Tom Parker's widow and new boyfriend

[ImJustMadAboutSaffron]

The press have started reporting on Kelsey Parker dating a "convicted killer" 8 months after her husband Tom died. She has two very small children. Is it too soon, is it none of our business?

I wouldn't say it is advisable, but that's my own view only.

Damian Lewis didn’t have babies

She can grieve in whatever way she chooses, and if that involves going on dates with someone who makes her smile, then good. She went through the trauma of knowing her young husband was going to die, being by his side as he deteriorated and then held him as he passed away. If she can find happiness after going through that, then good for her.

Nobody can judge her and those that are doing, shame on you.

also statistically the happier a marriage was the quicker a widow or widower gets into a new relationship.

they may not be babies but Damian Lewis does have children

I'm not sure that Damian Lewis DID start a relationships less than a year after his wife's death. I know he's seeing someone but haven't seen a big reveal in any of the press about when he started dating her?

There was certainly nothing in the press about him seeing a convicted killer 6 months after his wife's death. Or that he had Instagram pages going for his kids with tens of thousands of followers from the minute of their births. He hasn't done a "Life after Wife" style TV docu months after her death whilst dating someone else.

"Mrs Parker and Boggans, a father-of-two, are believed to have met when she took a break with friends in Lindos, Rhodes, in September. 'It's very early days and no one knows what the future will bring, but for now, Kelsey is happy that someone else has come into her life,' said a source. More recently she attended the wedding of a member of his family in Kent and the couple were clearly affectionate with one another. Boggans recently split from the mother of his children"

If you ever see someone move on quickly after the death of a spouse please bear in mind you may not know all the facts. There are plenty of threads on the Relationships board about sexless and/or loveless marriages The surviving spouse might feel they have gone long enough without affection and intimacy and may feel they dont want to waste any more time.

I see you are still being the treat you have been on other threads and posts.

My friend started dating 3 months after her husband died. It did raise a few eyebrows but its her life.

People judge. Why should we not?

I would for sure judge your friend...bringing your new boyfriend to your husbands funeral is fucking sick. He killed himself....perhaps because his wife had a boyfriend?

Statistically the people who move on quickest were the happiest in their marriages.

My opinion is firstly it is none of anyones business who she dates or when
However (my username refers to my ex husband) I lost my boyfriend of three years, suddenly without warning 12 months ago. I started spending time with someone else a few months later and we are now dating, it doesn't mean I'm no longer grieving my bf, but I can be happy in a relationship also

What the fuck is the point of this thread? So everyone can have fun being judgy bitches together? Or in the hope that Kelsey will see it herself…?

Have you started this thread just to gossip?

It's no one's business when anyone decides they want to date again. She's a young woman who shouldn't have to be alone just to please other people. I'm sure they spoke about it before he died and he told her to live her life.

Fuck me, someone left the gate to the cunt farm open (nicked that from another thread)

two issues, one being the character of the person but the other issue of dating again after bereavement is the one mainly discussed here. Because some people have witnessed other people struggle and perhaps make poor choices doesn’t give you credence in wholeheartedly slating others. As other people are “ applauding “ others I’d like to applaud @StrawberryPot @gruffalosbrother @MultiTulip . Being a widow is not something you factor in when you first start a relationship yet when the relationship ends that is what you become forever in the eyes of everyone else.

widowhood is as personal as anyone else’s private life or relationship. Each situation is unique and a posters dismissal of the nuances of love and grief as “not loving as deeply” on a thread about a woman whose husband dies is actually very unpleasant to
read. You used the example of someone walking away from their family as loving less deeply. Firstly I’d say that they didn’t actually love the person at all. Secondly, how fucking insulting you are to compare to a situation like that as it’s totally irrelevant. It’s not a proper argument as it’s apples and oranges.

