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Rightmove Gem.

517 replies

PriamFarrl · 27/11/2022 23:17

Crazy description ✔️
Detailed picture of every toilet ✔️
Pictures of random trees ✔️
Pictures of a dog ✔️
Pictures of the actual house ❎

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/129160883#/?channel=RES_BUY

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Duchesscheshire · 28/11/2022 11:08

Hideous. Blurb. House. Pictures and wood. Good luck selling that monstrosity. Do people like that stuff?

CallMeDaphne · 28/11/2022 11:08

BruceAndNosh · 27/11/2022 23:31

The colour palette is organic
Poo brown and snot green

Now don't be like that...

"The property is currently decorated in one of the 2022 paint colours of the year according to the whole industry and even psychologists."

AtomicRitual · 28/11/2022 11:09

Oh, Lordy. I'm not sure I can sit through 124 photos of that!

Can I assume that Strike are the new Purple Bricks and the photos were taken by the owner on a 15 year old digital camera ?

The shower cubicle isn't even clean...!

I'm so confused...!

Softplayhooray · 28/11/2022 11:10

I feel like you'd buy this and then discover the former owner had been living in the walls for the last ten years...

MasterBeth · 28/11/2022 11:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Racist post. Reported.

Zizz · 28/11/2022 11:12

Picture 86 is my favourite. A tree!

And a light bulb... and some taps...

The kitchen makes me want to fling myself into the sea.

IncompleteSenten · 28/11/2022 11:12

The seller would be the biggest pita to deal with!

AtomicRitual · 28/11/2022 11:17

Bonus points for the cute dog photo though!

ZeroFuchsGiven · 28/11/2022 11:18

AtomicRitual · 28/11/2022 11:09

Oh, Lordy. I'm not sure I can sit through 124 photos of that!

Can I assume that Strike are the new Purple Bricks and the photos were taken by the owner on a 15 year old digital camera ?

The shower cubicle isn't even clean...!

I'm so confused...!

I think its actually stem in the shower Grin

Dreikanter · 28/11/2022 11:19

CallMeDaphne · 28/11/2022 11:08

Now don't be like that...

"The property is currently decorated in one of the 2022 paint colours of the year according to the whole industry and even psychologists."

Colours carefully selected from the F&B Gall Bladder and Calf Scour collection.

FaazoHuyzeoSix · 28/11/2022 11:20

It's taken me a while to get my head around this.
Mainly, this is the upstairs flat in a house that is split into two flats, but the house has a garage to the side and the garage belongs to this the top flat.
The element of the property on the ground floor is just the front door and passageway to the stairs up to the main flat, plus the garage. The owner is offering that if desired the garage will be converted into an ensuite bedroom if the purchaser so wishes (does one need planning permission for that? Garage conversions like this are often really badly insulated) so the floorplan shows both the "garage" and "bedroom" options for this bit.
The main flat is on the first floor. It consists of a large bedroom with 2 en-suites and two dressing-areas, plus a lounge, kitchen and tiny dining room (which could optionally be used as a further bedroom if you didn't need a dining room). The large bedroom could optionally be split into two smaller bedrooms each with their own bathroom, so this is illustrated in the floorplan again as a potential different layout.
Above the lounge and kitchen is a glass-pannelled mezzanine walkway giving access to two little loft-spaces under the eaves at the front and back, which are called respectively a "snug" and a "library" - these are small single-bedroom size rooms but don't meet building-regs standards for being called bedrooms because their "fire escape" route is too complicated and can't be fire-protected, so they can't be described or sold as bedrooms.

For comparisson, very nearby there is this 4 bedroom house on the market for only £600,000 and the decor is much less awful. www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/128472803

WinterLobelia · 28/11/2022 11:23

Right.... I have looked at the photos so many times the place is starting to grow on me. (Like moss. Green green moss).

I think I need to step away from the internet for a bit.

AtomicRitual · 28/11/2022 11:24

The pictures make it look like a lodge in the midst of a lovely wooded area, whereas it's actually just a regular house on a normal suburban street:

Google Street View

Emotionalsupportviper · 28/11/2022 11:25

54isanopendoor · 28/11/2022 10:51

It's MADE for Matt 'n' Gina I tells ya, made for 'em !!!
(he just needs to go on some rubbish TV show a 2nd time to have enough £)

Oh, I think he's got enough dosh . . . he just needs to remember the PIN number to his numbered Swiss account.

Emotionalsupportviper · 28/11/2022 11:25

Dreikanter · 28/11/2022 11:19

Colours carefully selected from the F&B Gall Bladder and Calf Scour collection.

Spat me tea out!

😂

smidgenson · 28/11/2022 11:26

That is a true RM gem.

I once had to ask an EA why they thought a close up of my downstairs loo on RM would help the sale of my home. Being that it was a particularly nice home right opposite a beach I'm not really thinking that the loo was the main attraction 😂

CheapWine · 28/11/2022 11:28

I gave up on picture 84. It’s a brothel, no one could like in such a vile and tasteless house with 100 bathrooms.

Tuters · 28/11/2022 11:29

I think it is over priced for a flat in an area that doesn't really have that many amenities and used to be a crappy area, the other side of Blaise ( close) is Lawrence Weston not the best of places!
But it's Bristol and as such now very expensive for no reason! I'm from Bristol.
There are some nice houses but also very close some not so nice, with anti-social behaviours! The pub if memory serves isn't the best either.
All in all who ever is selling must be on crack...

BucketofTeaMassiveCake · 28/11/2022 11:29

A gem indeed. Ten photos would have been sufficient. And did no-one dare tell the vender that when it comes of photos of lavatories - it'd LIDS DOWN, every time.

I wonder if there'll be many viewings. In some ways I feel a little sorry for the owner who is so out of kilter with reality.

Zaalfruit · 28/11/2022 11:31

I wonder why they are selling it?

Truffoiled · 28/11/2022 11:35

Maki79 · 28/11/2022 00:08

I bet anything the owner went to a steiner school

Really?! Literally nothing about this monstrosity seems to have the slightest resemblance to anything Steiner to me Grin

Hersetta427 · 28/11/2022 11:36

DO you reckon the dog is included in the sale.

I don't think I have ever seen (or read) anything quite so mental.

Truffoiled · 28/11/2022 11:38

For some reason, I keep imagining the owner to look like Ben Kingsley, circa 1990.

TugboatAnnie · 28/11/2022 11:39

DanceForeverUnderTheLights · 28/11/2022 11:05

Wow, the amount of money it must have cost to make that hideous monstrosity.

And imagine living next door and having to look out onto what probably used to be a nice garden, but now looks like it's full of sheds and cobbled together lean-tos. Poor neighbours.

I think that IS next door's! The 'penthouse' has a garden behind with the oak tree but I presume it belongs to the ground floor flat. So the buyer's view will be the messy garden!

CraggyIslandTouristBoard · 28/11/2022 11:40

CheapWine · 28/11/2022 11:28

I gave up on picture 84. It’s a brothel, no one could like in such a vile and tasteless house with 100 bathrooms.

My first thought was it was another brothel spa - I remember someone posting a link to one in here a year or so back.

For once I am really hoping the Daily Mail picks up this thread….

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