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Tom Parker's widow and new boyfriend

229 replies

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 22/11/2022 11:15

The press have started reporting on Kelsey Parker dating a "convicted killer" 8 months after her husband Tom died. She has two very small children. Is it too soon, is it none of our business?

I wouldn't say it is advisable, but that's my own view only.

OP posts:
Guitarbar · 22/11/2022 13:52

2bazookas · 22/11/2022 13:41

Really? Maybe you should investigate the difference between manslaughter and murder.

Two drunks had a late night stand off at taxi rank; one punched the other in the face, he fell over and hit his head on the ground . The next day, he died of a brain bleed from his head injury.

Puncher was charged with manslaughter, and pleaded not guilty. He was stupid but did not intend to kill. Judge awarded four year sentence, knowing he'd serve two.

And yet if he hadn't punched him he wouldn't have died from a brain bleed and wouldn't have died. However its dressed up his inability to walk away from the situation or to respond differently killed a man, and 2 years just demonstrates what an absolute joke our justice system is.

MultiTulip · 22/11/2022 13:53

Meseekslookatme · 22/11/2022 13:42

Unless you've lost a partner, you have NO IDEA.
I lost mine suddenly, I met someone just under a year later and was given absolute hell for it by so called "friends" who felt I should still be at home in black, wailing and weeping.
These "friends" got the funeral out of the way, said the right things and then ignored me. I was so lonely. I'd be over the moon for someone that is making the first steps towards a new life without their love.
The loneliness is crushing. It was a short relationship, but I needed it. I've now moved on, I've met the second great love of my life and ditched the harpies that fucked me over when I needed them most.
I hope they never experience what I did.
This poor woman is finding her feet and has found comfort with someone that may or may not be her future. Who gives a shit, it's her life.
Take the judgmental attitudes elsewhere.

I’m so glad you’ve been able to move forwards. I’m sure your grief for your lost love is ever present, so it’s so important to be able to find new hope and support. I’m very sorry for your loss and those of all the other widows who’ve commented here. I notice that not one single widow has posted to judge the woman being discussed and that not one of the people judging her harshly has managed a ‘sorry for your loss’ to any of the widows who’ve posted.

hotelpink · 22/11/2022 13:55

I'm sure she won't expose her children to him.

She is exposing them to everyone else

ReformedWaywardTeen · 22/11/2022 13:57

I must say that when I read it I did think it was pretty rapid.
And then the whole convicted killer bit was added.

It's definitely giving Fearne McCann/Goodger chaotic vibes.

But oh well. Her life. Just hope the children are doing well

Meseekslookatme · 22/11/2022 13:58

MultiTulip · 22/11/2022 13:53

I’m so glad you’ve been able to move forwards. I’m sure your grief for your lost love is ever present, so it’s so important to be able to find new hope and support. I’m very sorry for your loss and those of all the other widows who’ve commented here. I notice that not one single widow has posted to judge the woman being discussed and that not one of the people judging her harshly has managed a ‘sorry for your loss’ to any of the widows who’ve posted.

Thank you!
I'm very happy now, never thought I would be again, time really does heal (as much as you want to scream at people that say that to you in the early days!)

There's an awesome video somewhere regarding grief and how you grow around it rather than it disappearing. (Vague I know, sorry, lunchbreak is over or I'd find it!)

Newusername21 · 22/11/2022 14:00

Shouldershoddy · 22/11/2022 11:25

Absolutely no one’s business…shocking that this poor lady is having her private life invaded by the media !

I believe she's starting a new fly on the wall series I think on ITVBe "my life after Tom" or something similar - so she's kind of inviting public comment IMO

Gazelda · 22/11/2022 14:00

Citycentre3 · 22/11/2022 13:24

Eh? Are you serious or just on a wind up?

Single parents shouldn't date. Wow.

That's right, if they truly love their children, they should put them first and not get them a new daddy at the earliest opportunity. It is morally wrong and the poor children just don't do well seeing their parent with someone else so soon. That is factual, granted not many people have that self control, but ideally no one with young children should be getting into new relationships at a whim.