By that poster’s logic I must have loved my DH more than anyone else on this thread. Instead, if you scratch the surface of my situation you’d find that I was widowed by suicide six and a bit years ago. That led to a deeper realisation that I’d been in a relationship characterised by coercive control. Then I got a late diagnosis of autism and in top of that I had a DD whose father had hanged himself three years earlier, she was estranged from him
after I divorced him and moved 20 miles away . Amd then I had a DS who has additional needs (which I fought the county for assessment )in the years after his father’s suicide.

Getting into a relationship of any type with anyone has been completely off the table because the last thing I want to do is become emotionally entangled with anyone else .

My situation is as unique as anyone else’s. Nobody knows what it’s like inside anyone’s mind. So Fock off with the judgy comments. I don’t care a hoot what you think of me personally as I don’t know you. But others reading your comments could well be upset by them and I. Find that untenable really.

NB apologies to anyone I’ve missed off as iM menopausal 😀 and also
a special shout out to @LyingWitchInTheWardrobe . Nice to see you around 😁

Do you know more than the headlines about him? From what I've seen he got into a fight once with tragic results. Maybe the other guy attacked him, maybe he has never hit anyone else in his life or maybe he's a violent thug. I'd want to know more about the circumstances before I formed an opinion. The sentence seems light so I looked up the sentencing guidelines. Four categories for manslaughter from A (most serious) to D - lower culpability. A, B and C all have sentencing guidelines higher than 4 years so I assume he was in category D.

This is how category D was defined:

Death was caused in the course of an unlawful act
*which was in defence of self or other(s) (where not amounting to a defence) OR
*where there was no intention by the offender to cause any harm and no obvious risk of anything more than minor harm OR
*in which the offender played a minor role
*The offender’s responsibility was substantially reduced by mental disorder, learning disability or lack of maturity

So he might have been defending himself, not intending any harm or played a minor role. I'm assuming the mental disorder one doesn't apply.

@HoofWankingSpangleCunt that sounds really tough, hope you and your children are doing as OK as possible.

Don’t start on Lying Op. But I shouldn’t be surprised that you appear to have either followed or noted certain people’s comments as you started a thread and tried to pretend that it wasn’t at all salacious gossip.

Yon don’t know the background at all. My Nan was a very domineering militant woman whilst my granddad was very passive. On her death bed she set him up with her friend and told them it was her dying wish to see them courting each other. They started courting a month after she was buried up until they both died within weeks of each other. It was met with a lot of bitching amongst their friends but was truly what she wanted and they were surprised how well they got on.
You never know what the deceased’s wishes were.

It is up to her when she moves on but she is an absolute idiot to be dating a convicted killer. I do hope that SS are keeping an eye on her and, more importantly, her children.

Thank you @ancientgran im
Going to Over share here as there is a flip side to the situation I scratched the surface of up there ^^

Actually we’re all doing pretty well, and thank you for asking .

Bereavement happened between the end of her GCSEs and the start of her A levels. DD went on to get a degree and has a training contract with one of the Magic Circle Law firms. I’m stealth boasting here without the stealth.

DS now has friends!! And has discovered proper music and wants to go to gigs all the time. He’s currently disappointed that I’ve said no to him going to a Fontaines DC gig this weekend 😃

Amd I’m properly comfortable in my own sagging skin 😀 it’s an irony that the more mentally healthy I am coincides with my body falling apart due to age and other stuff 😁 I haven’t shaved my legs in six years and I’ve no intention of ever doing so again. 😁😁😁

@HoofWankingSpangleCunt Gosh, you’ve had a tough ride. I hope you and your kids are on an even keel now. I have met someone else after being widowed, carefully introduced to my kids after an extended period of dating, with the advice of their therapist on how to handle it. He is such a bonus to have in my kids’ lives, I’m sure my late DH would be so happy for us all. He is totally comfortable with me prioritising the kids and we’re all happy talking about late DH. The posters who think I should have joined a nunnery instead would have taken so much joy and comfort away from my kids. Thankfully, they’re not in charge of us.

I did get the impression there was more to him than an unfortunate punch.

Agreed. It may not be our business but it is certainly the grandparents business!!!
As a grandmother myself, I would be concerned

It's our business when she's making money from documentaries about his death IMHO