing tie dye, or a goatskin waistcoat with nothing underneath and talking about his amazing out of body, Ayurvedic, sensual experiences in the foothills of the Himalayas in the eighties.

Ay, you see, to me, that sounds at least authentic (not attractive, but authentic ). This house feels more forced than that.

I still see a slightly bitter (it's the green), intensely humourless Ben Kingsley figure who is convinced that he's God's gift to the sensual arts (dry heave), who thinks that his yooneek combination of design skills, cosmic sensuality and some other shit means that this brothel house occupies it's own place of meaningful beauty outside societal norms JUST LIKE HE DOES.