Referring specifically to this situation, what makes you think she's getting her children a 'new daddy'? I can't see that being reported anywhere.

And more widely, your original post stated that single parents shouldn't date. You didn't put a timescale on it. So did you actually mean that single parents shouldn't date until x amount of time? Or not at all?

Maybe you should put a little bit more thought into your words before you post - surely you can see how hurtful and judgemental you are being to all of the widows (and other single parents) on this thread who have dated since becoming single?

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 22/11/2022 14:03

People who lose spouses do often move on quickly.
I believe it’s often because they know how great it is to be in a loving caring marriage and the benefits it brings.
When the spouse has died from a long illness then that’s often quicker as they will already been grieving.

Whichwhatnow · 22/11/2022 14:05

Fuck me there are some judgemental comments here.

My friend lost her husband in her early 20s to suicide with two tiny kids. She was in a relationship within weeks - he was even at the funeral. Do I judge her? No I do not (although many have). People need to get their own happiness in this world, as long as it's not harming anyone else. Just because it's not what you THINK you'd do doesn't make it wrong.

PumpkinQueens · 22/11/2022 14:14

Whichwhatnow · 22/11/2022 14:05

Fuck me there are some judgemental comments here.

My friend lost her husband in her early 20s to suicide with two tiny kids. She was in a relationship within weeks - he was even at the funeral. Do I judge her? No I do not (although many have). People need to get their own happiness in this world, as long as it's not harming anyone else. Just because it's not what you THINK you'd do doesn't make it wrong.

Imagine if a women was driven to suicide and her husband showed up at the funeral with his new bit of stuff? He would be judged harshly.

Hankunamatata · 22/11/2022 14:16

Your appears does suddenly or after a protracted illness. Your alone, utterly alone perhaps for first time in years. I think totally normal to seek out a human connection be it boyfriend or girlfriend

Rhondaa · 22/11/2022 14:17

'My friend lost her husband in her early 20s to suicide with two tiny kids. She was in a relationship within weeks - he was even at the funeral. Do I judge her? No I do not (although many have). People need to get their own happiness in this world'

He went to the funeral???.

People need to consider the feelings of everyone not just themselves.

CoastalWave · 22/11/2022 14:18

Whichwhatnow · 22/11/2022 11:56

My husband's friend pushed a lad off his bike when they were both teenagers after an argument. Very tragically he hit his head and died. I know this man (DH's friend) well and I know he is absolutely not a threat to society, no violent tendencies at all. He just got into an immature fight. I have no idea about who the man is that Kelsey is dating but please don't judge people based on one mistake - it's not equivalent to a serial killer or rapist.

As for her moving on after Tom that is entirely her business.

Pushing a lad off his bike is in no way comparable to punching someone. As a teenager, you would probably think it was funny to push someone off a bike and highly likely they would roll away. Beyond unlikely they would be injured or die (clearly as you say an absolute tragic turn of events)

Punching someone is always done to inflict injury. No grown man should be punching anyone. I've already taught my 8 yr old son that you never ever punch anyone because you could kill them. It's not information that is new to light!

Getting involved with a convicted killer when you have two small children - needs her head read. She's in a very vulnerable place and honestly, it's clearly going to end in tears.

None of our business at all really, but when she's keeping herself alive in the media, she surely must realise that the media will dig up any dirt - and lets be honest, this isn't just dirt - he killed someone. I'd be running a bloody mile.

Cas112 · 22/11/2022 14:19

So because it's in the tabloids it's true?

Probably someone she's only just met and maybe had a date with and the papers just sensationalising it like they do everything

Citycentre3 · 22/11/2022 14:22

Well I have seen first hand how devastating it is for children to watch their Mum date, just after the sudden death of their father because their Mum was so called lonely.

