Tom Parker's widow and new boyfriend

[ImJustMadAboutSaffron]

The press have started reporting on Kelsey Parker dating a "convicted killer" 8 months after her husband Tom died. She has two very small children. Is it too soon, is it none of our business?

I wouldn't say it is advisable, but that's my own view only.

Thank you for coming back to me. That is a lovely end to the story, I think boasting is entirely in order.

I've given up shaving my legs as well. What a waste of time it is.

This a crazy idea but she could try getting a job? I'm also fairly sure she wouldn't have been left in poverty.

If she wants to be famous, she's going to have to develop a thick skin to people having an opinion on her choices

Hear hear. Every situation is different, every widow is different (another speaking from real rather than second hand experience)

My great grandmother died very suddenly in her 40s. Her family, including those who were otherwise normal and loving, never fully forgave my gt grandfather for marrying again. The way it was talked about made me think it had pretty much directly followed her funeral, such was the disdain. It was only when doing the family history that I discovered the second marriage was nearly 5 years later.

It made me realise that whatever you do as a widow, it is impossible to please everyone, so you may as well please yourself; I am of course conscious that children, especially young ones, are a huge consideration in any decisions.

Widow here. Multi tulip and Fluffy Cloud have said it better than I could - thank you.

@Whichwhatnow

Fuck me there are some judgemental comments here. My friend lost her husband in her early 20s to suicide with two tiny kids. She was in a relationship within weeks - he was even at the funeral. Do I judge her? No I do not (although many have). People need to get their own happiness in this world, as long as it's not harming anyone else. Just because it's not what you THINK you'd do doesn't make it wrong.

You're JOKING?! No way in HELL can you - or anyone else - think this is OK.

@ImJustMadAboutSaffron YANBU. If this is true - what the papers are saying about Tom's wife - then that IS shocking. Ignore the people bashing you, you're entitled to your own opinion!

Exactly this. ^ I can't believe ANYONE thinks it's OK.

I've been Bereaved twice.i lost my husband who was a lot older than me when ds2 was nearly five... I didn't date for two years and unfortunately my first boyfriend was an utter cockwomble who decided to dump me as soon as I slept with him. It was many years after when I got together with my late DP, he was someone I knew. He had lost his wife the previous year.. Six weeks or so after we got together he was diagnosed with cancer and gave me the chance to leave him.. I refused and we had just over two years together before he sadly died..

What a horrible thing to suggest.
That because someone moves on they didn't love their partner 'enough' for it to mean as much.

You do know there are people in that position on here who may well be upset my your judgement?

Yes exactly if she’s putting herself in the public eye then people will comment

No one's business but hers.

I don't think anyone here is widow/widower bashing, either towards Kelsey or anyone else in that devastating position. I think it's more the point of who she's chosen to date. The guy obviously has an anger management problem and I hope he received sufficient counselling and treatment for it in prison, for Kelsey and her kids sake. It wasn't a case of a drunken young lads "scrap". He was about 30 and the guy he went for was 44 and out with his two sisters and there is no mention of the victim being drunk. This wasn't groups of young lads drunkenly scrapping, the victim never laid a finger on him, Kelsey's drunken boyfriend went for him because he thought he'd looked at him "the wrong way". I feel sorry for Kelsey, she's obviously very vulnerable and yes, I'm aware it's none of my business but if this was Janet who lives across the road from me, then it wouldn't be in the papers or a thread on mumsnet. Publicity works both ways and if you put yourself out there, reality shows etc you've got to be prepared to take the rough with the smooth and people are going to have an opinion on you.

My DH was widowed in his early 20’s with a toddler DS.

He still talks about the difference in how he was treated and viewed compared to a woman he met through a support group was very stark.

He was the hero man singlehandedly bringing up a child who very bravely met someone else. People used to bring him food and offer babysitting for months after his wife’s death.

She had three children and the helpfulness drifted away within weeks. When she struggled comments were made that millions of women cope fine on their own. She met someone a good 9 months later that DH met me and there were comments about her not putting her kids first, being out on the tiles too much (she met him at work) and the likes.

The convicted killer is never good, especially so soon after death, everyone needs time to grieve.

This 👆 OP asked for opinions, the “reality show” will invite opinions, this is mine.

Our clown justice system 🤡 how is a killer allowed out after a few years?!

@JustLyra
sadly, that doesn’t surprise me at all.

This. Its just all so tacky. His poor parents.

Yes it's her own business but when making money through reality shows people of course will judge.

She obviously loved her husband very much.

Dating someone else now doesn't mean she didn't love him or isn't still grieving deeply.

Crazy speculation about what various strangers think, feel or are doing is distasteful and pointless.

Good luck to her, and any widowed person trying to navigate life.

Perfect.

Oh that is sad. I read about a woman recently, who was in the public eye when her husband committed suicide some years ago in their early 40s. She remarried last December and was widowed again in the summer. He was terminally ill when they married.

@Whichwhatnow your friend is disgusting.

If you don;t want people commenting on your life, you probably shouldn't live your entire life on instagram, and spend most of your time trying to get into any newspaper or tv show possible.

Bizarre to make such an effort to court publicity only for you lot to say her life is no-one elses business! Would it were so!

I just hope she’s ok.

I just know from personal experience how vulnerable you can be in the months after you are widowed

people can and will take advantage of it. Sometimes you can make stupid and poor decisions and your thought processes are all to pot

easy for us to judge, I hope she is getting proper support

Indeed. Utterly clueless.