I stood by and watched a little boy sobbing for his Dad on Christmas day, the first Christmas without his Dad, and all his mother could say was, stop being so selfish Mummy needs some company because Mummy is lonely. This is when the issue of her new relationship was being discussed mere weeks after the death of her husband, who she was supposedly obsessed with. That child is now grown up, and struggles with trust and forming a real relationship with women. I directly believe his mother is to blame for this.

I stand by what I say though. It is factual children suffer damage seeing their parents date other people. A good parent would not expose their young children to it. If they must find someone new, I think waiting for their children to finish school, so it does not impact on them academically, and the child has a better understanding of adult relationships would be a good place to start. People that dismiss the facts that children are very much impacted by their parents new relationships are doing so because it is inconvenient for them to accept. But ideally no it should not be done.

I still stand by on what I said on the time issue. Every date or time spent on building a new relationship is time torn away from your child, and someone else all be it a grandparent, relative or paid sitter has to pick up where you have left off. I just can't see how the majority of women have time for this, not if their taking their role of mothering seriously.

I have a right to my factual opinion without being flamed because it is all true!

Helloautumn22 · 22/11/2022 14:27

She’s been through hell, watching her husband go through a terminal illness, she would have been grieving from the moment he was given that terminal diagnosis. I’ve never walked in her shoes but if she’s found some happiness after everything she’s gone through I don’t think it’s anyone’s business to judge if it’s the right time or not.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 22/11/2022 14:29

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 22/11/2022 13:49

Oh do grow up. The lady is in the public eye.

Why ask then? You take it on yourself to invite scorn on somebody you don't know, just because "The lady is in the public eye.". Not for her loss, she isn't.

Maybe next time just go and rub your thighs somewhere where you can froth to your heart's content about other people's lives - and don't invite comment.

CoastalWave · 22/11/2022 14:32

Citycentre3 · 22/11/2022 14:22

Well I have seen first hand how devastating it is for children to watch their Mum date, just after the sudden death of their father because their Mum was so called lonely.

I stood by and watched a little boy sobbing for his Dad on Christmas day, the first Christmas without his Dad, and all his mother could say was, stop being so selfish Mummy needs some company because Mummy is lonely. This is when the issue of her new relationship was being discussed mere weeks after the death of her husband, who she was supposedly obsessed with. That child is now grown up, and struggles with trust and forming a real relationship with women. I directly believe his mother is to blame for this.

I stand by what I say though. It is factual children suffer damage seeing their parents date other people. A good parent would not expose their young children to it. If they must find someone new, I think waiting for their children to finish school, so it does not impact on them academically, and the child has a better understanding of adult relationships would be a good place to start. People that dismiss the facts that children are very much impacted by their parents new relationships are doing so because it is inconvenient for them to accept. But ideally no it should not be done.

I still stand by on what I said on the time issue. Every date or time spent on building a new relationship is time torn away from your child, and someone else all be it a grandparent, relative or paid sitter has to pick up where you have left off. I just can't see how the majority of women have time for this, not if their taking their role of mothering seriously.

I have a right to my factual opinion without being flamed because it is all true!

👏100% agree with you. So many adults just don't take their responsibilities towards young children seriously enough. Childhood is a small window. I'm sorry you had to witness this (was it your son that died? I'm so sorry) and I'm sorry for the little boy. My Dad lost his Dad when he was 7. I asked my Grandma how come she didn't move on and find someone else and she said (and I quote) , your Dad was my top priority, I focused on him and his needs.
Later, she didn't just manage to find someone, but she was an amazing woman and raising an amazing man (my dad)

MeridianB · 22/11/2022 14:33

MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 22/11/2022 11:24

I'm of the opinion that it's not a great idea for a recently bereaved person (google tells me her husband died 6 months ago) to get into a relationship so quickly. Especially when you're the parent of very young kids, who will also be grieving.

This.

But as someone who knows the victim of a (different) 'one-punch killer' I never want to see this crime minimsed, so I understand people questioning her judgment.

fussychica · 22/11/2022 14:35

If you're making a TV show and letting the cameras into your life and home I think all bets are off when it comes to us commenting on her, clearly not, private life.

I hope the children are kept out of the whole thing but I very much doubt it.

Roselilly36 · 22/11/2022 14:36

Appalling that media are reporting this, poor woman, it must have been so difficult for her to try and move on with her life.

Peteryougit · 22/11/2022 14:38

Citycentre3 · 22/11/2022 14:22

Well I have seen first hand how devastating it is for children to watch their Mum date, just after the sudden death of their father because their Mum was so called lonely.

I stood by and watched a little boy sobbing for his Dad on Christmas day, the first Christmas without his Dad, and all his mother could say was, stop being so selfish Mummy needs some company because Mummy is lonely. This is when the issue of her new relationship was being discussed mere weeks after the death of her husband, who she was supposedly obsessed with. That child is now grown up, and struggles with trust and forming a real relationship with women. I directly believe his mother is to blame for this.

I stand by what I say though. It is factual children suffer damage seeing their parents date other people. A good parent would not expose their young children to it. If they must find someone new, I think waiting for their children to finish school, so it does not impact on them academically, and the child has a better understanding of adult relationships would be a good place to start. People that dismiss the facts that children are very much impacted by their parents new relationships are doing so because it is inconvenient for them to accept. But ideally no it should not be done.

I still stand by on what I said on the time issue. Every date or time spent on building a new relationship is time torn away from your child, and someone else all be it a grandparent, relative or paid sitter has to pick up where you have left off. I just can't see how the majority of women have time for this, not if their taking their role of mothering seriously.

I have a right to my factual opinion without being flamed because it is all true!

Yes.

My mum died when I had just turned 12. When I was 13, my father met someone new and put her first in everything for years, when I needed him the most.

It didn’t help that she disliked children though, and used every opportunity to humiliate me.

MultiTulip · 22/11/2022 14:39

Citycentre3 · 22/11/2022 14:22

Well I have seen first hand how devastating it is for children to watch their Mum date, just after the sudden death of their father because their Mum was so called lonely.

I stood by and watched a little boy sobbing for his Dad on Christmas day, the first Christmas without his Dad, and all his mother could say was, stop being so selfish Mummy needs some company because Mummy is lonely. This is when the issue of her new relationship was being discussed mere weeks after the death of her husband, who she was supposedly obsessed with. That child is now grown up, and struggles with trust and forming a real relationship with women. I directly believe his mother is to blame for this.

I stand by what I say though. It is factual children suffer damage seeing their parents date other people. A good parent would not expose their young children to it. If they must find someone new, I think waiting for their children to finish school, so it does not impact on them academically, and the child has a better understanding of adult relationships would be a good place to start. People that dismiss the facts that children are very much impacted by their parents new relationships are doing so because it is inconvenient for them to accept. But ideally no it should not be done.

I still stand by on what I said on the time issue. Every date or time spent on building a new relationship is time torn away from your child, and someone else all be it a grandparent, relative or paid sitter has to pick up where you have left off. I just can't see how the majority of women have time for this, not if their taking their role of mothering seriously.

I have a right to my factual opinion without being flamed because it is all true!

It’s not a ‘factual opinion’. It’s a misogynistic, judgemental opinion based on one incident with a grieving woman who sounds like she wasn’t coping at all. My youngest was 3 when my DH died. I am a 24/7 solo parent who did attachment parenting when they were babies and I do everything I can to mitigate the impact of the devastating loss we all suffered. Apparently that’s not enough for you and I shouldn’t be able to go on a date for a minimum of 15 years? DFOD.

Citycentre3 · 22/11/2022 14:44

@CoastalWave It was my Nephew. Thank you for sharing your Grandmother's story. Sadly there are not many people that are as selfless as her in today's society, but it is an ideal we should all strive to be.

Ted27 · 22/11/2022 14:52

@olivehater

quite

I don’t recall any posts about Damian Lewis starting a new relationship less than a year after his wife’s death.

Maybe I missed them

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